Doula or No Doula?

ShanaRoxy · April 2012

We are planning for an un-medicated childbirth experience for our first baby. My goal is to labor at home as much as I can and then deliver at the hopsital with the help of my midwife. Unfortunately, my midwife does not do home births (and my insurance wont pay for one anyway) but with her guidance and the information we learn from our upcoming Bradley Classes, I think we sould be okay. However, I cant help to wonder if my DH will freak out the moment he sees me in pain along withme freaking out because he is freaking out, which could make this tricky and prehaps having a Doula there could ease a little bit of the stress.

My question is, especially for those who have had an unmedicated-natural delivery, did you have a doula? How was your experience? If you didn't, did you wish you did?

annabelle.27 · April 2012

I didn't have one for either of my births (one hospital, one home) and I didn't feel the need. My husband was the only support I wanted and he did an excellent job. However, I am a very private person and I was very adamant that I didn't want anyone present who didn't need to be there, so I couldn't imagine having a doula there when the midwives were there already. (during my second pregnancy my midwife said that she had been contacted by a photographer hoping to branch into birth photography who was offering to attend a few births for free to gain experience and build her portfolio. I remember gaping at my midwife, wondering why on earth anyone would want such a thing- I couldn't picture having an extra person there, with a camera no less.)

FinallyMrsBMW · April 2012

I would HIGHLY recommend a doula especially if you are going unmedicated for your first. My doula helped guide my husband and help him remember what he had learned. She helped to encourage me when I didn't think I could do it. She also took pictures that are priceless for me today.

ShanaRoxy · April 2012

Thank you ladies! The more I think about it, the more I think this may be a good option for us. I'll keep you posted!

TrendyTina · April 2012

We haven't delivered yet, but I will also will also be delivering in the hospital. My hospital has a c-section rate of 42% and certain members of my practice are not the most supportive or natural birthing practices (The MWs are, just not the OBs). The only way I could bring myself to feel comfortable and confident about birthing in a hospital was to have a doula. I know when the time comes, she will provide the support I need and help me advocate for the want I want and deserve. Def worth the $600 investment IMO.

Temp76535187505890 · April 2012

I had a medicated birth with my first despite wanting to go med-free so with #2 I was adamant that I have a doula. In retrospect, I learned so much from my first birth and a really fabulous birth education class we took that I didn't end up needing my doula at all. However, I'm glad I had one and didn't need her rather than needing her and not having one.

flyer23 · April 2012

ArmyQM:
I had a medicated birth with my first despite wanting to go med-free so with #2 I was adamant that I have a doula. In retrospect, I learned so much from my first birth and a really fabulous birth education class we took that I didn't end up needing my doula at all. However, I'm glad I had one and didn't need her rather than needing her and not having one.

This is how I feel about it!

With DD, my doula was an absolute lifesaver. I had a normal, healthy, low-risk pregnancy, but ended up being induced at 42 weeks. It was about 23 hours from Cervidil insertion to baby being born. DH would've collapsed from exhaustion if it weren't for our doula's assistance.

With DS, again, normal, healthy, low-risk pregnancy. This time, labor was much shorter (about four hours of true "active" labor, including pushing) and we would've been fine without our doula. But she was such a wonderful presence that we've hired her again for this birth Smile You just never know...

And DS was born at home and we're planning homebirth for this one, too. If we were having a hospital birth, a doula would be a non-negotiable. So much is dependent on your nurse, even great hospitals can have lousy nurses, and you don't get to pick your nurse ahead of time!

alice2Bcheshire · April 2012

I didn't have one and I didn't miss having one. DH was all the support I needed, and even then, his biggest task was to hold the portable fan pointed directly at my face b/c I was HOT. I really preferred to be in my own little world while I was laboring. GL!

maddiemoon43 · April 2012

alice2Bcheshire:
I didn't have one and I didn't miss having one. DH was all the support I needed, and even then, his biggest task was to hold the portable fan pointed directly at my face b/c I was HOT. I really preferred to be in my own little world while I was laboring. GL!

Exactly this. The only reason I even brought it up to DH once (who wasn't in favor) was I felt like I was setting myself up for failure if I didn't have one by how adement/gushing people on here can be about needing one...but I guess I am the same way IRL about how amazing my MW team was. My MWs aren't associated with the hospital, though they have "privileges." I delivered at the hospital with my MW, MW student (who did it ALL!), and my amazing DH. The only hospital staff I had contact with was at the admitting desk. I might feel differently if I had to follow hospital guidelines and some of that BS, but I felt like DH and I were in control. DH's only complaint was that I wouldn't let him go pee for the 2+ hours I was pushing. Suck it up, honey. Stick out tongue I wouldn't have felt differently about needing him right there if I had had a doula anyhow. I wanted DH and that's that. I am happy I stuck with my instinct that we didn't need one, but that doesn't mean that someone who has a gut feeling they DO want one shouldn't pursue it.

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