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3rd Trimester
WWYD? Pet help.
Am I a terrible person?
I own a 4 yr old cockatiel and I love him and hate him.
Hes loud (like Im not exaggerating when I say I hear him 2 blocks away!), hes obnoxious, needy, territorial...
Hes also cute, amusing, does tricks and brings life to our small 2 bd appartment.
I want to give him up.
Because I think bewteen a crying baby who I just calmed down and put asleep then having the bird SCREECH at 5 am because the sun is coming up... GAH Im going to lose it - Take his cage and stuff it in the darkest room in the house to shut him up and he will barely see the light of day because we dont have the patients to deal with him!! And my baby comes first. Which is so unfair to the bird. He needs a home where he fits in to the dynamic.
My DH also really wants a cat. and I would love a cat...
WWYD?
~?~ Chellezy ~?~
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD? Pet help.
I relate because I have a quaker parrot. My quaker is 3 1/2 years old and I have had her for 3 years. She demands a LOT of attention and is like a little person! She is VERY possessive of me and has MAJOR jealousy issues, so I am quite concerned about how she will do with the baby... However, I would not give her up, because she is also VERY precious to me, and loves me to pieces (and I love her to pieces too!) To me, she is a part of my family and when I got her I committed to keeping her and taking care of her. She didnt ask me to adopt her. I chose to do so, so I see her as my responsibility..
However, if it REALLY doesnt work out when baby comes, then obviously baby takes priority. Hopefully, it will be fine. If you think you won't be able to give her enough time and attention, then perhaps you should look for a better home for her where she gets the love and care she deserves. Or alternatively, instead of getting rid of her, could any of your friends/relatives care for her for a few months while you adjust to baby?
Also, I would not add any new pets to the family with a new baby... If you really want a cat, I would wait for at least a few months after the baby regardless of if you keep your bird or not.
Ditto all of this.
Can't you keep a sheet over the cage until you're ready to be up for the day? Babies get used to the household noises very easily. My baby has never been awoken by my dog who has a big bark.
If it were me, I would see how it goes with the baby and bird. Honestly, it's easy at this point in pregnancy to stress over what turns out to be non-issues.
DS - 7.2006 - C-Section b/c Breech
DS2 - 4.2008 - Successful Vbac
DD - 5.2012 - Successful Vbac
I can totally sympathize. We had 2 cats and a large dog for many years before our first baby. Ever since the baby came, and then with each baby after that, our dog's behavior got worse and worse. I assumed by the end he would be old and sit around and be a calm, good dog. Problem was that he just started barking more and more and at the worst times (think Marley and Me - that was my life). Barked at the wind blowing, the mailman, the random person driving home from work. Always barked during naptime...you get the point. By the end of it, I absolutely hated having the dog, and felt pretty terrible about it. Then add to it my geriatric cat that was peeing all over our furniture and carpet, costing us loads of money to replace it and plenty of stress. We lost our cat 3 years ago and the dog suddenly a few months ago. I can't say I am too sad that they are gone although I felt pretty horrible that they died during a period of time that I was wishing they weren't here. We couldn't bring ourselves to just give them up either though because I do feel that it was our choice to adopt them in the first place and therefore our responsibility to take care of them for life, despite geriatric problems. The only instance that I would have changed my opinion on this is if they ever tried to bite our kids, but they were actually pretty great with the kids.
Tough situation. Wish I had better advice, just have patience.
Ditto this. Pets are lifetime commitments. If you're not willing to make that commitment to your first pet, please don't get rid of it and try with another. Just stay pet free.
I agree that it would be kinda wrong to get rid of your feathered baby and then get a fur baby especially right before the arrival of your baby baby.
I completely understand that parrots can be incredibly annoying, a lot of work/care, and huge responsibility but if you get rid of it you may feel guilty about it for the rest of your life. If you really don't think you can handle it anymore than please just make sure you find it a good home (maybe an older couple whose hearing is going anyway).
A cat would definitely be a bad idea until your child is older. Personally I've wanted a dog for a very long time but have been waiting for years until my wife and I could handle one (time, energy, backyard) though with our first baby due soon I'm planning on getting a puppy sometime when baby is 6-7 so that they may hopefully bond. This brings me to that maybe the bird might be of interest to your baby and/or vica versa. Cats are less likely to bond with children though when your baby grows up a bit, a kitten might be a lot better suited then.
