Success after IF

s/o mommy guilt

I work at a ballpark and a concert venue. I decided to go back for one more season because my mom agreed to watch the girls. I struggled when I first started back but I'm handling it better. Until now. 

Opening night at the ballpark is tonight. Even though I normally work 9-5, I have to stay for the whole event tonight. I will go home briefly at dinner time but will miss bedtime. I have never missed their bedtime. I feel guilty (even though I know they won't remember) and I am very sad (because I don't want to miss it). 

Am I being silly?  Is it horrible that I'm missing bedtime?  I already cried about it last night and am close to tears today.  

Thanks for any advice.  

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Re: s/o mommy guilt

  • I don't think you're horrible for missing bedtime, especially if it is for work not for fun. I also don't think you're being silly. At all. A month ago I had to stay at work later for a function but was pretty sure I'd make it in time for the bath and bed time routine.

    When I left work and walked to the bus stop I saw the bus pull away from the stop and ran like a lunatic screaming after it. I missed it anyway and panicked about what that meant for getting home on time after a brief moment of tears my crazy azz jumped in a cab and said follow that bus !

    I totally celebrated when I beat the bus to the next stop AND made it home in time for bath and bedtime.

    Hugs mama, hopefully you won't have to miss to many other bedtimes :)

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  • I certainly wouldn't say it is silly because I know that a lot of people feel like that.  It is not horrible that you are missing bedtime.  

    Nothing to feel bad about, they'll have a great time with dad/grandma, just remember it is much harder on you than them.  I promise they don't feel abandoned. 

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  • I always hate missing bed time. Always. It's hard and can get harder when they notice and ask for you when you're not there. But, you will be back again tomorrow, and they will not remember, and taking time for yourself whether it's work (not ideal) or a night with friends or your DH (ideal) is important. And missing bedtime occasionally is not only ok, it's totally normal.

    (((hugs)))

  • I suffer from working mom guilt and I think it has lead to some bad sleeping habits for Jack.  I tend to let him stay up later with us in the evenings than he probably should.  It doesn't affect him so much since he gets to sleep in, but I don't get as much sleep as I should.  I feel like I don't get much time with him because I work.

    So I feel your pain.

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  • I don't think you're being silly, I hate it when I have a late meeting and need to miss seeing G....but it is a reality that sometimes it is going to happen. And, it is probably a good thing to get them used to someone else putting them to bed on occasion.

     

    They will be fine and so will you.  In time these types of things will get easier (and sometimes be harder since as they get older they will actually know when you are not there) but in the long run, I think it is healthy to get out without them and let them learn the flexibility of being cared for by someone else too.  Eventually you are going to need someone else to handle bedtime for something fun....like a date ; ) Hang in there and enjoy opening day!

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  • imagedesabean:

    I don't think you're being silly, I hate it when I have a late meeting and need to miss seeing G....but it is a reality that sometimes it is going to happen. And, it is probably a good thing to get them used to someone else putting them to bed on occasion.

    Ditto this. It's not silly. And it's tough to miss bedtime for the first time. Even at nearly 3, I still don't like missing bedtime. But if I'm honest with myself, I wish I had been better about it earlier on, because E is a bear for anyone else putting her to bed, even DH!

    Have your DH send you a text update or photo if you'll have your phone with you - that way you can reassure yourself that your LOs are OK!

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  • Don't feel guilty, Momma!  Opening Day sounds like so much fun!!
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  • I feel your pain.  This week I had my first "working late" scenario that impacted bedtime and I was a crazy lady.  I actually didn't intend to miss bedtime.  I left the office at 5:15 and normally have an hour commute, but there was an accident that closed the highway and it took me well over 2 hours to get home.  So I sat in my car sobbing hysterically.  To make matters worse, my cell was dead so I couldn't even call to say goodnight.  You may have thought my world was coming to an end if you saw me in the car crying like that!

    Some days its hard to be a working mom, but like everyone said, its harder on us than the kiddos!

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  • You are not being silly!  I'm just now, like in the last couple of weeks, sharing bedtime with DH more.  I love having those last few minutes alone with him! 

    That being said, they will be FINE with your DH...try not to stress!  

  • Thanks everyone for the responses!  I am feeling better about it. DH and I always do bedtime routine together so they probably won't even notice my absence. I think I'll try to call when he is reading to them and see if he can put me on speakerphone. 
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  • CMM05CMM05 member

    You've never missed bedtime???? I have missed bedtime more times than I can even keep track of (with all 3 of my kids!)!

    They will be fine! Go and don't worry about it! 


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