First, thanks for reading. For the past week I've been sick to my stomach trying to make a decision. I apologize for the length but I'm so confused. I've been talking with my family but I just need someone else to guide me here!
I have the option to schedule a repeat c-section or to VBAC. Heres my story.
With my first child, I got to 42 weeks with no labor so I was induced first using cervical ripening gel. That got me to 3 cm. I went into the hospital the next day and started my 15 hour day of pitocin which changed nothing. I still sat at 3 cm. My dr. broke my water, I got an epidural, then baby's heart rate started to change. We waited a few more hours only for my dr. to tell me that it did not appear that my daughter was going to fit through my pelvis. C-section at 4am, long and hard recovery with lots of pain! Basically, my body never really went into labor even with medical help.
Now, here I am, 34 weeks pregnant, hoping for a VBAC, but very much undecided and uncertain. My doctor is very supportive of whatever decision I make but recommended that I schedule a c-section for 39 weeks just in case I want one (so that I get her as my surgeon and time/date preference). I can change my mind and cancel at any time.
I'm completely torn and here are my reasons:
1. My body never went into labor with my first pregnancy, I didn't dilate and my daughter wouldn't fit. She was only 7lbs! If my body didn't respond to medication the first time around, why would it the second time around? And, because I've already had a c-section, the doctors cannot use the cervical ripening gel this time - which was the only reason I got to 3cm in the first place! If I choose a VBAC, will I just end up laboring like this all over again only to need another c-section with a long recovery?
2. My brother is getting married 10 days after my due date. As my physician, my dr. does not recommend that I travel out of state, 3 hours away, at 41.5 weeks pregnant. I must agree. So if I choose a VBAC, they'll let me go to 42 weeks and I'll miss my brother's wedding. If I schedule a c-section, I'll be well enough to travel and see him get married.
3. Rumor has it that scheduled c-sections bring a quicker recovery because you're not exhausted and sore from labor.
4. I have a 2 year old at home to care for post-delivery. How can I care for her if I've had a c-section?! If I'm going to have a c-section, I'd rather it be scheduled in hopes that my recovery is quicker.
Do I schedule the c-section, have help lined up, make it to my brothers wedding, possibly have a better recovery? Do I wait it out and hope my body goes into labor allowing me to VBAC? Do I wait it out hoping to VBAC, but then only need another c-section with a rough recovery and my entire family out of state for my brother's wedding?!?
I'm so nervous about this MAJOR decision!! Advice, tips, anything!?
Re: Really need some advice! I'll miss my brothers wedding unless I schedule a C/S!!!
Here are my responses to your items:
1. Every labor is different. There is no way to predict when you will go into labor or how that labor will go. With DD, my water broke before labor started at 39w6d. Stalled at 3-4cm after 22+ hours of Pitocin and epidural, and ended with a c/s. She was 7 lbs, 1oz. With DS, active labor started on its own at 41w1d the evening after my membrane sweep (early labor all day long though). He was born vaginally the following evening and weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz.
2. IMO, I wouldn't schedule a c/s to make a family member's wedding. To each her own on this though, as it's obviously a personal decision. I would only schedule a c/s if there was a true medical need (ie, breech, high BP, etc). I also would not schedule a c/s for 39 weeks either though, as I would wait to schedule it until at least my EDD. Again, JMHO.
3. I have heard the same in regards to a scheduled RCS recovery going much smoother than a recovery from a labor turned into an unplanned RCS. Though that's not always the case... It's different for everyone.
4. Will you not have your SO/DH to help with your DD at home post-delivery? What about a neighbor/close friend to come over and help you out? Again, your recovery may or may not be easier after a RCS, so I wouldn't base your decisions on recovery. It may or may not be easier after a VBAC; you just can't know until after delivery what your recovery will be like.
The answers to your questions can only be decided by you. It sounds like you have a lot of variable up in the air right now, so perhaps you should discuss this with your SO/DH and your family. What do they say? Your brother's wedding is only 3 hours away, so your family could easily get back fairly quickly after the wedding to help you out. Who knows, you may still be in the hospital during his wedding, so it's likely that your family would be back in time to help you out regardless of your method of birth (RCS or VBAC).
HTH and GL with your decision!
~Sweet Girl *8/18/08* c-section ~ Sweet Boy *12/2/10* VBAC ~ Sweet Boy *8/14/12* VBAC~
VBAC Birth Story 2VBAC Birth Story
1) your body wasn't ready to go into labor, if it happens naturally you could have an entirely different experience.
2) honestly I wouldn't have felt like going to a wedding 10 days post c/s delivery. I was still bleeding and BFing around the clock. I think realistically it's going to be tough to make your brothers wedding no matter how you deliver.
3) my friend had a scheduled c/s for breech and when we compared recoveries they were pretty much the same as far as discomfort and speed of recovery.
4) I want to avoid a RCS for this reason, DD is a Mama's girl and I'm a SAHM 8'd have help for a couple weeks but I don't want to be chasing an active toddler after a RCS.
I want to be like my mom friend who was at the park yesterday with her 2 year old 3 weeks pp from having #2.
Ditto all of this and I'll throw in that there is no way I'd be traveling out of state to a wedding 10-17 days after giving birth, no matter how I delivered.
GL with your decision and upcoming delivery.
I agree with everything from all pp. But, I have to doubly agree with the above.
My friend just had her third planned c-section. She said the recovery was WORSE then with her second and comparable to her original. I think each surgery is different, complications can be different, and recovery is different.
I agree with all of this. I changed hospitals to VBAC. I was ultimately induced at 42 weeks because that was the longest the hospital would allow a VBAC to go. My original hospital wouldn't allow a VBAC and said I had to have a RCS at 39 weeks. Looking back, there must have been a reason DD wanted to be in there for three more weeks- that's a significant amount of time for a baby in there.
I, personally, would not schedule unnecessary surgery ever. And I had an "easy" c/s recovery after DS but was still sweaty, leaking, and gross two-three weeks out and in no condition to go anywhere. But that is just me.
Only you can make this decision, but did you talk to your brother? Would he want you to have majoy surgery just to get to his wedding? And would it be a good idea to bring a 2 week old to a wedding? It almost sounds like you just feel really bad that you might miss your brothers wedding (which is understandable) but taking the baby early might not make it happen. There could be complications or you might just feel terrible and not able to travel. Nothing is certain in this situation.
I agree with all the above. The only thing I really have to add is that if your first child needed more than 42 weeks to be ready to be born, then I would absolutely not schedule a c-section for 39 weeks. Three weeks is a big difference at that point!
Also, again, there is no way to know if this baby will wait that long or come closer to 40 weeks. Especially since subsequent births are frequently earlier.