Daycare Transition to Toddler Room

roselln2 · April 2012

Today Lilian moved from the baby room to the toddler room. She's been spending partial days in there for a month or so to aid in her transition, but today was her first full-day. When I dropped her off this morning, I was talking to the lead teacher about the classroom, schedule, etc., and telling her some things about Lilian/us (how long she has to wear her eyepatch, that I'm not a mom that will freak out if she didn't finish her meal, etc.), blah blah blah.

The teacher showed me the little table where all of them sit together and eat their meals together. It's the tiniest table with wee little chairs. So cute. She has been sitting at a table and small chair in the baby room for her meal, but it's generally been alone since by this point, she was the oldest baby in the class.

Now, that she is among other table-eating peers, I was struck by something the teacher said, and I can't seem to shake it. They serve breakfast and lunch at the daycare. You don't need to bring in food. I have been making Lilian's food since forever. I breastfed her and pumped and then when she started solids, I made all of her food, and sent it in little containers to school. The teacher made a comment about how sometimes the kids that have their meals brought in sometimes have to sit in highchairs to keep them from stealing other food or to keep others from stealing their food.

I don't know if I'm being weird about this, but I don't like that. I want her to learn to sit with her peers and eat her food regardless of what she is being served. I felt like I was being pressured/judged for making her own food. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but I'm generally not the overly sensitive type. I see what the other kids are being served, and I know I'm doing the right thing for Lilian because the school menu seems like all sugars.

Do I say something? I would like to tell her that I want her to eat with her friends and not up away in a highchair.

It certainly didn't help that Lilian started crying this morning as I was on my way out the door, which she rarely if ever does. I know she will be fine, but it tugged at me a bit.

Thanks for letting me get this out.

meechrobi · April 2012

I dont think you are being weird, but I will tell you, I was just at DS school last week for an ice cream social and I watched one child reach over and flat out take a cookie (nilla waffer) off another childs plate and eat it.

I think that it boils down to-- if you are okay with her occasionally stealing food from another child or visa versa, then its not an issue and daycare should abide your wishes for her to sit at the table with the other kids. Not sure what the teacher to child ratio is at your daycare, but ours is 1:5 and I know there is no way those teachers can see everything all the time. Just not possible.

roselln2 · April 2012

meechrobi:
I dont think you are being weird, but I will tell you, I was just at DS school last week for an ice cream social and I watched one child reach over and flat out take a cookie (nilla waffer) off another childs plate and eat it.
I think that it boils down to-- if you are okay with her occasionally stealing food from another child or visa versa, then its not an issue and daycare should abide your wishes for her to sit at the table with the other kids. Not sure what the teacher to child ratio is at your daycare, but ours is 1:5 and I know there is no way those teachers can see everything all the time. Just not possible.

Yeah, I'm fine with that. I know having the school menu won't kill her or anything, and I don't think she's this pristine little human being that will be ruined forever by a little maple syrup. Ha ha! I'm hoping it'll be a learning experience for all of them to eat and keep to their plates. The ratio in their room is 1:4, which isn't all that different from 1:5, so I don't know if I'm being unrealistic to expect them to have to deal with them. It's such a struggle feeling like you don't want to be THAT mom but then thinking about the fact that she's in school for a reason... To learn how to do things, interact with her friends, etc.

I can only imagine what they think of me. Ha! I'm that crazy lady that cloth diapers her kid, didn't start her on solids until 6 months (despite heaps of comments from them to start at 4 months) and is still making her meals for her. What a weirdo I am! :P

dusk42 · April 2012

They probably think that if you bring food for her that you only want her to eat that food and not eat the school food at all. Like an allergy situation. Unless you make it really clear that it is okay for her to start with her own food and then steal whatever she wants (because that is probably what will happen), then the school is doing their best to accommodate your separate menu with the high chairs. I don't think you can expect much learning to "keep to their plates" for a long while. They just don't have that sense of boundaries and the drive to explore is much greater.

There was one kid in DD's class who will try to polish off anything and everything from all the kids' plates if they get up/move away/get distracted. He just likes to eat (and they will offer him more food, but he prefers to sneak it apparently). The best was when he was trying to steal some turkey bacon at breakfast one morning and the teacher was like "N____! You're a vegetarian! You can't have A___'s bacon!"

klaus · April 2012

If it's important to you, I think you should send her food with her but make sure it's things that she can eat independently at the table. If the staff tells you this is a problem, then you can stop or scale back.

I still send a few things in with DS for his breakfast and lunch. He's still in the infant room so everyone is eating in highchairs. I've just let the staff know that he can try everything they are eating but, if he doesn't eat it or doesn't eat enough to supplement with what I send in. I started doing this because I wanted him to have some familiar tastes when he was first transitioning (3 months ago) to daycare. I will likely stop sending in food when he eats their food more often than not. I don't mind him getting exposed to foods that I don't serve at home.

pinkcallalily · April 2012

My thought is they may need to keep her separated because other kids may not be allowed to eat what she has. It may not be a problem for your daughter to take food from other plates, but it may be a problem if another child takes food from your daughter.

I wouldn't like my child to eat away from everyone else either. Maybe you need to talk to them more to figure out what their concerns are or find out if there are specific foods you need to avoid to allow your daughter to eat with the rest of the children.

AimeeL85 · April 2012

I would be bothered too by the thought of DS sitting in a highchair watching all his friends at the table (that was him last month in his cast, because his leg didn't fit in the table seats, no choice in that though).

I also make/send all of DS' food. They do have the option of paying for the school food and I would say about 1/2 the kids do it. What's funny is they say in their handbook that you have to send a healthy lunch, but when DS was in a mood and wouldn't eat what I sent him one day this week, they gave him school lunch - chicken nuggets and fries lol.

From what I have seen and been told at his daycare, they do swipe each others' food all the time. I wouldn't be worried about that unless there was an allergy problem so I would definitely want LO to sit with the others.

AimeeL85 · April 2012

roselln2:
meechrobi:
I dont think you are being weird, but I will tell you, I was just at DS school last week for an ice cream social and I watched one child reach over and flat out take a cookie (nilla waffer) off another childs plate and eat it.
I think that it boils down to-- if you are okay with her occasionally stealing food from another child or visa versa, then its not an issue and daycare should abide your wishes for her to sit at the table with the other kids. Not sure what the teacher to child ratio is at your daycare, but ours is 1:5 and I know there is no way those teachers can see everything all the time. Just not possible.
Yeah, I'm fine with that. I know having the school menu won't kill her or anything, and I don't think she's this pristine little human being that will be ruined forever by a little maple syrup. Ha ha! I'm hoping it'll be a learning experience for all of them to eat and keep to their plates. The ratio in their room is 1:4, which isn't all that different from 1:5, so I don't know if I'm being unrealistic to expect them to have to deal with them. It's such a struggle feeling like you don't want to be THAT mom but then thinking about the fact that she's in school for a reason... To learn how to do things, interact with her friends, etc.
I can only imagine what they think of me. Ha! I'm that crazy lady that cloth diapers her kid, didn't start her on solids until 6 months (despite heaps of comments from them to start at 4 months) and is still making her meals for her. What a weirdo I am! :P

I'm that mom too, so at least you're not alone in your weirdness Our DC turned their nose up at CDing, though

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