Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Big purchase for H? I'm torn NTR

H is in grad school. Last month his laptop died and he's been begging to get a new one. I keep arguing that we have a year old iMac in the office and we don't need to be spending $1200 on a new computer right now. 

Yesterday my boss told us that he has some laptops in the warehouse that he wants to sell cheap. They're refurbished with new software and they would take care off all technical support.  When I told H, hell broke loose. 

His argument: He wants a new Apple Laptop and only a new Apple will do. Not only that but he thinks that I don't understand what he's going through and why he needs a laptop in school. He says he works really hard and sometimes you need to buy things because you deserve them. 

My argument: We have a new house we are fixing up, we're saving up for my maternity leave when I get pregnant, and money is really tight. I just don't see why we are downgrading our grocery budget, getting rid of cable, and getting pay as you go phones, only to splurge on an overpriced laptop. Yes, we have the money in the bank, but why spend it on something we don't technically need? Especially when there's a $300 alternative that will work just fine. 

My H works harder and gives more than anyone I know. He never spends money on himself. And it seems really important to him. Part of me thinks he deserves it. But an equal part of me thinks he's being a selfish brat.  Is this something you would give on? I'm so torn.

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Re: Big purchase for H? I'm torn NTR

  • Only you can decide what's right for your situation, but I know for me and my family, I'd be fine with my h buying the laptop he wants. I contribute WAY less money to our household than he does, and he works his butt off. If he wanted a new laptop, I'd be happy to let him get it.
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  • Given the situation, I agree with you; if he really "needs" a new laptop, get the $300 one from your boss, if it's just that he "wants" a new iMac, then he can wait until all the other priorities have been taken care of
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  • Not something i would give on... It's great he's working so hard, etc. but he sounds like he's acting like a spoiled, entitled child. Sometimes you have to prioritize...

    ETA: And i also wanted to add... I got my DH a refurbished macbook for Christmas for $1,800, and at the time there was a promotional "1-year interest free" thing going on if you got the barclay Visa, so i went that route. That way i could put what i wanted toward it monthly, and then i ended up just paying it off in 4 months. But it was more comfortable to do it that way, and i didn't pay any extra for interest. Just a thought...

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  • What type of degree is he getting?  I will say, laptops are a godsend for grad students.  I felt helpless whenever I had to use the computer lab desktops and didn't have access to the stuff I needed on my laptop. 

    And, Apples do some things way better than PC's do.  Also, if he has a lot of data/projects that are software specific to an Apple, then, yes, he will need an Apple.  But, I do think Apples are over-priced and overrated IMO.  But they still have value in certain applications.

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  • Being a mac person, I would rather not have a laptop than have a $300 pc. 

    Would he settle for a refurbished apple? they sell them in the apple store online and sometimes you can find a 15-20% discount.

    If he never spends money on himself, I can see his point. BUT, I can see your point also - if you are cutting other places to save, it would be hard to spend on a new laptop.

    I would not buy the cheap laptop either way though - IMO you are just throwing $300 away because it will not work as well as your DH wants it too and it won't last as long - you will be spending another $300 to replace it next year anyway.

     

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  • How much would the new Apple laptop be? Yes, I think he is being unreasonable about it. I also think if there is a way to swing it, you should try, based on how hard he works and that he doesn't get anything for himself very often. It might be making him feel like he isn't worth anything new and always gets leftovers. Its something for the two of you to continue discussing (calmly) to see if there is a way to make it work out, and if he cannot help come up with a plan for it, then the laptop from work will have to do. Good luck.

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  • He's going for a duel masters in Licensed Mental Health Counseling and Guidance Counseling. So, he really only needs the basics. And I was in grad school, not that long ago and I got buy just fine with a spiral notebook and bic pen. 

    I guess this really is a question of whether I want to give or not. There's no denying that he's being a spoiled brat and if it were my kid, I would definitely say no. But, is $1,200 really worth probably 5 years of whining?  

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  • Ehh, I see both sides here. The mom/wife side says hell no, and $300 will work great. The former grad student in me says do what works for the student. It would have made life so much harder For me in law school had I not had a laptop I was happy with. I spent more time staring at that thing than anything else. If H really uses it a ton, it might have to be his call...
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  • they have refurbished macbooks on the apple site right now for $850. I say go for that as a compromise, and he needs to stick to not buying himself anything else for a long time. 

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  • If you said he was going to grad school for graphic design etc I would say yes, but based on his degrees this is clearly a want vs. need. He is in grad school with a family, suck it up. I don't understand when so many things became 'needs', yes people love apples and they do have certain great functionality, but they are very pricey. You can say the same things about BMW. If you were saying that he couldn't have a laptop, it would be a different story.

    I will note though that this is coming from a cheap ass.

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  • I think he is being a brat. Unless there is more to the story, you stated he wants a new laptop (new and new to him are equal in my book). You have the ability to get him a "new" laptop that money-wise is more within your budget. He is throwing a stupid temper tantrum because he wants an Apple and only Apple will do and wah f'ing wah wah wah. He wants a laptop and you have given him a viable option. The reasons in your post for your side totally outweigh the reasons you give on his side.

    And besides, I cannot imagine that there isn't a computer lab on the campus (or computers at a public library) that are unable to be utilized for whatever he may need. So in my book his options are: take the refurbished laptop or use a public computer. 

  • imagesolidio:

    Thanks for this. I'll run it by him. I know he'll say no, and argue that the warranty isn't as good. But it's worth a shot. Maybe he'll surprise me. 

     

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  • I buy all my apple products refurbished, and have never had a problem. If he doesn't compromise, then I say he's being childish. good luck!  

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  • I definitely understand the need for a lap top in school. But he does not need a $1200 one. It sounds like he's just being impulsive and bratty. He'll probably regret it after the fact when he sees how tight the budget is in other areas because of it. (he reminds me of my 17 y.o. self begging my mom to buy me a $500 dress for grad, her refusing, me pouting, and now me realizing how stupid it would've been to spend $500 on a h.s. grad dress). Maybe get him the $300 one and a token gift because you recognize his hard work and he deserves something (just not a $1200 something).

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  • We were just in this situation- except it was me and I was willing to hold on to my Dell until it exploded in my face so I could get a Dell. Well, it did explode in my face (basically), sooner than we expected and I am now typing this on a refurbished Mac Air. I drank the Koolaid and nothing but a Mac would do. The refurbed are not so bad, you might want to look into that!
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