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Stay at Home Moms
curlywhirly
member
Plans for when your children are grown?
curlywhirly
member
Hi ladies, I've mostly been lurking here, but I wanted to introduce myself and ask a question. I've been a sahm since my first was born. It's a tough but very rewarding job--I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to be my kids' primary caregiver!
My husband and I were talking last night about what I'll do once the kids are in school. I feel that what I'm doing now is a huge contribution to our family, but I'm not could justify not having an income-producing job once my kids are in school, even though we are currently comfortable on my husband's salary. My salary could always go toward their education, etc.
Neither of us want our kids to be latch-key kids, and I want to be available for them, so I guess a flexible, part-time job is the most I can see myself doing now.
What do you see yourself doing once your kids are in school?
DS1 10/09
Twins! 2/12
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Plans for when your children are grown?
I am going to return to my field part time. I have already had two part time temporary jobs since my first was born, so I know it is doable and I know what will and won't work in the future.
Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
TTC #2: Started 4/2014 BFP 7/30/15 MC 8/3/15 BFP 9/4/2015 EDD 5/16/2016
I will likely do something part-time in my field just to keep myself busy while the kids are at school (leaving plenty of time time for the gym, lunches with friends and getting manicures, right??).
I would go nuts sitting in a quiet house all day but I want to be here when they go to school and when they come home and summers/holidays.
I have friends going through this exact thing. The dilemma about going back to work is if they get sick, have a field trip, need rides to sports practice, who takes off work? As an ex retail manager I had a lot of women who worked part time days or nights so they could be home when their kids got home from school. It was a challenge when they called in sick because the kids were sick, all wanted the same week off for spring break and wanted less hours in the summer because the kids were home all day. They had to work weekends when their spouse and kids were home.
A part time Monday through Friday job is hard to find, especially one that the day ends at 3 so you can be home when they get out of school. I will never go back to working nights, weekends and holidays like I used to do.
same for me
Unless our financial picture changes drastically I won't ever return to work. I plan to spend school hours volunteering at church, my kids' schools, and other organizations throughout my community. My being home has made our lives so much less hectic and the schedules will just get busier the older the kids get.
If I did need to go back to work part time I would return to doing medical editing/transcription from home while the kids were in school. I'd hate to have to go to work part time doing evenings and weekends and miss out on family time.
This exactly. We are homeschooling all of our kids, and there is always work to do here.
I plan to homeschool my kids but even if we did send them to public school I still wouldn't work. I would love to have the time to keep a spotless house, plus be very involved with their schooling (such as Christmas parties, etc). My mom was a single parent and she didn't have the option of being a SAHM, I was always very jealous that other kids got to have their parents there while mine was at work. Even besides the class parties/PTA/etc, DH's parents are still married and MIL was a SAHM for most of his school life and he hated it when his mom went back to work PT and wasn't home when he got home from school (he'd be home alone for an hour or so) even though he was plenty old enough to be home alone. I've always had more of a 50's housewife mentality and have never been career oriented.
*before the SAHM vs. working mom debate starts, I'm not bashing the other side in any way, just stating mine and my husbands views as children.
At this point in our lives, I can't see myself going back to work at all but if I were, it wouldn't be until our youngest were in 1st grade.
This last year, with Emily in Kindergarten, there have been an overwhelming amount of "minimum" days (pick-up at 11:40am), teacher-workdays/student days off, Holidays, conferences, read-to-the-class days, class parties, and rainy-day-help for indoor recess times... I couldn't hold down a steady, part-time job even if I wanted to!
My previous career was as a Big 4 Public Accountant/Auditor and I was a licensed CPA. I traveled 80% of the 7-day week and worked on 2+ jobsites in a single day, for about 70+hrs every week, excluding travel time. I will never return to my field in that capacity; however, I would consider sitting for the exam again here in CA and working from a home office, possibly doing more tax work for sole proprietors, LLCs, and individuals.
eclaire 9.10.06 diggy 6.2.11
I will probably open my own business as a wedding/event planner (was a corporate event planner in another life). The hope is that I could set my own schedule in regards to client meetings and DH would be home on the weekends. I don't have any plans to become a celebrity wedding planner and would probably only do one event a month except during the busy wedding season. It is more because I love event planning and although I never want to return to the corporate world I do want to continue to do something I enjoy.
