Stages of TTC?

kiek2009 · April 2012

Are there stages? It's been 6 months, so it hasn't been too long. But today's CD 1 of cycle #8 and when AF showed up this morning I had almost no reaction. I thought... well, at least I can have wine tonight. It was a surprise. I thought I'd be more upset like I was when other cycles began.

Am I entering a new stage of TTC? Is it like the stages of grief and I've hit the "acceptance" stage? How are you ladies doing? What stage are you hanging out in?

And to any ladies on CD 1... cheers

kellyrn9956 · April 2012

I have definitely gone through the phases of grief with IF.

I have been sad. I have bargained. I have been pissed off. I'm sort of at acceptance, but I go back and forth between the stages.

My disappointment every month started to wane a little around the year mark. Now, my period is no big deal, unless I've just done a treatment cycle. It's like, oh, here it is again.

Everybody goes through it differently. IDK. I just never was one to get upset about CD1.

katekat8721 · April 2012

I think I am in the acceptance stage. We're hitting cycle #9 and I'm just trying to guard my heart a bit more so I don't get so sad and disappointed when it's not our month.

I know it'll happen eventually and when it does it will be wonderful. Though at times I get discouraged, I'm still hopeful and I still get excited to think of the future. My mom always used to say "be kind to yourself". I am now just focusing on that... not beating myself up each and every month and just trying to go back to living life and not having it revolve around TTC every day.

Chin up girl Drinks

artroyer · April 2012

i'm only on month 4 so i still get anxious and upset sometimes. BUT usually if I get upset it's only for a couple minutes (now. maybe my grief stage was too short) and then I just feel tired - like tired of going through the motions and emotions. I know a lot of ladies have been trying much longer than this, but who doesn't wish for a BFP every month? If we didn't hope for it, we wouldn't be trying...

kiek2009 · April 2012

katekat8721:
I think I am in the acceptance stage. We're hitting cycle #9 and I'm just trying to guard my heart a bit more so I don't get so sad and disappointed when it's not our month.
I know it'll happen eventually and when it does it will be wonderful. Though at times I get discouraged, I'm still hopeful and I still get excited to think of the future. My mom always used to say "be kind to yourself". I am now just focusing on that... not beating myself up each and every month and just trying to go back to living life and not having it revolve around TTC every day.
Chin up girl

I like this idea! Thanks and gL!

jenaw84 · April 2012

We are in the 2ww of cycle 4, so it's still getting to me when I start my period, but I'm not testing early. The first two cycles I tested the day before or morning of my period and to me, that sucks more. It's the first let down of a BFN then another when my period comes and I realize I wasn't just testing early. I broke down when I started my last period, so I have no idea how I'll react this cycle. My period is expected to start the week after our 1 year wedding aniversary, so if nothing else we will be enjoying that and I'll have a few drinks!

lauriemel · April 2012

katekat8721:

I think I am in the acceptance stage. We're hitting cycle #9 and I'm just trying to guard my heart a bit more so I don't get so sad and disappointed when it's not our month.

I know it'll happen eventually and when it does it will be wonderful. Though at times I get discouraged, I'm still hopeful and I still get excited to think of the future. My mom always used to say "be kind to yourself". I am now just focusing on that... not beating myself up each and every month and just trying to go back to living life and not having it revolve around TTC every day.

Chin up girl

Moms have the best advice. I'm going to try to remember that one.

For me, as the months go by I freak out more. For the first 6 cycles, I figured "eh, it'll happen soon." Now that I am starting cycle 9, I feel that 1 year deadline creeping up on me.

MTiger13 · April 2012

Yup I feel there are stages of TTC. I am at the acceptance stage from about CD 1 till I O. After O I start getting excited again, till I test at about 10 DPO and every time I get my (-) I go right to acceptance. Its sad I'm waiting for the 1 year mark so I can start testing. I know impatience's is not infertility, but for some reason, I just know something's not right. Maybe everyone feels that way 10 cycles in. Sad

BellaLux · April 2012

katekat8721:

I think I am in the acceptance stage. We're hitting cycle #9 and I'm just trying to guard my heart a bit more so I don't get so sad and disappointed when it's not our month.

I know it'll happen eventually and when it does it will be wonderful. Though at times I get discouraged, I'm still hopeful and I still get excited to think of the future. My mom always used to say "be kind to yourself". I am now just focusing on that... not beating myself up each and every month and just trying to go back to living life and not having it revolve around TTC every day.

Chin up girl

Wow! I could have written this myself, no surprise that we are in the same place and TTC the same time. Good luck!

Sony22 · April 2012

Hi girls. I'm in the same boat. We hit the one year mark soon and yeah, when my period comes, i get sad but I shrug it off and think, hey, i can drink for a short while now...

ajetter · April 2012

We started trying in November, and I was really hoping to have a 2012 due date. When CD1 hit this cycle, it pretty much meant no baby in 2012. I was pretty upset for a few days, but now I feel like oh well. Now I'm in no rush. Obviously I want to be pregnant like yesterday, but now I don't feel as much anxiety about it. So I guess I'm hitting that acceptance stage too.

Juicy71 · April 2012

Cycle 7 started today and I was absolutely crushed. All of the cycles leading up to my BFP and m/c, I would always be bummed when I got a BFN or AF showed but for some reason it wasn't that upsetting. I think maybe I just never expected to see the BFP, I don't know. But trying again after the m/c, I really had my hopes up way high and was devastated to see the temp drop and have AF show... I woke my husband up bawling my eyes out (and yes, I know some of that is just AF hormones...). So I am definitely not in the acceptance phase and feel like I'm just now entering into the getting really upset stage. *sigh*

katekat8721 · April 2012

BellaLux:
katekat8721:

I think I am in the acceptance stage. We're hitting cycle #9 and I'm just trying to guard my heart a bit more so I don't get so sad and disappointed when it's not our month.

I know it'll happen eventually and when it does it will be wonderful. Though at times I get discouraged, I'm still hopeful and I still get excited to think of the future. My mom always used to say "be kind to yourself". I am now just focusing on that... not beating myself up each and every month and just trying to go back to living life and not having it revolve around TTC every day.

Chin up girl

Wow! I could have written this myself, no surprise that we are in the same place and TTC the same time. Good luck!

GL to you too girlie. Fingers (and toes) crossed for all of us!

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