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Help me please! What else could be the cause..?

SingingmamaSingingmama
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

Ok ladies, my typical, sweet, loving, easy going 2 year old, has been replaced with a whiney, crying, screaming, tantrum throwing, hitting, kicking and biting mean 2 year old. She's never been a huge morning person, but for the past week, I can barely get her dressed and out the door on time because I'm having to stop every 2 minutes to calm her down, redirect her, give her a "time in" or be firm with her that we do indeed have to get dressed for school. By the time we walk out of the house, I'm extremely frustrated, so is DD and the drive to school/work isn't any more pleasant than the fight to get ready. She's slightly better in the afternoon, but she's still whiney, defiant and tantrums very easily. She's getting enough sleep, she doesn't seem to have any teeth coming in (I've been looking for her 2 year old molars, but I can't see or feel anything) and nothing else in our life/situation has changed. I thought maybe I was just being sensitive to normal 2 year old behavior, but this morning her teacher mentioned to me that she's been seeing similar behavior in DD and that it's a bit above normal for a 2 year old, especially at school.

Also, she's been biting herself when she gets upset (which is better than biting others, I guess) and yesterday she came home with 3 prominent bite marks on her arm, with one of them actually showing some bruising this morning. Her teacher and I are working together to figure out both the cause and the solution for the behavior, but I wondered if any of y'all have any advice. So far, I've learned that she responds well to time ins, which is actually an attachment parenting technique that I picked up from a friend. If I can catch her before she gets to worked up, I can pull her in for a hug, cuddle and speak calmly to her and she'll calm down. The only issue is that she gets worked up again, almost as soon as I attempt to gently break the hug to continue with getting her dressed, playing, etc. I've also been reminding her that her big girl voice will get her what she wants/needs a lot faster than a whiney voice. So, when she says something or asks for something in a whiney voice, I'll remind her to use her big girl voice. This actually finally seemed to click with her this morning and I was able to help her find the words to express what she needed/wanted without whining.

Any other ideas, advice, consolation, get over its, etc.? TIA

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Re: Help me please! What else could be the cause..?

  • Jillibean85Jillibean85
    Too long to read it all, but sounds like the typical "terrible 2" behavior... Testing boundaries, being defiant, etc.... Just keep trying to be patient (and keep your sanity), and take it a day at a time.
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  • FrickandFrackFrickandFrack member

    imageJillibean85:
    Too long to read it all, but sounds like the typical "terrible 2" behavior... Testing boundaries, being defiant, etc.... Just keep trying to be patient (and keep your sanity), and take it a day at a time.

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  • kms34kms34 member
    DItto PP.  It seems pretty typical.  I would, however, question if she really is getting enough sleep.  My DS went from going to bed at 7:45 to going to bed at 7 (sometimes earlier) around that time.  He was just so tired at the end of the day.  He napped really well too.  THere's a lot going on at that age both physically and emotionally.  Her sleep habits warrant another look, IMO.
    * DS1...allergic to dairy, peanuts, eggs and turkey *
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  • KpsbabyzoeKpsbabyzoe

    imagekms34:
    DItto PP.  It seems pretty typical.  I would, however, question if she really is getting enough sleep.  My DS went from going to bed at 7:45 to going to bed at 7 (sometimes earlier) around that time.  He was just so tired at the end of the day.  He napped really well too.  THere's a lot going on at that age both physically and emotionally.  Her sleep habits warrant another look, IMO.

    All of this. Typical for the age, and I would be sure that she's getting enough sleep.  My DD gets like this when she's way over tired, or when she first wakes up from a nap and didn't sleep long enough.

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  • mojito14mojito14

    I'm not so sure what "typical" is, because we never went through that with DS1. He would have his bad days, but nothing like you described.

    I'm more in the camp of making sure she has enough sleep and she may be getting her two year molars as well.

    Sleep has always been a big factor in my kids lives. It's proof (with us anyway) that if they get enough sleep, they are so much better behaved.

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  • MyaMaternityMyaMaternity member
    As frustrating as it sounds it is probably just the terrible twos.  My son has started behaving terrible lately and I think it is just his age.  It can be very stressful but just do the best you can to distract and show your love.  It will soon pass.
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  • memali26memali26 member

    I'm also going to go with it's normal. She's at an age where she's starting to be able to communicate with words, but still doesn't have the vocabulary to express exactly what she's thinking/wants/needs, and that is incredibly frustrating for them. She's also still lacking the self-control to stop herself from pitching a tantrum when she's angry or frustrated, and if she's not getting enough sleep that would compound the problem. So I would take a good look at when and how long she's sleeping, maybe make some adjustments and see if that helps. 

    Also, even if you can't see or feel the teeth, she could be getting 2 year molars. DD1's took forever to come in and she was a tantrumy mess a lot of that time. 

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  • AsquaredAsquared member
    I know how you feel- I'm in the middle of the "I want to control things myself" phase and it's just about driving me insane.  
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  • SingingmamaSingingmama
    Thanks for the advice everyone! I can't imagine it's a sleep issue, since DD gets 11.5 hours of sleep on average. She goes to bed at 7PM and I wake her up at 6:15 AM, which is what time I have to get her up to get to daycare/work on time. She then naps for 1.5-2 hours at daycare, occasionally 3 hours on the weekends. I keep thinking it's probably the molars, but I don't like giving her Motrin/Tylenol unless it's truly needed. I guess we'll just keep persevering and hope for the best. It's nice to know I'm not alone!
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  • sarahns80sarahns80 member
    Could she be sick? My DD is soo much more difficult when she has a cold. Otherwise testing limits is normal at this age and this too shall pass is what I tell myself. 
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