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Sorry for being a Bitter Betty, was a crappy morning.

fingerscrossed72fingerscrossed72 member
in TTC after 35

I let myself actually think that this cycle would work, that this was it. WTF is wrong with me, why should this cycle be any different than any other? This now makes 15 FAILED attempts. I dont know how many more months I can keep doing this to myself, it is just so damn depressing and upsetting. We get ourselves all jacked up and excited in the 2ww, we try to justify and analyze every little twinge, cramp and achy bbs. And for what...another BFFN. I just dont know how many more bfn's I can take seeing.

I'm stuck at work today, I dont want to be here, I want to go and just cry somewhere.

 I just want to be KU.

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Re: Sorry for being a Bitter Betty, was a crappy morning.

  • danieleandwaynedanieleandwayne member

    Oh Sweetie, I am so so so sorry this cycle didn't work out.

    Unless someone is on fire at work, can you take some time off or leave early? I normally try to keep myself busy, but sometimes, you just need to pamper yourself and have a mental health day. I'd say 15 BFNs entitle you to some leeway and definitely to some pampering...

    ((hugs))

    *********************************************************************************************

    "You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was." 
            -- Abraham Lincoln
     

                               Me:39  MH:39 
    DD born 6/1/2013 after 15 months of TTC with one loss.    
    TTC #2: BFP 4/22 but stalled growth and no HB at 9w3d on 5/30        

    <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3a2798" style="font-size:smaller;" >
    <br /> My Ovulation Chart</a>
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  • dhreczuckdhreczuck member

    So sorry, that totally sucks. Maybe you can take a mental health day tomorrow?

    nate and teddy
    Me 41 DH 46  Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test. TTC #2 **5th cycle 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy is due 04/28/13!!     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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  • LlamamamaLlamamama member
    I am so sorry and I hear you!  There is so much hope in the 2 ww..just like you said, every little twinge convinces you this is IT..and then you find out it was not..  Suddenly you feel like you don't know your own body, you have lost your mind and the hormones start flowing with a vengeance.  I know for me CD1 is like the end of the world.  I have had 31 of those days, where I know I failed and each time I don't think I can do it again.  I am so sorry and I hope you will be one of the lucky ones soon.
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
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  • ShellBear+ShellBear+ member
    I'm so sorry :(.  This whole emotional roller coaster sucks so much. 
    TTC since Dec. 2010. Me: 37, DH: 38...unexplained RPL
    BFP #1 - missed m/c 4.18.11 found @8w3d, d&c @13w 
    BFP #2 blighted ovum found 8.2011 @8w, misoprostol
    BFP#3 - missed m/c 6.11.12 @ 9w3d, d&c revealed extra chromosome 15
    BFP#4 8.10.12, DD born 4/26/13
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  • 10-4LilBuddy10-4LilBuddy member
    I'm so sorry.  We all know how you feel.  I decided to work from home today because I'm in a pretty cranky mood.  It's not helping - co-workers are just ticking me off via instant message versus in person.  Sigh...  Hang in there
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  • AbeilleAbeille member
    I'm sorry. I hope you get some time to yourself soon.  ((hugs))
    Me: 38, PCOS/ DH: 37

    DD born 12.21.09, conceived w/ injects and IUI



    TTC#2 since Nov 2011

    BFP 2.6.12 m/c 6w5d | BFP 5.25.12 c/p

    -Back to the RE-

    3 medicated IUIs, all BFN

    -Taking a break from treatment-

    BFP 11.20.12 ~ EDD 7.28.13

    image image

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    My Chart
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  • annaliselannalisel member
    I'm sorry. I find stairwells are not bad places to be for crying.
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  • irishgirl0525irishgirl0525 member
    I'm so sorry it didn't work out this cycle. I could have written your post and I know exactly how you feel (as we all do!). IF sucks. I hope you feel better.  ((Hugs))
    TTC since 3/2010. Me 41, DH-49. After 3 years, 6 IUIs and several IVFs we have finally have our beautiful baby girl, born on 11/7/13.



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  • owlprofowlprof member
    I'm so sorry that you didn't get a better result.  This whole process totally sucks.  I hope you made it through the rest of the day okay.
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