a mini setback/feeling frustrated

abvernon · April 2012

Forgive b/c this may be a long one (and I have had a couple blood marys in me!)

DH and I talked yesterday and we are pushing back the IUI until late summer/early fall (September-our anniversary?!?). I am sad b/c we had a setback b/c DH had some dental work that made us use most of the FSA. We still have some but not enough to cover an IUI so we will be doing 50% FSA/50% OOP. I am frustrated b/c (a) I have not lost the weight I hoped to by the time and

(b) DH ALWAYS says-"well it is up to you what you want to do." Ugh. I want some INPUT damnit. Tell me how you feel, is it worth, do we go straight to IVF?! I got p!ssed at him as I told him he uses this line as a copout. Then he tells me, "well you are always emotional when you take these meds." Noshitsherlock. Maybe he just does not understand as all he has to do is drop off his stuff and that is it?! It is just frustrating he doe not have more to say. Yes, I am aware I go through 90% of this, but he is the half of this equation! Stick out tongue . I need his support.

Sorry, I just had to get that out. I am not sure the point of this post? I love him dearly but sometimes I want to scream.

Am I the only one who goes through this?

LaLe09 · April 2012

I always tell DH I want input too!! He's like - well it's your body and you are the one really going through it. True. But I'd really like for him to be a little more involved here. I feel like I do it all myself and he shoes up on ER day. I think part of it is just him feeling helpless and guilty about the whole thing. But it would still be nice to have more support- so I hear ya!

I feel your frustration on waiting so long. We are thinking of doing a September IVF. That will be one year since our last cycle. I had a hard time with the wait at first, but emotionally I think it's been really good for me.

Hang in there! Hope you and DH can get back on the same page.

theworms · April 2012

they just don't get it cutie.

((HUGS))

sorry for the delay.

abvernon · April 2012

Thanks! I think you are right-feeling a helpless and guilty (since we are MFI and DOR).

I know he supports me but when he has limited input, he feel like he does not support me, KWIM?

I think we talk again but it got emotional for the both of us so I am sure we will end up on the same page.

abvernon · April 2012

theworms:
they just don't get it cutie.

((HUGS))

sorry for the delay.

Thank you. I think the delay is a blessing in disguise. After my breakdown after our last failed IUI in October, I feel I am not mental ready yet.

How are you doing?!?

theworms · April 2012

abvernon:
theworms:

they just don't get it cutie.

((HUGS))

sorry for the delay.

Thank you. I think the delay is a blessing in disguise. After my breakdown after our last failed IUI in October, I feel I am not mental ready yet.

How are you doing?!?

i'm good cutie, grateful for everyday.

if you're not ready then a break is a good thing. ((HUGS))

Mrkyrain · April 2012

I think we have all felt like this at one time or another. I think men just process things differently and they don't know what to say so they end up playing it like "whatever" which is infuriating. Hang in there.

AmCheri · April 2012

So sorry about your delay and your husband's responsiveness. Sometimes I think that my husband gives the "whatever you want" pat answer because ultimately he's all in for whatever I want to do. So he can't really articulate a specific opinion because his opinion is my opinion. Makes no sense to me (speaking as someone who has an opinion about everything), but it seems to be the way he works. That said, your hubby loses me at the "you're always so emotional" part. Wrong answer! lol. Sorry you're having a rough time. I hope this break is good for you and puts you in a better place to cycle again.

NMscubagirl · April 2012

I HATE the whatever you want answers because this shouldn't be about what I want it should be about what WE want. I think guys just don't know how to handle these kinds of situations so they act like deer in headlights. Good thing they have strong brave and wonderful women like us to steer them in the right direction!

jlcrane78 · April 2012

I totally get that. DH seems so hands off in the process sometimes, and yeah I would love a little more input from him. It's a hard thing to make decisions alone. Especially decisions about our family. *hugs*

reb259 · April 2012

I know how you feel. I literally made DH make the decision whether we do another DE cycle or not. I told him I was done and if he feels differently he needs to speak now of forever hold... he said he wants to do another cycle.

Hang in there, it seems like it is never easy. We are here for you!!

abvernon · April 2012

Thank you ladies!!

I know we will get through this. I guess men are just not as talkative/open as we are, eh?

vanessagorc · April 2012

I hear u, i make every decision around here. Usually im ok w it bc i like to be in charge...but sometimes input is nice.

GL moving forward!!!!

mdluv21 · April 2012

abvernon:
Thank you ladies!!
I know we will get through this. I guess men are just not as talkative/open as we are, eh?

Sorry, hon my DH is the same way, it is always well what do you want to do...which I guess is nice but some input would be nice too.

This made me chuckle though because Dr. Z always says Eh? to everything which made me think of him when you said this. :-)

mdluv21 · April 2012

abvernon:
Thank you ladies!!
I know we will get through this. I guess men are just not as talkative/open as we are, eh?

Sorry, hon my DH is the same way, it is always well what do you want to do...which I guess is nice but some input would be nice too.

This made me chuckle though because Dr. Z always says Eh? to everything which made me think of him when you said this. :-)

abvernon · April 2012

mdluv21:
abvernon:
Thank you ladies!!
I know we will get through this. I guess men are just not as talkative/open as we are, eh?
Sorry, hon my DH is the same way, it is always well what do you want to do...which I guess is nice but some input would be nice too.
This made me chuckle though because Dr. Z always says Eh? to everything which made me think of him when you said this. :-)

HA! I think I have been watching Stick out tongue too much hockey as I have been saying eh? alot this past weekend.

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