TTC After a Loss

AW: my heart is hurting

I don't really know who else understands, I know DH doesnt. I'm alone tonight and glad for it because I'm a crying mess right now. Tomorrow I'd be "half baked". I think that what set this off. I haven't cried in so long. It's also been more than 40 days and still no AF. My OB said if it doesn't happen within the next 3 weeks she will give me meds to start it and put me in BCP to regulate my cycle. I'm so afraid it will come to that. Why did this have to happen? I'm terrified something is wrong or this will happen again. Thanks for listening. 
BFP #1: 12/26/11, EDD 09/05/12; m/c discovered: 02/22/12 @ 12w u/s,
D&C: 03/08/12 Waited for AF for 146 long days!
Hysteroscopy/D&C on July 10th to fix blocked cervix (DX: Cervical Stenosis)
BFP #2 12/8/12, EDD 08/21/13 Our rainbow arrived 08/24/13!
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Re: AW: my heart is hurting

  • I am so sorry. It always sneaks up on you when you least expect it. I hope AF shows her ugly face so that you don't have to take any intervention to get your cycles back on track. I am sending you a big hug. 
    MC 4/09 at 6w2d 
    Rainbow Jude 
    born: 12/31/09
    Pre-E Induction at 36w4d
    11 Day NICU stay due to GBS infection

    TTC#2 10/2010
    M/C: 4/09/11 5w
    CP: 12/26/2011 
    CP: 1/28/2012 
    MMC: 4/16/2012 at 11w2d 
    Ectopic: 6/25/2012 MTX 07/03/12
    CP 11/24/2012 
    Rainbow Violet 
    born: 9/11/13

    All ALers welcome! 
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  • Oh honey!  Big (((hugs)))!  You will be "half baked" again.  I know it seems like it will never happen, but it will!  Take a warm bath, have a glass of wine, and take good care of yourself tonite.
    Natural m/c Oct. 2005

    Dx: balanced translocation and LPD

    TTC since Oct 2011

    BPF 02/19/12, EDD 10/31/12, natural m/c 02/28/12 (4w6d)

    IVF (BCPs starting 10/30/12, ER 11/18/12, 5dt of 1 beautiful, healthy embryo 11/23/12)
    BFP 12/02/12, u/s @ 6w,5d showed 2 HBs! Identical twins!!
    Bed rest from 21w-35w due to short cervix, hospital bed rest from 23w-32w due to PTL
    Our rainbows were born 07/19/13 (36w, 5d)

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  • ((hugs))
    My little boy went to heaven during childbirth Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


    BabyFruit Ticker

    type 1 diabetic for 7 years. Been on the pump for 6 years.
  • I wish I had something to say to make it better. (((hugs)))

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

    TTC#2: IVF booked for April 2015

    Surprise BFP#5 February 19, 2015 EDD: November 2, 2015

    Betas: 10dpo: 10, 14dpo: 77, 17dpo: 270

    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • I am so so sorry you feel this way today. I think you and I were close on dates because I would have been too this week. Unbelievably sad. I am sending T&P that within the next 3 weeks your AF pays a visit and you start to regulate. Hang in there....
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    image <3 Suzyq 
  • the grief comes in waves.... I'm so sorry you've had a rough day.  I hope tomorrow you feel refreshed and stronger.
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  • Big hugs to you.  Sometimes the sadness can sneak up on you.  I always allow myself the time to just let out what I'm feeling.  Sometimes I cry, sometimes I write out my feelings, and sometimes I pray.  But I never hold it in.  It's okay and understandable to feel as you do.

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  • I'm sorry.  I know how you feel...I hope something helps you get over this hump.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP#1 - 11/13/11, Natural MC - 12/24/11 at 12 weeks
    BFP#2 - 10/2/12, Please be our rainbow.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Love ya PK. I'm really sorry you're hurting so bad. I really hope things look up for you soon. Major hugs!
    Cycle 7: BFP 1-17-12, Missed Miscarriage at 8w6d (measured 7w2d, no HB), D&C 2-29-12
    Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I'm really sorry :( I had a rough past few weeks and my cycles have been 40 days since the m/c. I've started therapy because I found no empathy from anybody in person even my husband who is my rock and best friend.

    Allow yourself to feel and deal, over time you will get better and there is hope of a baby miracle!

    Hugs!!! 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • *hugs*

    Here's hoping AF shows soon!! 

    TTC #1 ♥ since 1/11 
    BFP #1 8/21/11 - EDD 5/1/12 - M/C 9/25/11 ♥ BFP #2 11/17/11 - EDD 8/1/12 - C/P 11/20/11
    DH (37) SA = mediocre  Me (31) Low AMH/DOR, Septate Uterus (repaired via Hysteroscopy)
    IUI 1-3 = 3 BFNs ♥ IVF 11/12 = BFFN :( ♥ IUI 4 + Injects 1/13 = BFN :(IUI 5 + Injects = cancelled due to cyst
    BFP #3 - 3/9/13 ♥ EDD 11/21/13 Break cycle miracle! ♥ Stick baby, stick!!  IT'S A GIRL!
    Caitlyn Emma born 11-6-13, 5lb 7.5oz, 18.5in

    ♥ Congrats BFPB HuskyMomma94, David arrived 4/26/12!  And #2 due 3/10/14! ♥
    ♥ Luck and love BFPB siple1am!! ♥

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    My Chart ♥ My Blog  Magic Love!!  ITFB Love!!
    ♥ Everyone Welcome 
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