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3rd Trimester
I am so freakin frustrated with my husband UGH!!!
I am so sick of him. I thought that he would atleast help out more. He says he will and he never does. I have tons of laundry to do. I clean the kitchen and then I go to bed. The next morning I wake up EVERYTHING is messed up. Pots and pans dirty with food in them.....like 10 plates...Its seriously looks like he threw a party while I was in bed. I am so frustrated. His side of the bed (on th floor) is awful...cups plates....I dont even look on that side anymore. I mean, It wasnt that bad when we lived in a much smaller place...but now that we live in a larger home...it is CRAZY. I cant take it. I have explained it to him...and when the baby gets here I can see me doing EVERYTHING. We both work, but after the baby gets here I will be working for another company at home starting this fall. I dont know how I am going to handle it.
I didnt sleep at all last night because of allergies. He did sleep. I work today. he is off. HIS family is coming from Philly tonight. I have major cleaning to do...because they always look at the wife when it comes to housework...NEVER the husband.
The dumbest part of it all....I just called him...and he was sleeping. I am fighting to stay awake right now, and my body is just sore, I cant breathe...I am itchy...ugh and I REALLY dont want to be bothered by anyone tonight. I think after I clean I am going to take a nice shower...and go to bed. When his family gets here...He can deal with them. They are coming because of my MIL's 50th surprise bday party tomorrow. I def need to rest up for that.
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Re: I am so freakin frustrated with my husband UGH!!!
Keep the fire of anger going, see if you can get out of work early, go home and unleash your temper on your husband (especially nice if he is sleeping when you get home), kick him and his dirty dishes out of the bedroom, lock yourself in, take a nice long shower using all of your beauty products, and then take a nice long nap. Tell him in no uncertian terms that HIS family is coming and he can clean up. Tell him you are tired, achey, itchy and in rotten mood. And if he doesn't clean up, tell the IL's that you have been feeling really terrible lately, you asked him if he would clean up, and he refused. That will make him look like a jerk lol and take the pressure off of you.
Who cares what his family thinks - i would tell them he was off all day and did nothing.. I would tell him as well that it is his family and if he wanted the house clean he could do it himself. Guys don't want to clean, but they seem to do it when the must, it's def not a choice for them!
Most important that you take care of your self - as for you going to bed when they get there.. i think that is a great idea, i would say hello, and slip off to bed. Tomorrow will be enough to deal with it sounds like that you don't have to deal with the B.S. tonight as well!
If you can stand it start with only doing your laundry...when he runs out of clean clothes and you tell him he can do them, then he might start to see you clearer.
My DH is kinda of a slob (and I tell him so) mostly int eh kitchen and jsut leaving stuff or if I put soemthing on the stairs to go tot the back he walks right by it.
I make a point of calling him out on all of it...then when he says i am nagging i say, pay attention and I won't nag, help like you say and I won't nag. We now have a rule that immediately after dinner, dishes have to be done. If the dish washer is full it has to be emptied before we can do anything else.
I have told him for the past two years that I will be cleaning up after myself and a baby, I am not your mother you need to clean up after yourself. BTW I als blame his mom for not making him keep his room clean. He has gotten better, but there is still work to be done.
If I were you I would call him (wake hime up) and say it is your family you clean the house. If it is messy when your family comes I with throw you under the bus and say it is your fault for messing up the house all the time.
My husband walks by stuff too. His mom babied him. He is the baby...and she was on bedrest the WHOLE time she was pregnant with him...so he is her "baby" They even told him that the only way he could get his drivers license was to keep his room clean or 30 days. He didnt get his license til he was 19 and he only got it then because they needed him to. NOT because he kept his room clean. IF I EVER have a son...I will train him....train him hard. The crazy part is...His dad is OCD like me lol....everything has to be clean...when I go over my inlaws house he is cleaning and reorganizing...always....unfortunately that trait skipped all three of his children. LOL mainly because he was always working and traveling and mom was home with them.
Ditto. You're the one that's prego, and this may knock some sense into him!
My husband doesnt care. He lets any body in no matter how the house looks. I am at the point right now where I want to actually go visit my grandma....2 hours AWAY! lol I cant stand him right now. and he looks at me like suck it up....what????
Are you sure your talking about your DH and not a kid! I would kill my husband if he acted that way. I am lucky I can go to my MIL and talk to her and she will put him in his place when need be.
I can call DH and tell him I need him to sweep, do dishes, etc and he will do it. However I wont let him touch the laundry.
I agree do your laundry and leave his. Clean your side of th room and leave his. When its time for dinner cook for yourself and let him fend for himself. When he asks whats going on. Let him have it!
That will cause a major fight. did it bfore. didnt turn out so well. he kind of called me dictator and heartless because if he is "tired" he is "tired". I am tired all the time...but I push through? and he is off all next week. OMG I am not doing anything next week. Not a thing. He is doing it all or it wont get done.
Girl, That stuff is for real? I only see that on TV. I ask my husband for a massage because we are on a tight baby budget so I dont want to go out and get one. Its like he doesnt want to do it. The only times he does it right is when he wants to have sex. I havent been attracted to him. We havent even slept in the same room for the past two nights.
I am working up to my due date as well. Mainly because working is the one thing that keeps me sane. LOL But, Seriously? Do they freakin know what are bodies go through...along with the mental and physical stress of life...making baby is not easy!
This would force me to smother him while he's sleeping... I'd be pissed, but would most likely do it again just to get the point across.
I feel your pain...so take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. My husband has the most laid back job ever and gets off every other thursday and friday...working for the government no less. I, however, am exhausted, only have less than 3 weeks left and have to work long stressful hours to come home to a messy house with crap thrown everywhere. and my MIL is the same way. She comes over, expects everything to be in great shape and for me to put on the dog for her (including meals) and never looks to her son for any of it.
This is why I put my foot down and told DH that if the house wasnt clean and food wasnt in the fridge, then he couldnt invite anyone over. If he did invite them over without cleaning, etc., then I'd leave and go to my mothers. What I dont see or experience or listen to doesnt hurt me...so to speak. Id give him an ultimatum bc its just going to get worse and you need all the help you can get when LO arrives!
I hear ya!! I posted something like this last week on the June board. My husband is about the same way. I am killing myself working 40 hours a week, taking the train everyday and then doing housework and trying to keep exercising. All I have asked him to do for the last 8 months is finish the renovation work that he started on the house. Instead of doing that on his day off he goes golfing, WTF?? I went off on him last weekend and he felt bad for the weekend but things are back to where they were. Good luck!!
He has needs too? I cater to EVERY need that man has. EVERY need. I LOVE MY HUSBAND. It just seems like he has gotten worse since I have been pregnant. All I am asking for is a little help. IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF I WAS HOME. BUT we both work.