I work part-time at the moment but that is because DH is finishing his PhD and we need the extra $ my job provides. DH will submit his thesis and hopefully land a FT job in the next 18 months. The plan is for me to go back to life as a FT SAHM at that point.
m/c at 13 weeks - March 23, 2011
I will be going back to graphic design as a part-time worker or as a freelancer. Probably somewhere between 10-20 hours a week. I'll also at some point complete my MFA.
Once the kids really are grown, DH and I plan to retire, downsize to a small apartment, and travel the world.
this
Noel - August 2010
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My good, old, rarely-updated toddler food blog
The plan is that once Ben and the baby are both in school, I will look for something from 10:00am - 2:00/3:00-ish. I'd like to pick them up from school and when they start taking the bus, be home before or by the time they get here. Ideally, I'd like to find something 3 days a week. The other 2 days, I plan to volunteer in their classrooms, grocery shop, run errands and clean the house.
I will go back to something closer to full time (ideally 32-35 hours a week) when my kids are in school. I'll just work to max out our 401k for a while/save for the kids futures. We want to retire young and DH's income isnt going to be enough for a comfortable retirement alone so we will need me to make something significant.
DH makes his own hours at work and I worked in a family friendly, generally flex hours field before kids as well. Ideally I'd work something like 7-230 so I'd be at home by the time the kids get off the bus at 3. DH will work 9-5 so he can do drop off.
I never thought I was this way until I became a housewife, then I realized that I've pretty much thought this way my whole life and never knew it.
I have been a SAHM for 11.5 years. I am just as busy now if not more so than when they were little. I enjoy volunteering at their school for field trips and classroom parties. I drive them and pick them up from school (no school buses - Parochial school). I can drive them to their afterschool activities. I run all the household errands and do chores during the week so our weekends are free to do things as a family. If I worked I would have needed to find childcare for them at every school break(summer vacation is 3 months, 2 weeks at Xmas, 1.5 week at Easter, mid-winter break), every 1/2 day or random day off that they had. So for me it would not be worth it to find a part-time job because then I would have to find and pay someone to be with the kids when they are home.
My daughter is almost 8 {2nd grade} and the way I see it this is my reward for all the hard work when she was a baby. And seriously, they're in school, but there are a million things to do when they're there. I volunteer for 4 different civic organizations, the school and then do the normal stuff around the house. Add to that, all her activities after school, I'm almost more busy now. I do have more me time, but there isn't time for a job.
ETA---Not to mention we're TTC #2 and probably will try for a third, so they'll have a friend. We've seen the downside to an only child with DD.
She's lonely!
DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
I always thought I would return to work once the kids were all in school, but watching my SIL struggle with the childcare thing now that her daughter is aging out of daycare (she's in Kindy at the daycare this year) I'm quickly changing my mind. She's going to end up spending more money in before and after care that doesn't even work for their work schedules than she has been for daycare. And then there's the stress of half days, days off, summers, winter break, spring break, sick days, etc. She's a pediatrician and said it's nearing the point where her working offers no financial gain after childcare. And it has limited what extracurriculars her kids can do because they aren't available to transport to and from.
When I worked in the history museum we had many per diem school tour guides who were SAHPs or retirees who loved that they could choose when they wanted to work. Our hours on school tour days were 9:30-2:30, so they could drop kids off at school and pick them up, take the day off if kids got sick (we had a lot of people to cover if someone called out) and basically still be a SAHP, but also bring in a little money and have fun. Doing that was my favorite job ever, so if I can find something similar where we're settling then I'd love to get back to doing that. Otherwise I'll likely remain home and volunteer in classrooms, chaperone school trips, help run the PTA, and take care of our home. I can easily see filling that time even with the kids gone.
