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Success after IF
Melicakes
member
How did you meet your DH? ( UGH long, sorry)
Melicakes
member
I need a little hope and inspiration ladies.
First,I am so grateful for CC , I love her to absolute bits and I wouldn't change a thing about how she came to be in my life, but I SO wish I had some companionship...
I've been single for what feels like forever ( Real time 3 years) and sometimes I feel like there just isn't anyone out there for me. I'm not big on bars or clubs , but I do go other places, museums, restaurants etc. and I meet no one.
When I meet someone randomly on the street it doesn't pan out either...Last time that happened I thought I met a nice guy and then he stopped calling me when I made it clear I wasn't ready to slep with him ( after only 2 weeks of talking to him! I'm no prude trust me , but seriously I wasn't feeling that vibe yet after a few phone calls).
I have tried on-line...I tried it before CC was born and met a man who must think he is still in his 20's even though he's 45... He just wants to have "fun" (wink, wink)... SIGH.
I just recently tried on-line again. Two weeks ago started emailing with what I thought was a nice guy. Seemed sweet, we had a lot of stuff in common and he made me laugh. He was cute too, bonus! We talked about going out for this past Saturday. In converstions he realized that his train to work pulls into a station that is across the street from where I work. So we had an impromptu meeting and he walked me to my bus stop before he went on to his job. Such a gentleman right? I thought so too.
But then he didn't call me the next day. No biggie, he emailed me and said his phone was acting up. Then he called me Friday asking to postpone til next weekend because he had to work. OK , sure I understand things happen. he said he'd call me Saturday afternoon. No call. Sunday goes by no call. No more emails either...
What am I supposed to think? He saw me in person and it was a deal breaker?
I don't need a man to call me everyday, but he should call when HE said he was going to, no?
Insert sad face here ----> 
Anyway, this got longer than I intended it to... I just want to hear where some of you met your husbands and how things evolved.. maybe it will help me figure out what I am doing wrong.
I know some of you were HS or College sweethearts, that won't happen for me but those stories are still nice to hear.
Thanks for listening and sharing...
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Re: How did you meet your DH? ( UGH long, sorry)
First, hugs. Being single in NYC is HARD, and I can't imagine being a single mom!
I met my DH when I went back to school for my MBA. We actually "met' three times before I remembered having met him before.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
My best friend (although not a mom) is going through the same thing. She just wants to meet a good guy but comes across all these losers. I so badly want her to meet someone!
Anyway, my husband I did meet online. It wasn't an online dating sight but a local chat room. We talked on the phone for about a week before we decided to meet up and the rest is history.
Maybe you should try chat rooms instead of a dating site?
Either way, big hugs. Everyone deserves a companion so don't feel guilty about it!
TTC#2=July 2011: Surprise BFP: Chemical Pregnancy
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
We met online-I had met a couple of other guys on the same site before I met him but those never made it past a few emails/first date.
With DH we emailed/spoke on the phone very regularly for a month before we finally met in person.
We also met online. I was totally uncomfortable wiht the concept of online dating and never even created a profile. I hurt my neck and was stuck in bed for a day feeling sorry for myself. To ease boredom, I surfed a popular online site and saw DH's profile. I thought he looked "cute and fun" so I paid $30 bucks, sent him an email, and thought it wouldn't lead to anything. After about a week of emailing thorugh the site, we emailed off the site (and I sent some pictures) and talked on the phone and I cancelled my membership...We met for drinks one night and that was that! DH still jokes that my pathetic little email was the best thing that happened to him! He was the only person I ever emailed/chatted with!
I know dating is hard (I got married later in life), but maybe just set up an online profile and treat it like a game...If you see an interesting guy, great. If you meet a jerk, then nothing lost! You and CC deserve the best and if this guy doesn't call its his loss
.
At a wedding. Cliche right? It was a wedding I really did not want to go to since did not know many people there except a prior fling gone bad who was there with his new girlfriend and the wedding was 2 hours away. I went because I was friends with the bride and knew it was important to her. DH was friends with the bride from high school and almost did not go because he did not get the invite. It went to his dads house (they have the same name in a small town) but he dies not have much contact with his dad.
I ended up talking to DH and his friends because I really had no one else to talk to. It worked out ok I guess.
At a bar/nightclub... at Foxwoods.
Hang in there... I can only imagine how tough the dating scene is these days. You'll find your keeper.
I met H at work (which is a bar), but I wasn't looking for it - I actually gave up on relationships after my ex-fiance screwed me pretty bad. I spent 3 years single and not looking - just meeting friends and having fun. I focused on me and became happy with all aspects of my life.
ANyway long story short, he was a regular customer of mine for about a year. I knew him, we talked a lot and were friends before ever going out on an "official" date. We then dated for another 2 years before becoming engaged.
