Sorry in advance, I'm sure this will be long. So we told our parents about our decision to adopt this weekend and it really just did not go over well. We've been putting off telling my IL's especially because FIL loves to look for the bad side of everything and we were pretty sure he would start emailing us articles daily about adoptions gone wrong, etc. He actually took it surprisingly well, however, and was supportive when DH told him. I told my MIL when we were out getting our nails done, and it was awful. I certainly didn't expect her to be excited about it exactly but at least not to make it seem like this is a horrible thing. She just got this look on her face and was like "why would you do that?!". Then went into "Are you sure you don't just want to try for one of your own longer? Why don't you just do IVF? Why don't you just wait a little longer? It better not be a ___ baby (Insert various races/ethnicities/special needs here). What if they want to take the baby back? What if the kid wants to go live with their real mom when they're a teenager because they don't like your rules?" No matter how much I explained how we are very set on our decision and how excited we were about it, she just kept saying all this. I know that she didn't say any of it to be mean but she just has no filter sometimes. At the end of the day, as she's dropping me back off at home, she says "You know we'll support whatever decision you make and love whatever you bring home". This definitely made it better, but I needed to hear that 6 hours earlier. I was on the verge of tears all day after that conversation.
Then I told my mom tonight on the phone and the first thing she did was gasp and say "why?!". I seriously had to hang the phone up and call her back because I couldn't take it. The conversation did get better and she was a little excited by the end of the phone call (and thankfully my dad took it very well when I called him after), but I still feel discouraged. I really don't want to tell anyone else anymore. We are confident in our decision and SO excited but it was hard to hear such hurtful comments from my mom and mostly MIL (I'm really close with both of them and shared a lot of our clomid journey with them). I just didn't expect them to actually sound like they were disappointed and make it seem like this is second best, because we have never thought that way.
So, did anyone else's parents take it like this? When did they start to come around? Did you talk about it with them after the initial conversation? I really have no desire to talk to them about it again and, at this point, really don't want to share with anyone else because I don't think I can handle another reaction like that. I know I'll probably have to get used to rude comments and reactions in the future, and maybe I am being oversensitive, but I guess I just wasn't expecting it from people so close to us who know what we've been through.