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F/U to Stupid Family

MarseeMarsee member
in Attachment Parenting

So DH volunteered last night (on his own!) to talk to his family about the ranch dressing incident because it was still really bothering him. He called MIL to say that DS was sick from the ranch dressing that BIL's gf had given him and that in the future we would like people to ask before giving DS any food. Well. . . that turned into "why do you always attack BIL?" and "we didn't do anything wrong" and "why do you have to be so strict with DS' diet?" and "I always let you boys try all kinds of food". Ugh. DH tried multiple times to tell her it wasn't about the food it was about respecting us and DS enough to ask us first. The final straw was when MIL accused DH of "turning on his family". Really? Because we don't want you to feed our baby junk food? Gah.

So thanks for the great suggestions, ladies, but it looks like the food battle has just begun. Indifferent I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, but if this sh!t happens again after we told them to stop, I have no problem cutting them off. Which is very unfortunate?this could have been easily resolved.

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Re: F/U to Stupid Family

  • rosiemommarosiemomma member
    I ran over a swooped my daughter out of my sisters hands when she 'jokingly' was going to give her some soda.... she acted like I was crazy tried to tell me to relax... I said "Can I give your son a cigarette?"(he was 11) she left me alone after that... maybe she thought I was overly obsessive about it but I don't care if you think I am crazy! I would be just as crazy if someone tried to drive with her without a car-seat if they think I am overbearing so be it my child's health and well-being are more important than your judgement.

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    Little Rose is 2 1/2.
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  • GMH1183GMH1183 member
    My ILs are always feeding junk to the babies of the family. They think it is funny. I am a no BS kind of person and I think that is enough to let them know that they better not try feeding ice cream to my 3 month old. Just for good measure, I do not leave DS unattended around my ILs. DS is one year old now and I have never even had a confrontation about this because I don't leave the possibility open. I often wear DS in a carrier or just hang around and chat with whoever is holding him. I was super worried about this but it has been no big deal.
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  • LaylaPartDeuxLaylaPartDeux member

    Oy.  That's frustrating. 

    I hope your MIL can someday see that this issue is not about her and not a personal attack on her; it's about your child and how you and your DH choose to parent him.  But it doesn't sound like she deals with logic well, so you could be fighting an uphill battle.

    Sorry you have to go through that.

    DS1 November 2009
    DS2 August 2012
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  • MarseeMarsee member
    imageLaylaPartDeux:

    . . . I hope your MIL can someday see that this issue is not about her and not a personal attack on her; it's about your child and how you and your DH choose to parent him. . .

    Yeah, this was a woman who I thought was pretty logical and level-headed, but since DS was born she has been practically certifiable. She threw a fit when we decided not to circ DS and had all the male family members on speed dial so they could tell us what a big mistake we were making. I don't know what's wrong with her, but a switch got flipped somewhere in her brain and now we have to walk on eggshells to avoid a fallout. Ugh. 

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  • admico821admico821 member
    OMG good luck!! That is super annoying! I would just not include her in any conversations about your son or any of you! l
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  • SandiaPinaMamaSandiaPinaMama member

    I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.  So annoying. 

    1) You're not alone in your feelings on this subject, or the battle with the family, and you are right.

    2) I never thought my family would be receptive to this, but they were: google 7 laws of grandparenting.  There are several articles and a book all floating around the Internet.  It revolutionized my relationship with my FIL.  It also made an improvement where MIL was concerned.

    3)  Once the new wears off your DS eating, I think they will be less obnoxious about this.  We did BLW, and at first, the grandmothers were all about trying to put food into his mouth "for" him, trying to use spoons, and trying to feed him crap.  They still try sometimes for food that I don't approve of, but it has DRASTICALLY improved in recent weeks.  Don't give up yet.  


    BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
    BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
    BFP#3 "Pineapple"  born 4/2013
    BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
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