I am terrified - DH going back to work on Monday
charmcitygirl
member
Girls, seriously, how in the hell am I going to do this? DH has been home with me and the boys for the past 2 weeks and it has been heaven. We have been great tag team parenting. Jacob is going through a big Daddy phase right now (that started before the baby came), so they have been spending a lot of QT together. Honestly, I miss Jacob because we haven't been spending as much time together as we used to. Although I have made a point to go to the library and a couple of other places with just him.
But there have been many times when Adam is getting Jacob a meal or down for a nap or bedtime and Danny is just screaming his face off - he doesn't like to be put down right now - or he's getting fed. And I wonder how in the heck I'm going to be able to balance their needs. Sure, I can wear Daniel and I can get Jacob to be helpful and quick as possible in his little routines for bedtime and such. But this is going to be HARD.
Just this afternoon I had a total breakdown just thinking about Adam going back to work and its still 4 days away! And I'm a bit worried about PPD. I had it with Jacob and I don't want to let myself get as down as I did with Jacob before I seek out help, but I don't want to jump the gun either. I know there are a lot of hormones and sleep deprivation mixed in right now.
I can't believe I'm scared of these two little boys, but I am.
Re: I am terrified - DH going back to work on Monday
You will survive this. Yes, it will be hard. There are going to be days where you feel like someone has been crying all day long...either the baby, the toddler or you...and that's okay. Crying never killed anyone!
Lots of baby wearing, lots of TV time for the toddler...you just do whatever you have to do to get through the first three months. For us, that time was just about survival...not about getting any quality time or getting anything accomplished. As long as the babies were fed and had on clean-ish diapers, I felt like I'd won that day.
You'll get your groove, but it'll take a little while. You've got some hard days coming up...but I swear to you, in six months, when Jacob and Daniel are in the floor playing together while you watch, you'll forget all about how hard the next few weeks are going to be.
You CAN do this!
Hun, I felt the same way as you! I was petrified to be with both kids alone. I was stressed all day long when I was alone with them. But what I can promise is that the more you do it the more you will get into a routine. Then it will feel totally normal...and you will wonder how you thought one kid was hard.
And you always have us to vent to!! You can do it!!
I totally agree with this
Probably not what you wanted to hear, but going from 1-2 was ridiculously hard for us.
You will survive....we all did
Heck.....I added another to the mix-Lol!
Do what you can......you are going to have to let stuff go. Laundry and the house got let go here. When the baby was sleeping, I tried to do something with DS1 (I still try to do this when DS2 and DD are sleeping....). Now that the weather is getting warmer, try and get them out for walks if you can.
Not sure if you have any close parks, but we have a ton that are ones that are easy to watch (i.e. not super busy and a bit spread out....). I can take the boys and let them run around while I sit and feed DD or lay her out on a blanket to hang out.
It will take you a bit to get out and go places with both-I am just now feeling comfortable taking all 3 kids out by myself! Don't feel bad if you can't make it work.
Jacob goes to school a couple days a week, right? That will save you
(please no flames!), but I dread the days when all 3 kids are home and we have nothing planned. School days are the best because it gets us in our routine and it gets the boys out of the house to a place that they love!
GL! You can do it. Come on anytime and vent away!
You can do it! I understand being scared and there will be lots of what I like to call chaos:)
What helped me was to figure out the times or situations that were going to be the most troublesome....then find ways to make those times work better.
Your DH will probably be pretty busy when he goes back to work. If you can organize to have groceries delivered to your house, that would be awesome. Also plan to have easy meals.
Good luck. You will do great!
Jacob is a super good little guy. I am sure you could talk to him about what it's going to be like when Daddy goes back to work and he is home with Mommy and his brother.
I couldn't say it better. Everything Dana said is how it was in our house, except the baby wearing. Neither of mine were ever fans of that. Dylan watched a lot of tv, he played on my iphone a lot, he had lots of snacks to keep him content, etc. It was survival mode, and it was SO worth it. Watching them play together, hug each other, laugh at each other, etc is worth the hard times and so much more. You'll do great!
BFP with no treatment!
I was thinking about checking in with you to see how it was going. I don't blame you one bit for being scared...I'm not there yet and I really don't know how I am going to do it. BUT...I do know that there are millions of moms who are much less capable than we are who do this and more everyday so I know you (and I) can do it. J goes to school some days right? Just do what you can to get through the other days and then let yourself nap when D naps when J is out of the house.
Garrison will be with me the whole time (though I am considering asking my MIL to keep her overnight one day a week to give us all a break) so I fear I am going to be even more sleep deprived than I was the first time around.
Hopefully after B Cubed arrives we can get together sometime while I'm on leave-- I know that always helped after I had G when I had two other friends on maternity leave at the same time. Hang in there-- you can do this!!
Ditto...all of this! You can do it! Just set your expectations crazy low, go into survival mode, and you'll have it figured out in no time. Yes, the baby will cry more than you'd like, the toddler will throw more tantrums than usual, the TV will be on more than you'd like...but all of that is ok. Everyone may be crying and screaming at the same time (you included) on a daily basis, but that is ok, too. Because it wont last forever and it won't do any damage to anyone. Promise!!! The newborn phase is hard but it is temporary!
Get as much help as you possible can, give yourself a lot of slack, and before you know it, you will be a pro. Good luck!!!
Because we're fancy like that.
IVF #1 = BFP!! So blessed to have our baby boy! IVF #2 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! IVF #3 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! FET #1 = 8/14, Two transferred, One stuck! Praying for another healthy miracle! Due: 5/2/13