stepsons' mother's birthday

lily_721 · April 2012

The boys are not close to their crazy mother. SS2 hasn't spoken to her for months and SS1 speaks her every few months. She doesn't have custody or visitation although SS1 visits with her about once per year.

Usually DH takes the boys to get her a gift/card for various things. I bought the gift once and decided this really shouldn't involve me. DH will be gone for a month (which falls over her birthday and mother's day). Should I do anything about this? They are in high school so they are capable of doing this themselves.

I want to do the right thing but I also don't want to encourage communication from her. "Hope you have a great day, please don't call." LOL.

Holly_1007 · April 2012

they are both in high school, does one atleast have a drivers license? If so I would bring it up a week before hand and say, "hey guys just a reminder that mothers day/ BM's birthday is coming up. Why don't you guys make a plan to get her a small gift and a card this weekend, I will handle mailing it for you once its all set."

That way they pick it out, if it doesn't happen its not on you, but you are still showing that you are being supportive of them having a decent relationship with her...

MarSamWhitney · April 2012

I agree, you could remind them its coming up, remind them the hours of the post office or whatever. I wouldnt stand in their way, even though your probably want to ;-)

Phantomgirl · April 2012

a mothers day card really??? Why?

Birthday I probably would do a card that say ' hope you are happy and healthy, best of luck SS1 and SS2'.

I'm all for giving credit when its due, I'm not one to jump on the Hallmark bandwagon and dole out money because some smart marketing person came up with an idea.

Give them a one week reminder and let nature take its course.

rachi1285 · April 2012

Agreeing with PP's; remind them about it and leave it at that. It's not your responsibility. And what mom wants a card from her kids' stepmom?

Rhenna · April 2012

I agree, they are both in high school and are more than old enough to decide if they want to bother with a gift/card. I would just remind them and let that be it. If they don't do anything for her..oh well. Maybe they want to just be done being forced to deal with her and I think they are old enough to make that call.