Agreed. I have 3 cats who need fed, watered, attention, cleaned up after with a litter box, hair balls, vacuumed up after for hair and more dusting for their hair in the air that lands on things. It requires lots of work. Plus they are curious and will jump in the baby's things so I am getting a tall pet gate to hopefully keep them downstairs in the main living area so they can't get in her room upstairs. Even a dog is work. There is no "easy" pet.
I would say try the sheet over the cage when it is nap time (I had 2 birds when I was younger and they would usually quiet down when the blanket was over the cage, no matter what time of day, and they were noisy when the sun rose).
I have also heard that babies tend to get used to the sounds in the home, so long as they are consistent. Maybe if the bird is around, your LO will adjust easily. It might be easier to give it a try rather than assume it'll be easier to have someone else take the bird for a few months. When the routine and "normal" for home is established, it may be difficult to introduce a sudden loud noise rather than just adjusting from the start.
Also, there's nothing wrong with having a bird and a cat, I had 2 birds and 3 cats as a child and never had problems. But if you're worried about just a bird, it may be wise to rethink a cat for now.
1. Don't get a cat right now. Wait a year and then talk about it again. If you are considering getting rid of your bird now, then you are not ready for a new pet. Also, it's tough to have a new pet with a newborn.
2. Personally, I think it's sad when people give up their pets when they have a baby without putting some effort into it. I have two dogs, and I couldn't imagine life without them. In the end, if you have to make a choice - of course, you choose your baby. If your bird gets banished to the basement - then he's going to be better off in another home. I would suggest getting someone to take care of him for a few weeks while you adjust
I grew up with lots of pets in the household. My grandfather lived with my parents when I was born and he had no less than 3 cats at any given time and a cockatiel, when I was a year old he got me a dog. The constant tweeting of the bird is something I remember throughout my childhood. There are several pictures of me from a year old and up, flinching with the bird on my shoulder because of the one time it decided to nibble on my earlobe.
The bird stayed in the living room and I remember my grandfather always covering the his cage before bedtime.
I agree with those who have said try out keeping the bird with your LO. It's likely that the baby will accept the sounds of the bird as routine in the household and not be disrupted by it.
I had a Quaker, and ended up having to get rid of her due to my asthma- My allergist told me that bird dander is bad for developing lungs in young children and babies, as well as people with breathing problems.
Also, bird poop has highly concentrated amounts of ammonia in it (the yellow liquidish part of the droppings), which is expelled into the air as it comes out of the vent - this can also harm little lungs - it's even worse if the cage isn't kept clean and the poop is dried and put into the air as dust. (I was anal about keeping her cage clean, I usually cleaned it twice a day, but the dander from her preening herself was enough to warrant finding her a good home.)
I wouldn't get rid of him for the screeching, I'd do it moreso for the safety of the baby's lungs. I'd also wait to get a cat until the baby is older, maybe a year or so - that way, they can grow up together and you don't have to worry about a new pet along with a new baby.
Cats aren't some instant stree-free pet either...just a different set of issues and problems to potentially deal with, depending on the cat's personality and response to a new baby in the ouse.
Worst case...you could be dealing with cat spray on your walls and carpet, poop and hairballs in the corners, allergies, clawing, biting, all-hours howling, trying to get in the crib, nocturnal playing, vet bills, litter box cleaning, etc. Yeah, now is not the time to get more pets, imo.
I owned cockatiels for almost 20 years, so while I understand how noisy and needy they can sometimes be, I want to strongly advise against the idea a couple of other posters have shared of covering the bird's cage at baby's naptime or leaving it covered for more time in the morning.
Birds have internal clocks, just like humans do?that's where the screeching at 5 am comes from. It would be cruel and unnatural to try to stifle or ignore those schedules and could stress out your bird, leading to illness, shedding, and/or aggressive or nervous behavior, which likely wouldn't be better than the situation you're currently in. It would be the equivalent of you waking up in the morning and someone throwing a blanket over your head or not letting you out of a dark room for another hour despite you being wide awake and ready to get your day going, or if they did the same thing to you in the middle of the day.
I'm part of the "pets are for life" crew, but if you really think you're not going to be able to deal with the bird once the baby comes, it would be better that you find it another home than potentially start to mistreat or ignore it because you're sleep deprived and have a fussy baby you just finally got to go to sleep.
And ditto all the posters advising you against getting a cat. Cats are work, not only to take care of, but to introduce into their new home?and trying to do it at the same time as navigating a new baby is just asking for a meltdown.
Good luck!