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Natural Birth
TrendyTina
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Is childbirth pain all in your head?- HP article
TrendyTina
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https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/alice-grist/is-a-painful-childbirth-a_b_1425807.html
Great article! Sorry, not clicky.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is childbirth pain all in your head?- HP article
I think that being fearful might increase the perception of pain, or reduce a woman's ability to tolerate the pain, but I do not think that going in without fear will magically erase pain.
I never feared the pain of labor while I was pregnant. I knew that it would be what it would be and that I would have the knowledge, support and comfort to get through it. When I went into early labor my contractions were spread 10 minutes apart but would last for 4 minutes. The entire contraction would feel the same (no "wave-like" cresting), which can best be likened to being hit by a truck. I would become totally incapacitated, unable to stand or sit, stuck in position if I hadn't gotten on my hands and knees prior. The pain was horrible, but I maintained a positive attitude the entire time. Active labor started 20 hours later, and after another 24 hours, I was still stuck at 6cm. At that time I was exhausted (up for two nights, starting on the third) and requested an epidural so I could sleep (the contractions had actually become much more manageable, 4 minutes a part, lasting 1 minute). The strange thing was, the moment I asked for the epidural, I gave into the pain. I was no longer able to take it. I went from calm to crazy, and screaming. For the next 20 minutes, as I waited for the epidural, I honestly though I was going to die. My body hadn't changed, the pain hadn't changed, but my ability to handle it had reduced dramatically.
Sorry for the novel, but the sensation and memory is still fresh in my mind almost a year and a half later.
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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I'm pretty sure a third degree tear will cause some pain, regardless of how excited and positive you are about it. I TORE OPEN MY VAGINA.
I'm tired of the goal being "no pain and no drugs" and trying to make me a failure for not achieving that.
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Thanks for posting. I didn't find her article offensive, but it also wasn't particularly enlightened. I think her point - that, "In medicalising birth and creating fear, we have disempowered women to the incredible power of their own bodies." -is legit and true in many many cases. But I also don't believe it's ALL in your head.
I grew up believing that if my mom and sister could each have 4 med-free births, along with millions of women throughout the world and history, then so could I. Sure, some birth "horror" stories worried me, but they didn't terrify me or challenge my belief in myself and my own bodies power. I went into each of my med-free births feeling very confidant and empowered, and NEVER felt that my birth was "taken from me and put in the hands of the professionals", and that includes one birth center birth and one hospital birth. And they both HURT! And my 2nd birth actually hurt more, when I probably felt more confident b/c I knew I had been through it, and survived it, once before.
I dont think the pain is in your head, but I do think that how you PERCEIVE the pain makes a huge difference. Even when it was at its worst, I knew I wouldn't die from the pain and that it was such a powerful experience bringing me closer to LOs arrival. To me, it's worth it, and I love my birth experiences for it.
I went into child birth not afraid and completely prepared. In fact, the only thing I was afraid of was throwing up all over the delivery room. So, pain is not brought on by fear. It's not all in your head. Every woman has a different threshold for pain, and every labor is different. To say it's all in your head is to demean those who had a hard time. Let's see if she's singing the same tune after she delivers.
I am glad she feels prepared and it's a nice idea but I just don't agree with her for the most part. I don't think a positive attitude and lack of fear will erase pain. I did not "give in" to my pain when I had an epidural. I did not "give in" to pressure from anyone and I did not give up my power or control. I choose the epidural. I wanted it and I choose it and my birth experience was exactly what I wanted. It was no less of a birth experience than anyone else and it was nothing to be ashamed of.
I also had a med-free birth. I was no more or less afraid during this birth and it was not better or worse. I guess I appreciate that she feels that way and some people might also feel that way but I think women need to be encouraged to give birth the way they need to. (with pain meds or without)
EDIT The only thing I was afraid of when I was in labour with my first son was an "accident" during the pushing stage. (I had heard it was common for some women to "go" during that part and it's the only thing that really concerned me) I still felt pain worse than anything I had experienced. I never felt I couldn't handle that pain but I will not pretend it didn't happen and I am not worse for having felt it. With my second birth I had no fears but I was still in pain. I choose to have the epidural and I am not sorry for it. I shoud not have to defend that choice because it was my choice, not that of my doctor or anyone else.