Oh man, I don't really know
A lot is up in the air right now. DH and I just had this discussion a couple of months ago.
DD is 4 and is in preschool right now, and will be in Pre-K4 this coming school year...so she'll start kindergarten in Sept. 2013. I own a home organizing business, but I've been on hiatus since my dad died in January 2011 to help my mom with our family business. I'm just now getting started again and taking it in a totally different direction, which sorta requires me starting alllll over with marketing, getting clients, etc.
At some point, I need to be bringing in SOME income. I bring in a minimal amount each month because my mom pays me to help her with the family business. When DH and I talked, we decided that I'd have a year and a half ~ until DD starts school in Sept. 2013 ~ to get the business off the ground and making a decent (we didn't come up with a number, though...need to clarify that) monthly income. If by that point the business is floundering, then it's time for me to give that up and get a job. UGH.
I'm a lawyer by degree, but I have ZERO desire to ever practice again. Ideally, I'd find a part-time job being a career counselor or admissions counselor (I was previously a career counselor at the law school that I attended) at a law school in the city, or something equally as flexible...but we'll see. I really, really love my life as it is, and I would hate to give it up, so it's incentive to get my a** moving with my organizing business. DD goes to preschool three days a week, and I use those days to work with my mom, work on my business, do MOPS, run errands, etc, and then I get two days a week where I'm JUST mommy to her, and we get to do stuff together. I'm able to volunteer at her school and do so much around the house, so I want that to continue even when she's in "real" school. My mom was able to pick me up from school and be home with snacks and homework help, and I absolutely loved it.
It's really hard for me to wrap my brain around the idea of the kids being in school. It seem so far-off but I know it will sneak up on us.
I currently work part-time from home. We've discussed the idea of my forming my own business doing what I currently do but it would require significant time so I wouldn't be able to do it now - Might try for it once the kids are in school.
If that doesn't work, I would continue doing what I'm doing. If my current job were to come to an end, I would probably try to find something to do which would fit in with my schedule. My priorities will be: Being home when the kids get home, being available if they get sick and I need to get them, volunteering as much as possible in their classrooms and being available to care for my DD and DH when they break (Both have a brittle bone disease).
It's hard for me to imagine a job allowing me that kind of flexibility (aside from what I currently do), and if I weren't able to, my being home (not working) would take precedence over the income generated from a traditional job.
So, I guess my answer is - We'll see.
What do you teach?
I work 20 hours/wk right now in a doctors office. I will probably continue those hours while the kids are in school. When they are really grown and out of the house, I may start working FT.
I actually WAH now and plan to stop working altogether in the next few years. DH's job is the type that will move him up in the company and with that will come a higher salary. We are extremely lucky that he is in the industry he is, it's not going anywhere, and his hard work will pay off in the next 3-5 years. When he got this position, we had this talk and decided that I would stay at home after the kids are in school to be available for them on sick days, holidays, vacation days, field trips, and in-class volunteering. I take care of everything around the house which will keep me busy when I am not doing kid-realted things, plus I have a few mom groups and friends wtih similarly aged kids to make plans with when we can. I never had the desire to be in the work world, I am much happier taking care of my house and family than I ever was working, it's just the way I'm wired.
I agree with the PP that mentioned how hard it is to a) find that "perfect" part time job and b) maintain it without constantly annoying your boss and coworkers with time off. That's one of the reasons I WAH now instead of an outside PT job, I can set my own hours without inconveniencing anyone else.
Joe and Ashley ~ June 16, 2007 ~ Olivia Rae ~ May 12, 2008 ~ 9:06 pm ~ 8lbs 4oz ~ 20.5 inches ~ Miscarriage of twins ~ April 16, 2009 at 6 weeks. ~ Surprise BFP 6/23/09 13DPO ~ Eleanor Rose ~ February 18, 2010 ~ 6lbs 15oz ~ 20 inches ~ Caroline Ruth ~ February 19, 2013 ~ 6lbs 12 oz ~ 19 1/4 inches
Our family is complete!