Difficult dynamics with one parent...
I don't usually post here but wanted to ask...
Do any of your kids have a tough time with one parent? DS is pretty obedient and pleasant when he is around just me, but whenever DH is around, DS is pretty explosive. He almost always has a huge meltdown if he goes anywhere with just DH. DS and I are, and have always been very close and I SAH with him and his sister. DS is definitely a mini DH, so I wonder if it's just a clash because they are so similar? Anyway...we are at a loss as to how to improve their relationship. DH follows my discipline lead as closely as he can and he regularly tries to get DS to do fun stuff with just the two of them. But it has ALWAYS been like this. Do you think he will outgrow it? It's no big deal for him to be closer with me, as kids go through phases like that, but the defiance and tantrums are not ok. It seems like we are in a vicious cycle though and it's such a drag when DS acts up all weekend and DH has to spend so much time disciplining. Some weekends DH will step back and let me handle most things if it's been a rough day already, but that obviously gets us nowhere in the long run. Any tips?
Re: Difficult dynamics with one parent...
I don't really have specific advice, but my DD acts differently when she's around me versus around DH. She behaves really well with him, but he is much stricter than me. She pushes more boundaries with me, but we are with each other all day everyday. DD also went through a stage where she didn't care for DH at all, and wanted me for everything. Now she wants him all the time. It could be just a phase.
Could he be embarrassed? Like when he gets in trouble with daddy and then it escalates?
We have issues honestly. Miriam our nanny spends 40-45 hrs with us a week. I work from home so I'm constant with them as well. We have a really really tight ship and a symbiotic energy. Dad who works significantly more and has a very frenetic energy sometimes comes in and the kids go crazy. Like your child, Harm and Rachel, are Daddy clones. It is really difficult b/c the 3 clash. One thing we have been trying to do is give Daddy a day where he does errands with him, take them to a museum, lunch, etc. They need to get their own energy going. Also DH and I are working on being more united at home. He is trying not come into the room and just toss the kids in the air. We are working hard on scheduling more the time when we are home together and making it is very structured.
HTH. Francisca.