I was 30 when I got married.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
When we met, I was 30, DH was 35. We both signed up for eHarmony on a complete whim, and were matched within a month. We started communicating, met, and the rest if history.
That was a long time ago, but at the time, man, we were perfectly matched, and are to this day.
I'm sorry you are having a hard time.
To answer your question I met my husband through a political group. We were both actively involved in politics up until the birth of our daughters. I didn't join to "meet" someone but it was great. We had a wonderful shared interest.
We later learned about several occasional in our past where our paths crossed. Like he attended my high school graduation, even though he wasn't a student at my school, we were at the same bible camp, etc.
I don't know if you are particularly religious or not but our church as a lot of events for singles and young couples. They do a wine and cheese event monthly, have bible study groups, educational opportunities, volunteer groups, major events, etc.
I met DH in college. We dated for just over a year and broke up. I went on to marry and divorce another guy from college.
DH and I reconnected after 15 years via email. He was in Florida and I was in Texas. He suggested we start dating. I told him that it would have to be in Texas since I just moved to Texas for a job (so that I could afford to have a baby on my own) and I had just bought a house. And here we are 3 years later. Not at all what I planned when I moved here.
I met my DH through friends. Basically two friends went to a party and met now BIL. One friend started dating now BIL, one friend started dating BIL's roommate and then I was introduced to DH. We all married within a few months.
I actually had to expand my friend base when my closer friends all married a few years before this. So, I made new friends with some single women and from those friendships I met my DH.
Do you have friends that can set you up with their single friends? I had one single friend for a while (she was divorced so back in the dating pool) and all of my other friends would often ask "is so and so dating? If not, my co-worker is single, maybe they'd like to go on a date". This friend actually went on at least 5 or 6 dates with different people because someone in our extended group thought of her when they met someone datable. Have you let your friends know you are open to a relationship and to keep you in mind when they meet a single guy or hear about a co-workers son that is single?
Keep your chin up. Dating is hard.
We met in a bar. He was in a local band that I liked, and I was a fan. I caught his eye one night and smiled at him and he smiled back from stage, then we struck up a friendship and started dating a few months later, after he & his gf broke up.
I feel your pain... I was 33 at the time and had been single for 6 years prior to meeting DH. I am not one to settle, nor one to be with someone just to be with someone. I'm also very picky, which I think frustrated people in my life who really wanted me to find someone, but I just had no interest in spending time with someone who wasn't "the one." I did have some flings, but they were unfulfilling, to say the least. It was such a relief to finally meet DH.
I'm a musician too, so one big attraction was the fact that we had music in common. Maybe try to get involved in something that interests you...it'd be a good way t omeet people who share that interest.
So, I don't have much other advice, just keep your eyes open and don't try too hard...it'll happen at the right time!
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
Oh, Meli, you sooooo deserve a good man!!!
I'm another one with a story that doesn't help much - my hubby and I met while we were both away at grad school getting our MBAs.
Even though the traditional school environment is out of the question, are there any hobbies or interests that you have that you could take some classes for (painting, photography, etc)? That can be a good way to meet someone in a setting where you know you already have something in common (that isn't a bar). If you're connected at a church you can also look into their singles programs.
we started dating in HS, but broke up to do our own thing while away at college. During my Junior year of college we got back together, both very different people.
I met mine online too. He also flaked out for a bit and didn't contact me. I was like "whatev" and concentrated on a different nice guy I met online
What was actually happening was that he was having a career crisis of sorts and was contemplating moving, so he didn't want to encourage a relationship he wasn't sure would move with him. So, that could be an option with your guy.
I also met some very nice guys through my college alumni group. Our group wasn't active, so I made it so
We did game watching events with other college alum groups in the area, so I was able to grow my pool of "man options" by the events I decided to plan. It was a great way to meet men and women, we had something in common, and the networking with both sexes was valuable too.....Good Luck!
I met MH briefly in high school, he dated my friend. I didn't see much of him, but one night at a bar he came up to me and he remembered me. We've been together since then.
Savannah
Callista
Baby Trail Blog
"Someday we will look at our babies and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our babies, the babies we were meant to have." From Amy052006
Thanks for all the responses,I really appreciate them and liked reading them.
I am a little surprised that so mmany of you met on-line! But I feel more like I must be doing something wrong... But I don't know what it is ? I am honest in my profile about what I am looking for and what I bring to the table and my pictures are current. My profile isn't all business either, there's some humor in it and I throw in some sports related stuff too ( not because I think it'll attract a man but because it's true I like watching & going to certain games)
I am currently on matc.h dot com... for the third time. I had tried E-harmony before and after filling out the longest survey of my life ( I swear it took like 2 hours) it matched me with one, just ONE, man who lived like 5 hours away and then ignored me when I tried to talk to him despite the distance...