So not a great article coming from a FTM who has yet to give birth.
I particularly roll my eyes at all the advice she spews in the comment section.
People need to write about how it's ok for it to hurt. It's ok. Some things in life hurt. This is one of them. You deal, then you move on. It's how sibling happen.
While I think there's something to be said for the 'mind-body connection', I don't think labour is pain-free, no matter how 'zen' you are.
When I was in labour with DD (in China, around nurses who spoke no English) I felt I was losing control. I would start breathing faster and it felt like the pain was increasing. But, when the English midwife came in the room, I relaxed and was able to make it through the contractions and it seemed like the pain was less. Not gone, just more manageable. So yeah, definitely a mind-body connection - but to say that there's no pain is kind of laughable.
Eleanor Noelle - 18/05/12 Claire Elisabeth - 16/-5/10
No kidding. I don't take too kindly to women who haven't been in labour telling me I'm doing it wrong. I actually think that trying to convince women that labour is pain-free does them a disservice. I think that if that's all you have heard, and you go into labour truly believing that, you are going to be completely blindsided and unable to cope when you discover that labour hurts like a mofo after all.
I get what they're saying about fear making pain worse. Like the others above, I have experienced that as well. With DS1, I was "in the zone" and in a positive frame of mind in most of my labour. My husband was blown away with how calm I was- until the decision was made after a couple hours of pushing to get a c-section. As soon as that decision was made, I lost my "I can do this" mindset and it became excrutiating. However, that tells me that prior to that point I was in a positive frame of mind. It still hurt.
With DS2, I was excited for labour. I had had annoying pre-labour symptoms for weeks and was sick of waiting around. When my water broke in the middle of the night just before my due date, I was excited. I waited around for contractions to start, praying that I wouldn't be one of those women who didn't go into labour for hours after having their water breaking. I wasn't; contractions started half an hour later. I had a short, 2-hour labour, and a home waterbirth. The midwife showed up just before the baby was born, well after I had started pushing. I didn't give away control to anyone. I wasn't afraid going into labour- I was happy and relaxed. You know what? It hurt like hell. Worse than the first time around.
I compare that to times when I have been afraid of an event and the pain level experienced. Getting my wisdom teeth removed comes to mind. I was terrified- shaking like a leaf in the chair, nightmares about it for weeks beforehand. Obviously I didn't attempt to forego pain meds, but my biggest fear was that the meds wouldn't work. However, despite that fear, I found the procedure to be very easy, my recovery was so fast and complication-free. I was singing my dentist's praises afterwards because it turned out there was nothing to be afraid of.
I don't believe for a moment that women are to blame for having painful childbirths and that we bring it on ourselves by being afraid, and I find her attitude (especially coming from someone who hasn't experienced childbirth) quite insulting. I don't think that trying to convince women that they won't feel any pain does them any favours.
I didn't read the article and I probably won't. All I need to know is that the author has never before been in labor or given birth. I'd like to read her addendum once she has done so, though.
BFP #2 1/22/2012 ~ DS2 & DD ~ BIRTHday 9/13/2012 ~ unplanned C-section @ 38w1d
Well it seems kind of silly to say pain is all in your head. Of course it is-- pain is perceived in the brain, the same organ where emotions and fears are processed. In my anatomy and physiology class last week we watched a video of people who used hypnosis and meditation to undergo things that would otherwise be excruciating.
That said, it is ludicrous to say that the pain of childbirth is only the result of fear. My natural birth hurt. Holding women up to the standard of pain-free birth and implying it is their own failing if they do not achieve it, is simply unfair.
i haven't read the article, so take my comments with that in mind.
as a hypnotist and a HypnoBirthing instructor, the "fear" that we talk about that leads to pain in childbirth isn't necessarily fear of the labor pain, or the actual birth. there are all kinds of fears that could potentially creep up during labor. in order to be completely relaxed during labor, one must completely let go and give in to one's body and the changes that are taking place. for some people, that can be a very scary thing to do (completely letting go) and can bring up some serious emotions - emotions which, if not checked and released, may cause the body to build up tension, which then causes pain.
