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Discouraged...

StasiStasi member
in Natural Birth

I've decided to take an active role in my labor and delivery by signing up for a natural childbirth class (similar to Bradley). It's taught by my DH's co-workers wife and we really like her and her husband who works with my husband.

The sad part - my DH, while agreeing to go to the classes with me - is completely unsupportive and not on board. He doesn't see the point in the classes since I'm more trying for a natural childbirth, but open to meds if need be. His thought is, meds are there and everyone we know has used them...let's just do that and get this over with.

I'm happy that he is willing to go to the classes with me at all, but I'm so discouraged that we aren't on the same page with childbirth. I really just want a supportive partner that can be on the same page with my wants and needs.  

                                                                        
                                                      
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                                   Katherine Quinn | 9.16.2012 | 38w4d

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Ryan Lanman | 9.12.2014 | 40w

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2 Losses | 10/2010 @ 5w | 9/2013 @ 10w4d
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Re: Discouraged...

  • blush64blush64 member

    Don't be discouraged. If your husband is willing to participate in classes I would think that's a good start. Things may change as the classes go on and maybe he'll realize how important this is to you. Tell him that you appreciate that he is taking the classes with you but you really need his support to have the birth experience you want.  I would tell him you understand where he is coming from but it's important for you to attempt this without meds first and you need to know he will be supportive of that. (even if he wouldn't want to do the same thing) My husband told me there is no way he would attempt something like that without meds.

    Other people on this board can probably be a lot more helpful than I am. When there's something my husband and I don't agree on we usually talk and talk and talk until there is some sort of compromise.

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  • HomelessParrotHomelessParrot
    Have your husband watch "The Business of Being Born." It's a great documentary that is very pro-natural/home birth. Also, find educational materials for him on the risks of epidurals, the domino effect of interventions, etc. I agree with PP - the fact that he is willing to go is a good sign.
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  • amber323amber323

    imageHomelessParrot:
    Have your husband watch "The Business of Being Born." It's a great documentary that is very pro-natural/home birth. Also, find educational materials for him on the risks of epidurals, the domino effect of interventions, etc. I agree with PP - the fact that he is willing to go is a good sign.

    This, and maybe Pregnant in America too, although it's a bit of annoying documentary it has some good facts.

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  • SecretAgentKSecretAgentK

    I hear you. My husband is basically refusing to go to childbirth classes with me--he only wants to go to a class to learn how to change a diaper.

     

    Hopefully while taking the class your husband will come to understand your point of view more. My husband did watch the Business of Being Born, as others have recommended, and now he at least tries to understand some of my misgivings about unnecessarily medicating the mother during labor. 

     

    He just doesn't want to have to do anything himself.  

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  • KateLouiseKateLouise member

    My husband had no idea why you would want to go natural when the pain meds are there. To his mind it was like refusing pain relief for a headache (which I frequently do and he never would, but I digress)

    We did a general antenatal course, and they covered pros and cons of various drugs and after that he was completely on board. So you might find with further education your DH is more supportive. 

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  • JWiety030411JWiety030411
    Have you started the classes yet?  My husband and I are about halfway through the Bradley classes and I have seen an amazing change in him and his attitude toward the birth of our child.  The more we learn, the more he is excited about natural childbirth.  Once you start learning all the benefits, and the downsides to a medicated birth, it's really hard NOT to be excited!  My husband started out as more apathetic - kind of a "do whatever you want; I don't have an opinion" type thing.  He has definitely come around.  Hopefully your husband will as well - learning about everything is really fascinating and it would be so hard to ignore all the positives :)  I hope everything goes well for you guys!!
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