Not feeling the love...

tahrna · April 2012

So I broke the news to my sister yesterday and she seemed not super excited about my pregnancy. She could not conceive herself and adopted five years ago. I knew she might be a little hurt, but I thought she would be a little more excited for me...not feeling the love from anyone in my family yet which has kind of ruined it for me. Anyone else dealing/feeling like this?

moosegal · April 2012

It might just take her a little bit of time to process everything and act as excited as you want her to. Adoption is a wonderful, wonderful thing, but it doesn't instantly heal all wounds left by IF.

milesc · April 2012

Although it sucks, try not to let ANYONE ELSE'S feelings towards YOUR pregnancy 'ruin' YOUR feelings about YOUR PREGNANCY/CHILD.

With your sister, I'm sure it will take time to sink in. I'm sure she can't help but be a tad jealous... I'm sure she'll come around. Give it time for it to sink it...

milesc · April 2012

moosegal:
It might just take her a little bit of time to process everything and act as excited as you want her to. Adoption is a wonderful, wonderful thing, but it doesn't instantly heal all wounds left by IF.

My IPad won't let me go back and edit, but I was going to say I didn't mean to sound like a bithc. Moose said it well... IF is heartbreaking. Give her time to accept it. I'm sure she is excited for you... But it has to sting a little (I'd imagine)

keiral · April 2012

moosegal:
It might just take her a little bit of time to process everything and act as excited as you want her to. Adoption is a wonderful, wonderful thing, but it doesn't instantly heal all wounds left by IF.

I agree with all of this.

chamommy · April 2012

I can completely sympathize with your situation. This is my 4th, and every time we announce that we are expecting, I feel like I am walking on eggshells as to how to tell my sister. She takes medication that can cause birth defects, and her drs. have advised her not to conceive and to be honest, she will admit that she doesn't really want children, yet she has a very hard time when others are pregnant. This time, I had decided to wait to tell her until she returns from vacation, but low and behold, I ran into her MIL in the waiting room before my Ultrasound and she told my sister she saw me there and my sister put 2 and 2 together....so now her feelings are hurt I hadn't told her yet (but I hadn't told anyone yet...)Sigh...its hard, but she always comes around and is an amazing aunt. I am sure your sister will warm up to the idea in her own time. I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to deal with infertility while others seem to have no problems getting pregnant. best of luck

karencz · April 2012

moosegal:
It might just take her a little bit of time to process everything and act as excited as you want her to. Adoption is a wonderful, wonderful thing, but it doesn't instantly heal all wounds left by IF.

Yes Well said. OP--I know it hurts, but give her a little time.

munchkinmommy09 · April 2012

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. The last time I was pg, my sister didn't speak to me the entire nine months. She's been a little better this time, but she's still really distant and it's still really early. She's been trying for almost a decade and has had two losses, so I get that it's hard for her. It's just also hard on this side when you want their support and it's not there. Surround yourself with those who are excited and supportive.

CarolinaGirl82 · April 2012

A little hurt??? Think about how much it must hurt her to realize that her sister is able to conceive, but she isn't. I can guarantee you she's spent a lot of time agonizing over why that is and how horribly unfair it is. Yes, it may hurt you that she's not jumping for joy, but she'll come around eventually and your pregnancy will be unaffected. Let her take her time and be sensitive to how incredibly painful and isolating infertility is.

tahrna · April 2012

Thank you everyone for the advice. As you can all see it was just weird because I am not getting the excitement I expected from my mother either...it is like everyone that is close to me is like "whatever", including my DH, while my acquaintances at work seem more interested in how I am feeling and what not. Since this is my first and I am over 35, I was hoping for a bit more support from the fam. I know my sister struggled with IF for years as her and her DH tried to conceive, so I am completely understanding of that - do not get me wrong there. It is just weird because I really feel alone sometimes in this while others are having to deal with overexcitement, I am on the opposite end.

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