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Question on the sadness

alexnyc39alexnyc39 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

First off, I am so sorry to all the ladies on here going through a miscarriage.

Mine was 1 week ago.  Today all the pregnancy symptoms are gone and the bleeding too.  The problem is my mood.  Now I was not very far along (just 6 weeks), when I miscarried and I did not know for sure of the pregnancy until I was admitted to the hospital.

I felt very weak and numb last week.  Today I am just completely depressed and sad.  I assume the hormones are out of whack and causing this?  Any advice on the sadness after a miscarriage.  I feel guilty in a way because of it but know it was not at all my fault.  I also feel badly because I was so early on and many others experience this awful loss later - if it were later, I could see why I would be so sad.

Just confused.  Thank you.

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Re: Question on the sadness

  • MWoodsideMWoodside member

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    Don't feel guilty.  You did nothing to cause this.  And regarding how far along you are I feel like to me as soon as I am pg I have a connection with that baby so I think I still would have been devestated if my loss had occurred earlier.

    It sounds like you are just navigating through the stages of grief.  What you are feeling is normal.  Give yourself time to heal.

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
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  • alexnyc39alexnyc39 member

    Thanks very much MW for your reply.  Made me feel better.  I guess this is normal.  Pretty much have been dealing mostly with denial until now and even today at work I think perhaps I still am pregnant.  (hcg level was still high). But I know the symptoms are gone and know after what I experienced in hospital I can't be.     Yes, time.... That's perhaps all that will work here.   

    Best to you~

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  • krisztina33krisztina33

    Hi there-

    I'm sorry to hear about your loss.  I also miscarried at 6-8 weeks last week.  I don't think any length of time makes it easier/harder.  I am a mess as well.  Sad, angry, confused, and I think ultimately just hormonal.

    I felt "unjustified" in my sadness as well as I know others lose much later on--a pain I can not begin to imagine.  But I also feel like it is important to acknowledge and feel the grief that comes with it.  It's the only way I think I will be able to put it behind me.

    Best of luck in your road to healing.

    TTC #1 since November 2011
    ** BFP #1 - M/C at 6 weeks 4/13/2012 **
    ** BFP #2 - expecting a little leprechaun!! EDD 3/21/13 | HB 7/30/2012 (6w3d) **
    NT Scan 9/4 - looked great! | Grow, baby, grow!!! | A/S 10/29

    ***All AL always welcome***
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  • blush64blush64 member

    I have had a late term loss and a few early losses. The late did feel different but I was still very upset with the others.

    Time will help and remembering that this had nothing to do with you and that it's normal and fine to feel sad. There's no reason to think you shouldn't feel bad because you weren't as far as someone else.

     

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  • senoritaemilysenoritaemily
    I'm sorry for your loss. I had m/c in January at around 5 weeks, and like you I felt like I shouldn't be as sad as I was, because it was so early. DH doesn't really get invested in early pregnancy, for this very reason, so he didn't really understand where I was coming from. I decided I was just going to let the emotions come as they may, and I had about a week of tears. I even broke down in the middle of my workout class one day. I do think hormones play a huge role in this too, so just let everything run its course. After about 2 weeks I felt like I was moving on, but of course its always sad to think about.  
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  • alexnyc39alexnyc39 member

    Thank you all so very much.  You have helped me more than I can express.  I realize now this is all normal how I am feeling.  

    I am so sorry for your losses as well.  I pray for all of us.  To heal and have a happy and healthy pregnancy next time.  I know we will worry too much, but if we can just keep the faith and believe things will be okay.  This next week I am just taking things one day..or one minute at a time.  I feel like this is perpetual bad PMS right now as I want to snap at anyone who comes near me on the street (commuting in NYC..ugh!) or at work.   So yes, a lot is hormonal.

    Thanks so much again and best wishes to everyone here.. Take care.

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