- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 24 Months+
DH doesn't like our pets:(
Before meeting DH and having kids my WHOLE life was dogs and animals in general. From the time I was little I have loved animals, had animals, and worked with animals. Up until recently I worked with animals for my living. I also currenly volunteer for different rescue organizations. We personally have 2 dogs and 2 cats. 1 cat was DH's the others came into the relationship with me. So I'm sure you get the idea.....I LOVE animals.
DH has always put up with my animals and made accomidations, even took some interest in my work with them but it's getting less and less. I understood when we first had kids, it was hard to give the dogs as much attention as we used to. Well DH has taken that and changed tons of rules. He never wants to allow the dogs on the carpet which is where we always hang out, they are no longer allowed in our bed, he complains and complains about taking them running with us or on a family hike, they aren't allowed in the car when the kids are in there even though we have an SUV, he makes comments all the time about how when they are "gone" we aren't getting anymore, he says they are a hassle.
I've talked to him over and over and told him that he's treatment of the animals (mostly the dogs) is really hurting me. I miss my dogs. He just continues on. Today he freaked out because one of the dogs had some dirt on his paw when I let him on the carpet. I cleaned it right away and obviously it was a total accident, I usually wipe their paws when coming in from outside. DH has a bit of cleaning OCD which doesn't help the situation. DH keeps saying if you want to spend time with them then take them out by yourself somewhere. Well, I do sometimes but it's hard and I want them to be part of my day to day life. I really miss it. Honestly, and some may think this is weird, but it's making me think differently of DH. I've tried compromise, I clean constantly and they are well behaved dogs but none of that seems to matter. When I do talk DH into letting them hang out with the family he is huffing and puffing about it the whole time. Luckily, I'm home during the day so when DH is gone I get to enjoy my pets.
I'm not sure how to approach this with DH. Any suggestions? Is this just something that I will have to keep seperate from DH? Thanks for listening to me vent.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DH doesn't like our pets:(
He isn't making you get rid of them.
This isn't worth losing your marriage over. You need to find a way to compromise.
To me, your opportunity to spend all day with your dogs but letting the family have some space from them at night, and DH letting you keep the dogs but not have them there 24x7 seems like a reasonable compromise.
I mean, I get it, you love your pets. But you can't fault him for not having an overwhelming passion for them like you do.
My DH doesn't make any bones about the fact that he's annoyed with our animals and prefer we have none.
BUT. He's also 100% clear - and admits - that he absolutely was a part of the decision to get both our dog and our cat (even though I was the primary driver of the idea) and that the only change in attitude toward them is that they're currently pushing his chaos-and-mess tolerance over his limit since DS adds so much of his own.
From both our standpoints, we have taken on a responsibility to these animals - to care for them and treat them with respect - so we're both on board for taking care of them for the long haul. But we BOTH take care of them, DH just whines about it more.
I have to acknowledge, however, that - as much as I love these animals - his feelings are just as strong. We know we have to find a middle ground somewhere. For instance, we've agreed that after the cat passes away, we're done with cats. As far as the dog goes, I think we'll look into a less energetic and/or smaller breed. Something that will suit our lifestyle better. It's a compromise that we're both giving on, but I'd suggest you try and approach the conversation in this manner. Is he really going to put his foot down and state it's his way or bust? Is he like that on everything?