Anybody else not feel comfortable with..

LyndseyLC · April 2012

DH/SO watching your LO?

I have always been a little worried when DH watches DD almost every Wed. for up to 6 hours when I am in class. He has not watched her for a few weeks and now that she is crawling I am so nervous. Yesterday he was sitting on our bed with LO as I was vacuuming our bedroom. and she was crawling near the end of the bed and fell off the bed ( she was fine, didnt get hurt) when he was right there inches away. doing nothing else.. He said I distracted him..but whatever. I asked him to watch LO so I could vacuum and he cant even freaking do that.. she even did the same thing almost falling off the bed like 2min before it actually happened so you would think he would be extra cautious. Sometimes I really dont know about DH... he is like another kid. always losing, miss placing things ect,.. We have discussed him watching her every Wednesday even when I go back to work when school is out but its too stressful for me, but I know I should get use to it.. especially if we have more kids. IDK...its sad..

swimiz500 · April 2012

I have to admit, yes. It was probably worse when DD was younger and he would fall asleep while holding her on the regular and I literally could not leave them alone together. But yes, I still worry. Half the time, when he is asleep, he doesn't hear her crying. He also always hits her head on stuff! I am supposed to go to Texas to visit a friend for a few days in the fall, but I honestly don't know if I can handle leaving them alone. I know what you mean, it is definitely stressful and frustrating!

StrikeGirl · April 2012

I can't relate to this because DH is absolutely amazing at being a father and sometimes makes me feel like I need to step up my game. BUT, maybe I can offer some help? Besides those couple examples, how is he generally with LO? How does he hold her? Does he pay attention when she's crying? Does he talk to her? Does he feed her? Change her? I mean, gosh, DH and I have both accidently let DS roll off the couch once each when we didn't realize how mobile he was getting! Big Smile Overall, though, is he pretty mindful? Voice your concerns to him and be constructive. Bring solid examples to the table and discuss it. You won't be able to concentrate on work if you are worried all the time.

Cindilouwho24 · April 2012

Dh has her on Mondays. He has been through it before when we had Logan. He watches her for 8-12 hours depending on my job for the day. When she was little I did get nervous. Now she is a lot easier and there are no worries.

katie4253 · April 2012

Heck no. He can watch him whenever he wants! That means I can: sleep, eat without watching a baby, get work done, or do something for myself.

That said, H has never shown me a reason to not trust him.

LnR70707 · April 2012

No...although there was a time when I felt like he'd just rush over to his parents and hand DS off to MIL whenever I left them alone. I told him that I wanted him and only him watching DS if I left him in charge, so we're on the same page now. I've never left DS with DH for more than a couple of hours though. I know he is a great Dad, but I really don't think he completely grasps just how much 24/7 childcare entails (ie, he's never had to accomplish shopping alone with DS).

katiewhompus · April 2012

katie4253:

Heck no. He can watch him whenever he wants! That means I can: sleep, eat without watching a baby, get work done, or do something for myself.

That said, H has never shown me a reason to not trust him.

This. He has her 6am-5pm at least one day a week and I don't worry.

boogerbearoriginal · April 2012

H is one of the few people I actually do trust with LO! In fact I bonked DS's head the other day against the wall because he decided to fling back while we were walking down the hall. Kids will fall, get hurt, etc. Stuff happens.

Unless you have reason to think he's seriously negligent, I'd let your H be a parent and do his thing. He won't parent the same way as you, and that's ok.

ghostof5letters · April 2012

When it comes to the two of us, my DH is the primary care giver and has been since she was born.

pettycrocker · April 2012

Not that I don't feel comfortable, but my H is always exhausted from working so much so I know he would fall asleep and wouldn't actually ever watch her. Half the time even when he's just in another room with her I have to keep checking to make sure he's not sleeping while she attempts to throw herself off the bed at random.

MISSMOLLY1214 · April 2012

katie4253:

Heck no. He can watch him whenever he wants! That means I can: sleep, eat without watching a baby, get work done, or do something for myself.

That said, H has never shown me a reason to not trust him.

This! Now when she was first born, he didn't feel comfortable watching her alone. Once he realized that she wouldn't break, I let him watch her as much as he wants to. He even takes her out on errands and has Daddy-Daughter days out.

dairygirl19 · April 2012

katie4253:

Heck no. He can watch him whenever he wants! That means I can: sleep, eat without watching a baby, get work done, or do something for myself.

That said, H has never shown me a reason to not trust him.

Word to this my friends.

I've learned that if I ever want to be me again, I have to let go a lot.

H takes great care of the child but he has a different tolerance for "okay" than I do. I've learned that's just fine. At the end of the day we're all still alive and the house is standing. He'd never intentionally hurt her and that's enough trust for me. After all, I watch her pretty carefully but sometimes I slip up and things happen too. I can't hold H to a standard of perfection I can't achieve either, kwim?

nbbride06 · April 2012

dairygirl19:
katie4253:

Heck no. He can watch him whenever he wants! That means I can: sleep, eat without watching a baby, get work done, or do something for myself.

That said, H has never shown me a reason to not trust him.

Word to this my friends.

I've learned that if I ever want to be me again, I have to let go a lot.

H takes great care of the child but he has a different tolerance for "okay" than I do. I've learned that's just fine. At the end of the day we're all still alive and the house is standing. He'd never intentionally hurt her and that's enough trust for me. After all, I watch her pretty carefully but sometimes I slip up and things happen too. I can't hold H to a standard of perfection I can't achieve either, kwim?

This. DH takes her on errands himself or to his office to visit his coworkers and I've never thought twice about it. He doesn't necessarily do things the way I would, but he's her dad so he's in charge too.

CocoBrynne · April 2012

I do worry, but it will get better as LO gets older, I'm sure. DH is a good dad, but sometimes he isn't quite as attentive as I feel he should be. I'm a huge worry wart and he is more chill like everything will be ok, type of attitude, whereas I think of worst case scenario.

ladybug122 · April 2012

CocoBrynne:
I do worry, but it will get better as LO gets older, I'm sure. DH is a good dad, but sometimes he isn't quite as attentive as I feel he should be. I'm a huge worry wart and he is more chill like everything will be ok, type of attitude, whereas I think of worst case scenario.

This. I trust SO but I still worry. I worry whenever DD isn't in my sight haha. But realistically, I know she is well cared for by her dad, even though he does things differently than I would.

Epiphany27 · April 2012

He has his own groove with DS that I wasn't accustomed to. It took a few weeks of him and DS alone 2x a week while I was in classes for them to click. I used to worry but now I savor the moments.

I do often come home to both of them just in their underwear watching football. Guy thing I suppose.

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