How to find a good therapist/Inlaws Vacation Update

Re: How to find a good therapist/Inlaws Vacation Update

• Mouseygail member

  April 2012

  oh man..I'm so sorry that it was such a nightmare!!  I was just looking at therapists this morning too, so I'm curious to see what advice people have, but one thing I did see is that there are a bunch of different approaches..and I thought the "Solution based" kind sounds right up my alley...helping me formulate a plan to go out and make changes... 

  from the website I was looking at...

  Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)

  Solution-focused therapy, sometimes called "brief therapy," focuses on what clients would like to achieve through therapy rather than on their troubles or mental health issues. The therapist will help the client envision a desirable future, and then map out the small and large changes necessary for the client to undergo to realize her vision. The therapist will seize on any successes the client experiences, to encourage them to build on their strengths rather than dwell on their problems or limitations.

   

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• MBandBud member

  April 2012

  Finding a therapist is hard!  Is there any place to get recommendations?  PCP?  Local forum online?  Friends you are willing to confide in?  Church office?  I would start there but if you go to one and are not happy then shop around; it takes a lot of energy but is worth it.

  I would decide if you will be going as a couple or individual.  Most therapists won't see you as 'both' b/c if you establish yourself with them they are your advocate and can be seen as biased. 

  I have shared my needs with a therapist on the phone before signing up - that way I could feel them out without all that goes into a first appt.  There is nothing wrong with saying what your situation is (most may ask and if not will appreciate the heads up) and asking for their philosophy.  I would specifically say you are looking for opinions and suggestions and not just an empathetic listener.  You can then see how they reply and how you feel about it.  I approach making the appt almost like a mini-interview.  Nothing wrong with that.

  Insurance might have a list as well, but I presume you are working within the confines of that?  Even if not medical insurance most companies offer employee counseling different than that - or you can combine the two for more appts. 

  Good for you for seeking this out.  It is not easy.  Sometimes a different perspective really goes a long way so I commend you for seeking this out.  It may not change your IL situation but it can help with how you cope.  Hang in there.  ((HUGS))

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• nelli27

  April 2012

  That's great information! Thanks so much! I didn't think of the fact that the therapist wouldn't likely see us separately and as a couple. That's good to know, since I was planning on going for a while on my own since my husband is working around the clock right now.
  
  And Mouseygail, good luck to you in your search as wel!
  

  

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• MBandBud member

  April 2012

  nelli27:

  I didn't think of the fact that the therapist wouldn't likely see us separately and as a couple. That's good to know, since I was planning on going for a while on my own since my husband is working around the clock right now.
  
  

  I thought we would be doing couples counseling as well, but really I found it was my perspective that needed changing.  Our marriage definitely benefited; I was very open about my therapy with DH and also the therapist would provide insights of things for us as a couple.  Start there and see where it goes; often a good therapist can also recommend a couples therapist that he/she refers to for these situations.  Some therapists will agree to having the other spouse there from time to time depending on the situation and their own preference. 

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• BeccaLandes member

  April 2012

  i just want to let you know i have been there- after our family visit to my in-laws last summer, my husband went right into therapy.  it's really tough.

  i agree with using the initial phone call as an interview- you can really tell whether you'll click with someone over the phone.  and let them know you are looking for concrete pointers and not just smile and nod.  good luck. 

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• davidavich

  April 2012

  There are lots of directories of therapists online.  The BEST is Therapick dot com because they have 2-minute video interviews of therapists that you can watch before you pick.  You can also choose by specialty, cost, insurance, zip code.  You can also google "Therapick" or "therapist videos" to find it.

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