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Working Moms
AshleyH0918
member
Freaking out...
AshleyH0918
member
in Working Moms
I have been on maternity leave for the last 10 weeks and I have just 2 weeks left with my DS before I return to work. Before I went on leave I really enjoyed my job but now I am so sad at the thought of leaving my DS. I know I am very lucky that my mom will be watching him while I am at work but I just can't help but start to cry every time I think about work. As much as I would love to be a SAHM I can't because I make more than my husband and we couldn't make it on just his salary. I know deep down that everything will be fine but I keep having this fear that my DS will love my mom more than me - or that he will forget about me while I am gone (I work 5 10 hour days). I know it is silly to think like that but I can't help it! I've also noticed that I get irritated very quickly around my mom now and I know it's because am so jealous of her because she will get to spend more time with my DS than me. I also hate that I might miss my sons firsts. Ok, thanks for letting me vent And any words of encouragement would be great.
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Re: Freaking out...
I was like you - heartbroken when I went back to work after all my babies. The thought is terrible and the first day is hard but it gets easier. I promise.
Try to enjoy these last couple of weeks with your LO. Soon enough you will come to appreciate the "break" that is work and be even more excited to see your LO each day when you get home!
{hugs}
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
I'm not discounting your thoughts and emotions whatsoever but you just described what every working mom is thinking and feeling. It is very hard and you're not the only one. It does get better but it's hard to see that right now. Sometimes you have good days and think - I'm getting used to this! And then you have a bad day and feel like you're at square one again.
Regarding the firsts - it may be more difficult since your Mom is watching him but you could ask her to keep those "firsts" to herself so that when you see them, it will be the first time.
I felt the EXACT same way when I was about to go back to work...except my mom wasn't going to watch DS, I was taking him to a day care center. It was so hard! But the one thing I can say for sure is that the anticipation of going back to work was worse than actually going. Once I was here, it was nice to be here again. I felt like an adult again, I felt like I had a reason to be productive and I liked that I was bringing home a paycheck again. There are DAILY struggles with being a working mom - but overall, I think you will find that you get back into a groove and you enjoy it. Hopefully : )
Oh and your child will NOT love your mom more than you. It's amazing, but it just doesn't happen. I was worried about the same things...DS spends so much time at DC and then DH is a teacher so he spends pretty big blocks of time with him without me there as well. DS still knows who mommy is and that has never wavered.
BFP # 1 - 12/19/09 EDD 08/27/10 - D&C 1/26/10 @ 9w5d
BFP # 2 - 06/05/10 EDD 02/17/11, DS1 born on 2/14/11
BFP # 3 - 04/10/13 EDD 12/21/13 - D&C 05/15/13 @ 8w4d
BFP # 4 - 07/27/13 EDD 04/08/14 - CP 07/29/13
BFP # 5 - 09/14/13 EDD 05/28/14, DS2 born on 5/22/14
I think everything you're feeling is completely normal.
It will all be fine. Really.
I worked 80 hrs/week during my son's first year. He still knew I was his mama. I somehow managed to see all of his firsts, whereas my sis--who is a SAHM--has missed occasional firsts because she went to run errands on the weekend while her DH was home. You just never know when they'll happen.
Enjoy the rest of your ML, and good luck getting back into the swing of things at work. Expect the first few weeks to be challenging. It will get easier.