Attachment Parenting

Introducing a bottle to LO how to get over not wanting to

LO is EBF, and I'll be a SAHM until she's at least 12 months and maybe up to 2 years.

I feel like the sensible thing to do is to introduce a bottle so that I have flexibility and options as she gets older, but I hate it.

I hate pumping, and I hate letting go of our time together. I'm really possessive of feeding her and I don't give a f%&$ about DH missing out on bonding with her in this way.

So help me get over it. She's 10 weeks old, and I know a bottle was meant to be introduced a couple of weeks ago. 

Anyone else feel this way. Tell me I'm not crazy. Or tell me I am and give me a kick up the ass.

Thanks ladies 

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Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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Re: Introducing a bottle to LO how to get over not wanting to

  • There's no rule that says you need to introduce a bottle. Honestly if I were a SAHM when DD was born I probably would not have. We introduced a sippy cup at 4-5m and considering how infrequently I left DD in the first few months, I don't really see the need... You could also feed EBM in a cup. We used a doidy cup from about 6-7m. You'd still need to pump though.
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  • Introducing a bottle is not a necessity. I know plenty of babies who have never had a bottle.  If you get to the point where you need to/want to be away, deal with it then. If your child will not take a bottle at that point, drinking pumped milk from a small cup is an option, as is syringe-feeding, as is accepting that baby may go on a wee hunger strike for a few hours and then just stock up when you return.

    Now, all of that said--I do think it is important to take your partner's feelings into consideration because when this happens if nay very well be him dealing with the baby. And even if you never leave baby at a young age, he still is your partner in life and parenting. I am NOT saying that you have to use a bottle or do anything but have baby at the breast with you, but I am saying that it sounds like a discussion is in order because you have such strong, posessive feelings (as indicated in this post, I have no clue how that translates IR)L. You may just want to touch base on if he feels like an equal partner in parenting and, if not, come up with some (non-feeding) things he can do to feel that way. No matter how you feed, an invested, empowered dad is a great thing, right? ;)

  • LO hated a bottle and never took one. I did go back to work part time when she was 4 months old, and pumped, but she would never take it. DH would try, and she would take maybe 2 ounces while I was gone. He went to a cup and she took more, but still not a lot. He gave up and I ended up only working in the office for 4 hour chunks of time, or he would come by so I could feed her. He bonded in other ways. She only liked BM straight from the tap. At 6 months we started giving her water from a cup when I was away and she was fine. I would say you don't have to go to a bottle if you don't want to, and once she gets a bit older just go straight to a sippy or regular cup if you are going to be away.

    DH would take her for walks, give her a bath, and to this day is the only one who has ever trimmed her nails. I'd talk to him about other ways to bond.  

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  • I felt that way with my first. Looking back on it, I wish I had introduced a bottle sooner. I did not leave her often, but the times I did would have been much less stressful if I knew she was going to eat happily without me. I don't think it is something that you have to do daily, but getting her to take one once in while might come in handy.
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  • If you don't HAVE to introduce a bottle, I wouldn't.  I'm a SAHM, but have to be gone 3 hours two nights a week, and this started when LO was 5 months old.  I was worried he wouldn't take a bottle, but DH sent me a pic of him holding his own bottle and drinking away while I was gone.  Sometimes when I am gone he doesn't drink a sip, and other times he has gone through 8 ounces.  That being said, I absolutely DESPISE pumping, cleaning pump parts, etc.  If you don't HAVE to be gone, I would hold off on introducing the bottle so that your LO doesn't decide she likes the bottle better and you are stuck with pumping duties. 
  • I had a lot of anxiety about (re)introducing the bottle because I worked hard to get LOs off the bottle after a fought start nursing. It liteally made me want to cry seeing them take one and I half wanted them to reject it. But now many months later I'm really glad I did, they never get more than one a day and not only that but it gives me a real sense of freedom knowing there is another option. And I'm not a fan of the pump so I only do it if I'm going to be gone, not so someone else cani feed them.
  • Mine is 9.5 months and has never, ever taken a bottle. Some days I wish we had the option, but she just isn't interested. We've survived just fine, though I do get a little touched out now and then and have to have an hour or two away from the house by myself. As long as you are comfortable with being her sole source of milk, there's no reason to force a bottle.
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  • imagepixieprincss:

    Introducing a bottle is not a necessity. I know plenty of babies who have never had a bottle.  If you get to the point where you need to/want to be away, deal with it then. If your child will not take a bottle at that point, drinking pumped milk from a small cup is an option, as is syringe-feeding, as is accepting that baby may go on a wee hunger strike for a few hours and then just stock up when you return.

    Now, all of that said--I do think it is important to take your partner's feelings into consideration because when this happens if nay very well be him dealing with the baby. And even if you never leave baby at a young age, he still is your partner in life and parenting. I am NOT saying that you have to use a bottle or do anything but have baby at the breast with you, but I am saying that it sounds like a discussion is in order because you have such strong, posessive feelings (as indicated in this post, I have no clue how that translates IR)L. You may just want to touch base on if he feels like an equal partner in parenting and, if not, come up with some (non-feeding) things he can do to feel that way. No matter how you feed, an invested, empowered dad is a great thing, right? ;)

    yes all good things to consider, and I know it all came off strongly in the post. DH is a very invested parent but isn't bothered about feeding LO. He was really keen to feed DD1, but he quickly found that whilst it was a nice enough thing to do, it didn't make him feel any more or less bonded and that he's just as happy holding and cuddling LO.

    My comment about not caring about him bonding through feeding was more in anticipation of the comments you often see about, "BF is a really nice way for DH to bond with LO." ...so I was trying to say this statement doesn't help me feel better about introducing a bottle to LO.

    Thanks for all your thoughts and comments ladies. 

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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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  • imageKateLouise:
    imagepixieprincss:

    Introducing a bottle is not a necessity. I know plenty of babies who have never had a bottle.  If you get to the point where you need to/want to be away, deal with it then. If your child will not take a bottle at that point, drinking pumped milk from a small cup is an option, as is syringe-feeding, as is accepting that baby may go on a wee hunger strike for a few hours and then just stock up when you return.

    Now, all of that said--I do think it is important to take your partner's feelings into consideration because when this happens if nay very well be him dealing with the baby. And even if you never leave baby at a young age, he still is your partner in life and parenting. I am NOT saying that you have to use a bottle or do anything but have baby at the breast with you, but I am saying that it sounds like a discussion is in order because you have such strong, posessive feelings (as indicated in this post, I have no clue how that translates IR)L. You may just want to touch base on if he feels like an equal partner in parenting and, if not, come up with some (non-feeding) things he can do to feel that way. No matter how you feed, an invested, empowered dad is a great thing, right? ;)

    yes all good things to consider, and I know it all came off strongly in the post. DH is a very invested parent but isn't bothered about feeding LO. He was really keen to feed DD1, but he quickly found that whilst it was a nice enough thing to do, it didn't make him feel any more or less bonded and that he's just as happy holding and cuddling LO.

    My comment about not caring about him bonding through feeding was more in anticipation of the comments you often see about, "BF is a really nice way for DH to bond with LO." ...so I was trying to say this statement doesn't help me feel better about introducing a bottle to LO.

    Thanks for all your thoughts and comments ladies. 

    My DH is the same way (thank goodness, LOL!). Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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