We have an Arm's Reach co-sleeper, but I'm open to whatever situation gets us all the best sleep
I'm just wondering about the logistics of bed sharing - specifically, does baby sleep under the blankets with you?
When I sleep, I pull the blankets up high and under my face... this just doesn't sound safe for an infant, obviously! Do bed sharing moms adjust how they sleep, swaddle baby on top of the comforter, or what?
Re: Bed sharing question from a FTM
He has always slept between me and the bedrail, and I wear a long-sleeve button-up cardigan over a nursing bra (super comfy Bravado bra) to sleep. I pull the blankets up to my waist and he has his own small blanket that he sleeps with over him (just up to his waist). It has always worked well for us. I've never been too worried about having one of his blankets over him, since I'm right there, but if that worries you at all, you could just dress him/her warm enough for bed without blankets (like many do for crib sleeping). I've never swaddled him while he's bedsharing b/c I want him to have his arms free to "defend" himself. He has never needed swaddling to sleep well when he's in our bed (we did swaddle from time to time for naps, or night sleep in the rock n play before we succumbed to full time bedsharing
).
If I do get chilled and want to be under the covers, I can scoot down (or scoot him up a little) so that his waist is about at my head level...but that rarely happens b/c he likes to snuggle up to me and nurse nurse nurse. The cardigan has generally been great for us though
I wear a sweatshirt or long-sleeved shirt to bed. Generally by the time they're 9-12 months, I will put a blanket up to their middle, but only if I'm in bed with them (if I'm not, then I'll put a baby blanket on them).
When they're tiny, I tend to nurse and then scoot away from them once they're asleep (we have a king-size bed), so I can have covers over me. Sometimes DH and I would each sleep with our own blanket, so DS1 would have a space without covers on him.
I also find that I tend to sleep facing the baby/toddler 99% of the time, and if we do fall asleep close together, my arm is around them, so there's no way I could roll over them (hopefully that makes sense).
This is a good link: https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
DH and I each have our own comforter on the (king-sized) bed so I sleep with it pulled up to my waist. I just dress DD warm enough for no blankets. She's usually snuggled into me and never feels cold. If I get cold, I sleep in a bathrobe with just one arm in (I sleep on my side so the underneath arm is usually warm enough). The other nice thing about that is the robe is thick enough that I can wad it up against my back for support.
We also sleep on a towel in case of spit up or drool when she falls asleep nursing
Here is a great resource for you...
https://nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/faq.html
This guy is THE expert on bed-sharing. Quick answers--when you share a bed with baby (or baby has access to your bed), you may sleep with 1 pillow and one blanket. The blanket should go no higher than your waist (or baby's waist), so dress yourself warmly if needed. Swaddling is not recommended for bed-sharing babies. Your heat will keep them warm, your arms will keep them cuddled, and they should have arms available to "defend" themselves if needed. That said, there can be exceptions. I had some physical limitations that meant I could not side-lay for 9 months after DS was born, so we did swaddle him and he slept in his side-carred crib at an angle to me so I could rest a hand on him, but we didn't cuddle up.
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