My friends all know I am single and looking. Some refuse to do set ups. Others don't want to share ( seriously) and others just aren't around the caliber of man I'd like to meet ( educated and as non ghetto as possible... I really don't think that's to much to ask).
I don't know if church has any singles things but even though I attend church I am not overly religious so not sure if that's a good way to go ?
I hope I am not coming off as desperate. I learned a long time ago ( while I was still married mind you) how to enjoy my own company and do just about anything alone. But man, it'd be nice to do something as simple as reading the paper in bed , or watching a tv show with a special someone.
Lady, I can only imagine how hard that is! Big hugs!!!
DH and I met in college economics class. We had the same last name and were put into a group by alphabetical order.
Because we're fancy like that.
Meeting someone is hard, it's like have a part-time job. And, the situation like you described will happen over and over and over again, either initiated by him or sometimes by you. People just have a hard time saying "hey, you seem nice but I'm not feeling it."
Anyway, I met my husband online. We spoke once or twice online and then met in person. From there it was weird, we dated for a few months and then broke up, got back together a month later only to do the same thing again. I guess the third time was the charm though because once we got back together the third time it was almost smooth sailing from there on out.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
Hugs! It can be so hard to be single but then the added component of having a little one makes it even tougher to make sure you're finding the right person.
I met my husband at graduate school when we both went to get our MBAs. BUT, we did not date at all during grad school. I was actually dating someone else in our program for the duration of school (and a bit after we graduated). He and I broke up and shortly after I started seeing my now-husband. My husband and i were in the same circle of friends but it was a pretty large circle. It's funny how life works so you never know.....the right guy could be someone you've already met.
Ha! I like the way you put this. I also met my DH at work. We still work together 8 years later!
We met at the gym, and had lots of mutual friends from work/co-ed softball, etc. So we were friends for about 5 months, and got to know each other, then started dating.
I know it has to be hard. But sometimes, when you're focusing on other things in your life, BAM...someone good shows up.
I was juggling two other guys (just dates here and there), then out of nowhere, I started crushing on DH. But I didn't want to ruin our friendship or circle of friends. Turns out, it was the same for him with liking me, but not wanting to mess up the friendship.
::hugs::
DH and I are HS sweethearts. We met thru a mutual friend.
Is that a possibility for you? I have been setting up my BIL with friends and friends of friends down here -- he is VERY picky and I think that is what kills him in the long run.
TTC #2 since June '08
~*DD 10.21.07*~
dx unexplained
IUI #1-4 BFN
IVF#1 June 2011 BFN
IVF#2 Dec 2011
Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634
EDD 8/25
*PAIFW/SAIFW*
This exactly. I had fallen in love with DH before I even met him. I remember finally hearing his voice and thinking "Thank God it's not weird!"
We met on E-Harmony. I had gone out with a few matches before DH, and none worked out beyond one or two dates (usually one). I didn't have any terrible experiences, but DH did before he was matched with me. I vote for giving it another shot.
And BTW, that guy is an idiot if he's not interested; I can see your pic in your siggie, and you are clearly adorable! :-)
I'm sorry he's an idiot.
My bff hated my xbf and was afraid that I'd stay in NJ and marry him, even though we had broken up. She had moved back to Seattle and started looking for guys in Seattle or Portland so that I would definitely move back to the PNW. She met my DH on a camping trip through one of her co-workers. She thought he was hilarious and obnoxious and therefore perfect for me.
Plus he was living and working in Portland!
She and the co-worker's gf convinced both me and him to enter into an email relationship with each other. So we emailed each other for 8 months before I moved home. Then we had our first 'blind' date.
I won't say that it wasn't slightly awkward at first, trying to match up the way he wrote with the way he was in person, but after a few weeks I knew he definitely was the one. We were together ever since.
GL! Dating definitely is hard work!
Another online dating success story! We did not use a dating website but instead met through the AOL (yep...back in the day!) profiles. I had just gotten divorced and was looking for friends that were not friends with my ex.
I searched the AOL profiles for other Dental Assistants (which is the field I work in)...never specifying gender or martial status...and his profile popped up because of the word "Dental". (He is a dentist and had listed Temple Dental School on his profile.) It said something about being desperately single, so I IM'd him and told him to enjoy his time being single because someday he would be married to some b!tch who would run his like. LOL! Apparently that was a great opening line and we met up at a DMB concert about a month later and another month after that we went on our first date. We have been together ever since...that was 7 1/2 years ago!
I'm sorry it's so tough to find someone. I met my DH in college, though I didn't think that I would ever find anyone and I never thought I would would WANT to find anyone and get married. So, I'm no help. But 2 of my brothers have me their wives through a set-up, and my other brother met his wife at work. Do you have friends who know someone who would be a good fit for you? Keep trying the online dating thing, I know friends who have met their spouse there.
It'll take some time, but there's someone out there for you!