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Success after IF
LIAngel
member
WWSAIFD? So I mentioned to the Pedi about Nicholas' only using the potty at home
LIAngel
member
my mom had to bring the kids to the Dr today while I'm at work (both have sinus infections, she has ear infection) and as a "by the way". My mom mentioned to the Dr the fact that Nicholas will only use the potty at home. I told her to ask him about that. So he'll hold it in for up to 4 or 5 hours and then as soon as he gets home from school he'll pee- A LOT. She also mentioned that he won't even go on the potty at her house (yesterday he had 2 accidents since he didn't get home til almost 3, but he just wouldn't use the potty at my mom's house- even though DH brought his potty from home).
So the Dr said that holding it in for that long isn't good. It can cause bladder infection. He said that if he continues to do that (not wanting to go at school or any place other than home), that I should stop for a few weeks and then start back up again when he is more mature. But I don't want to do that. That to me would be going backwards and would undo what we did these past 2 weeks. Why would I put him back in a diaper or Pull Up?
So WWYD? Would you stop and then start up again? My gut says no.
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Re: WWSAIFD? So I mentioned to the Pedi about Nicholas' only using the potty at home
I would stop and let it go for a few weeks. This behaviour can become a battle of wills/stubborness and may do more harm than good.
DS is 22 months and being showing interest in the potty for the last 2 months or so. I tried to push the issue of pooping last week and now he refuses to have anything to do with the potty when it comes to pooping...so I'm letting it go for now.
I ask him if he wants to use the potty in the morning, after naps etc. and I'm letting him set the pace for now.
I wouldn't see it as going backward. I think right now it might be in a different direction than what you set out to do, so it might be best to go back to square one and try again. As if wanting to go 2 miles up the road and instead going a mile down the road - might be better to go home first then keep where you are now. I don't think it is a big deal to stop/re-start. The efforts made won't be unlearned but the behavior you don't want can be stopped and then hopefully not included when you re-start.
I would be wondering though of techniques you could use to try to get him to go while not at home. Reward system? I'm not knoweldgeable on what works, but would try that first if it makes you feel like you've given it your best shot. There isn't anything that could have been done differently but simply his journey to potty trained.
So put him back in diapers or Pull Ups or those training pants you had mentioned a few days ago? When you stopped, what did you say to your daughter? Like "Oh nevermind we'll go back to the potty in the few weeks here's your diaper/PullUp/trainingpants back?" I'm sure I didn't word that correctly so my apologies if it sounds snarky.
Actually that's a good question. I think we've kept all things potty training low key, we're not up against any school deadlines or anything (I think I remember you saying you were?) so I'm pretty sure I just let her know that she wouldn't be getting any more M&Ms (this was still the M&Ms stage of bribery) because those were for going potty and she wasn't doing it consistently and that's fine but no more M&Ms and she went back to diapers (but we used cloth so she would still feel wet). She would ask for M&Ms and I'd remind her why she wasn't going to get them and that was ok with her. Then after a while, probably a month, she got tired of having her diaper changed again, and we were hard core, back up on the changing table, wet wipe down, etc... and we reminded her she could avoid it by going in the potty. Then over time she indicated she would rather use the potty than be up on the change table...so...we followed her lead. And that's when we went back to panties and training panties (cloth). We've never used pull-ups but my Mom has them at her house and DD treats them just like diapers, always has.
I wouldn't say she's 100% trained right now, she still wears a cloth diaper to bed. But 99% she's dry when she wakes. She's good about peeing in all potties now and less consistent about pooping, in general, but she does poop in her potty at home. She will occasionally hold poop for a while and beg for a diaper but we can usually convince her that she'll feel better and avoid being cleaned up on the change table if she'll poop in the potty. I can't tell you the last time she had an accident out, she does however sometimes forget to stop playing at home but...accidents happen. We've always got more clothes. And we do ask that she help clean up any accidents.
You didn't really ask but out evolution of bribery was M&Ms, which never really worked. Then Dum-Dum suckers, which only had marginally better success. Then we took a break. Then when she said she wanted to use the potty we used a sticker chart so she could earn a toy she saw that she really wanted (and we had like 25 squares she had to fill on the chart so it took her an entire week) to now when she can request a special treat for pooping in the big potty (not the little one, the one that flushes). She generally asks for a sucker.
I was thinking of a reward system too when he goes at my Mom's house or my sister's house they can give him something like M&M's (his potty reward at home) or maybe something else that he only gets when he goes on the potty at Auntie's house or Nanny's house that he wouldn't get at home.
My friend's son went to preschool all last year and didn't pee at school once. He was potty trained but would pee at home and then not pee again until he got back from school at lunchtime. To this day (and he is four now) he really prefers to pee at home. He hasn't had any issues with bladder infections. I am not saying that holding it doesn't cause bladder infections, but it doesn't all the time.
Reed wouldn't pee in a public toilet or at my SIL's for months after he was potty trained at home. It was a comfort thing. Reed chose to pee his pants instead of holding it which wasn't great either:)
I would keep up with the potty training for at least another week and see if he gets any better. Maybe you could buy one of those potty seats that go over the regular toilet seat and have him bring that with him so he feels more comfortable?
Talk to him a bit more about peeing at school next week and maybe tell him he will get a special treat if he pees at Grandma's house? Something even better than he gets at home?
And push the liquids big time.
Good luck:)
Yeah we have one of those potty rings and so does my sister, but he doesn't like it. So we just bring his potty chair with us to my sister's house or my Mom's house (so he's using the one from home, he's just not AT home). And oh yes I've told him every day on the way to school and will continue to do so about peeing on the potty at school. But of course he says "I do it later" or "I do it at home".
I asked his teacher about it and she said a lot of kids do it for the reason you mentioned- comfort thing.
I agree that it sounds like maybe a stubbornness thing or not being ready, either of which might suggest slowing down a little. Our approach was very different from yours, but it worked for us, so I'll share what I would do. For one thing, we potty trained slowly over a month. At home, it was underwear during the day, pull-ups at night and nap time. But we put pull-ups on her when we went out anywhere. The expectation was still that she would use the potty, so it wasn't like we were saying, "Oh, it's ok, you can pee in your pull-up." We would still ask her all the time, put her on it regularly, and praise her like MAD if she was successful. But, there wasn't any pressure -- just positive reinforcement
It wasn't until she was fully comfortable using the potty at home every.single.time (without an accident) during the day that we really raised the bar and started putting her in underwear outside of the house. And even then, if I knew we were going to be out a long time (like running a bunch of errands, or going downtown for the day), I put her in a pull-up just in case. When she was still learning, I definitely did not want her to feel ashamed if she had an accident when we were out somewhere. Plus, *I* hate to use public bathrooms, so I completely understand the hesitation there.
I know every kid is different, but taking it slow and letting Ava really master each step of it before raising the bar made led to great success and very few accidents.
Yup we do haul the baby bjorn potty into the back of the car. He will not sit on it other than at home. We'll figure it out. I hope.