In my HypnoBirthing classes, we do an emotion release at the beginning of each class and the 3rd class is a big release done in hypnosis for all fears and negative emotions that may rise to the surface during childbirth.
some examples that are not related to the actual birth include: past history of sexual abuse or assault; emotional or physical trauma; trust issues between partners (mother and father, mother and medical team, etc.); past medical problem where the mother felt her body failed her, etc. These types of issues become blocks to letting go during labor and it is critical that your birthing team know they exist so they can help you work around them, and not do anything that encourages blocks.
granted there are physiological changes that are taking place in the body that by their very nature are painful, the majority of labor (until crowning) - when left to happen on its own, when the mother has removed the social images of pain in childbirth, can be more comfortable. my unmedicated HBAC was no walk in the park, but it was certainly, BY FAR, much more comfortable and much less painful than the unmedicated 40hrs of labor i had with my first, which ended in c/s. i credit this to the work i did in preparing - releasing negative emotions and fears.
i think we jump too quickly to say that something is blaming the mother for the way things are. no one is saying that it's her fault for having fears or negative emotions. we all have them. knowledge, however, is our power here. knowing how the body works, how the brain responds to stimuli and creates feelings of pain and how we can intercept that process by eliminating fears and negative emotions, thereby reducing tension in the body and the pain that is produced as a result may help us have better, more comfortable, more enjoyable birthing experiences.
I agree with this, but didn't read the article as judgement at all. She just seemed to be a FTM who's excited for her Hypnobirth experience, and is exploring some ideas. I didn't consider her to be condemning at all of women who claim childbirth is painful, as she herself acknowledged she hasn't yet been through it and doesn't know.
As you said, it does women a disservice to convince them labor is pain-free, but it also does women a disservice to only tell 'horror stories' and convince them they can't do it drug free, which I think was kinda her point.
I didnt read the article but this kind of thing really bothers me. With my first pregnancy, I don't think anyone ever leveled with me - meaning, I either heard "it's impossible to do it without meds" or "natural childbirth is the most peaceful, beautiful, sublime thing you can experience."
So, of course I'm thinking something is wrong when all my Bradley tips aren't working and I'm crying and moaning in pain during labor. It made me feel like a failure and scared me because surely I was doing something wrong to feel so much pain.
It's unfortunate so many people continue to provide unrealistic views and expectations on both sides of the issue.
SAHM to two sweet girls, both born at home; Baby #3 in 2013!
All of this!! Just substitute my fear of pooping while pushing for the throwing up part.
I agree with this very much! A woman should not have to feel like a failure if she experiences pain during med-free childbirth and she should not feel like a failure if she does decide to go with meds. Women can do it without medication but whether or not they decide to should be up to them, without judgement coming from anywhere.
Ditto. I didn't even tear, but my labor was basically a 3 hour contraction thanks to the doctor artificially breaking my water (without permission). And yeah, that hurt. It wasn't in my head.
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The thing that doesn't sit well with me in discussions about pain and birth is, is pain always a bad thing? My birth was painful, but that didn't mean it was scary or bad or inferior to the birth of someone who experienced no pain. The pain was entirely different than pain from say, an injury or a surgery, or something inflicted upon me by an external source. I thought the pain helped me figure out better positions to labor in, and also gave me a clue to how my labor was progressing.
I didn't feel scared, but I still experienced pain. I thought it was an extremely intense experience, and especially now that I am far removed from it (ha!), I can see how the pain was helpful.
Excellent points. ITA.
I think it is for many women -- not the women on this board, who by and large are committed to med-free birth, but the (vast majority of) women who aren't convinced of the benefits of avoiding an epidural. The ones who ask, "Why would you choose to feel that pain when you don't have to?"
I don't think that they understand the subtleties of your point (which I agree with) that the "pain" (your word) or "intensity" (mine) of labor is completely different from the pain of an injury or surgery. Pain means pain. That's why I don't call my labors painful, because they weren't. Nor do I say they were like sitting on the couch watching TV, because they weren't that, either.
Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)