Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Joka1234
member
Re: Where do you find the time....
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We're struggling with that right now. DH isn't even in the bed with us since it's too small and he has sleep apnea. We've thought about naps but the mood is hard to muster up when it's like, "he just went down for a nap...and...GO!"
I don't even know if I remember how....
DD often goes to bed very late, but it works out well for FIL who watches her. She will wake around 10am and he is at the house.
So if we are both awake when she goes to sleep and not completely exhausted we will try.
We just did a major sleep overhaul here, and it has resulted in more "private time"
LO was nursing all night long too - we tried a number of things, and finally DH is sleeping with her. She doesn't wake up as much, and he can't give her what she wants so she goes back to sleep. I'm hoping to get back in bed with him/them soon. It's taken a month or so, but she has gone from waking every 2 hours to - last night - waking once. I can give you the long story if you are interested.
I want the long story!
We managed to find a lot of time while TTC: Naps, after bedtime, lunch breaks
(we both work FT). We also don't mind going other places than our bed (guest bedroom, couch, LR floor, whatever).
Of course now, all I want to do is go to bed at 8pm so our intimacy has dropped again. But, I guess that's to be expected during 1st tri.
lol - ok.
So I had been wanting to night wean since before the holidays, but LO was sick, then teething, then we were traveling, so the timing wasn't good. By the time we got back home and LO was not teething or sick, she was waking up to nurse or comfort nurse every 1-2 hours. It was exhausting. DH was sleeping on the futon because it was waking him up so much, and I was not getting much sleep at all.
We tried Dr. Gordon's method and LO would just get pissed and freak out and it was worse than just nursing her. We did that for three days with no improvement, so I took a break and just went back to nursing all night long while I read the Ferber book. I have mixed feelings about Ferber - I think it's a tremendously helpful resource, but I don't believe that all sleep associations are bad, and I don't agree that all babies can sleep through the night at 6 months. I believe, based on my limited observation of my own child, that she was not ready until at least a year. She had reverse cycled as well as has a really hard time self soothing and calming herself down before she was a year. Also, up until a year she would sleep in 4 hour chunks, so it wasn't like she was waking every hour. That was a more recent development brought on by teething, sickness and traveling. But I think each baby learns to self soothe similar to learning to walk - some do it early, some do it later. You would never force a baby to learn to walk before they are ready...
Anyway, I did learn a lot from Ferber. I believe my LO was getting nutrition at night but also falling asleep at the breast or with me holding her, and when she woke up she was unable to fall back asleep unless I was holding her or nursing her. AKA her sleep association. I spent a few nights making sure she fell asleep after she got done nursing, but I would still nurse her a few times at night. I was also trying to give her a snack before bedtime. I then transitioned to not nursing her at all during the night, but she was still waking up and wanting me to hold her. It was not working, even though she was not nursing between 10 and 5 she was still waking every 2 hours. This went on for about 2 weeks. So I enlisted DH to help. Now I will nurse her in a rocking chair, then DH takes her, does jammies, reads her a story and puts her in a crib to fall asleep. For the first week she would still wake up and call my name, but fall asleep after she figured out I wasn't there and it was DH.
We also figured out that she was waking up when she peed because of her cloth diaper. She would pee, and then trash around grab her crotch and kick her feet. It kept waking her up. So we switched to disposables on Friday and she hasn't done it since.
Just this weekend she started sleeping in much larger chunks, and last night she slept from 8ish until about 3am, then went right back asleep until 6 when I came in and nursed her.
There was crying involved, but we never actually left her to cry by herself. She does tell DH to "go!" and wants him to leave the room sometimes at bedtime, so he does and just stands by the door. She either goes to sleep or calls him back to do a story. I would love to put her in a toddler bed, but we live in an open space and there is no door to her room, so that will have to wait. We used to bedshare with the crib sidecarred, but now it is shoved against the bed with the side on it.
So that is the big long convoluted story. Whew!
As soon as he goes to bed. It's like a mad dash LOL