Fourth Child Baby Shower..??

Blsd4given · April 2012

My BFF's fourth child (first for her DH) was born last week. Another friend of hers just asked me if anyone was throwing a baby shower for my BFF. The thought of throwing her a shower only briefly crossed my mind because... well... this is her fourth child, third daughter. And I had always heard that baby showers were only for the first child - or when the child is of a different gender that the others. The friend also suggested that maybe one should be thrown for my BFF's DH. She's stocked up pretty well on things from buying on sale and by making things.

But... What's the rule of thumb? Should I be throwing her another baby shower? Her last shower was three years ago when I threw her one for her third child, second daughter. And I did it then because I didn't get to throw her one for the other two.

Added: Come to think of it.. She did mention what great shower ideas she had for me when I have a child.... Since I'm not even remotely pregnant yet... Maybe she was hinting...??

AceTT · April 2012

I always thought showers were for the 1st child, regardless of sex. If someone has a girl first and chooses to register for a pink car seat, pink jumparoo, pink bouncer, pink etc. etc., then that's on her if her 2nd child is a boy and she doesn't want to use the pink stuff. She made the conscious decision to register for pink stuff knowing that in the future she may have a boy and may not want to put her baby boy in a pink car seat.

I know some people throw showers when the baby is a different gender, which they can do if they want, but in this case, your friend has 3 other children, including 2 girls. What could she possibly need?!

MommaKane · April 2012

I agree...I say no baby shower. I've always thought you only had one for your first, but it's your choice. I will not have a baby shower for my third bebe.

Beabs · April 2012

We did a diaper shower for a friend of mine who was pregnant with her 3rd girl. Everyone bring 2 packs of diapers (or wipes would work too I suppose). Mom gets half of the diapers and the other half get donated to a women's shelter. My friend even got some that she could use for one of her older daugthers that was still in diapers then, so it worked out great for everyone.

LollipopsAndCrisps · April 2012

A baby shower for a fourth child would just be tacky.

Beabs · April 2012

LollipopsAndCrisps:
A baby shower for a fourth child would just be tacky.

Says the gal drinking wine in the middle of the day.

MommaKane · April 2012

Beabs:
LollipopsAndCrisps:
A baby shower for a fourth child would just be tacky.

Says the gal drinking wine in the middle of the day.

Mmmmm......wine.

LollipopsAndCrisps · April 2012

Beabs:
LollipopsAndCrisps:
A baby shower for a fourth child would just be tacky.

Says the gal drinking wine in the middle of the day.

Don't be jealous. You can have some, too, if you want.

BlueEyes313 · April 2012

My mom had my sister and I and then my half-sister 10 years later with my step-dad....she was his first child. They hosted a co-ed "meet the baby" bbq since she was born during the summer. It wasn't intended as a "gift gathering" party...some people brought gifts, some didn't and it didn't matter. I was only 13 but I remember it being a great day.

TofuMama7 · April 2012

In my circle we've always thrown "sprinkles" as opposed to "showers" for moms who already have at least one. At a sprinkle people usually bring a smaller gift around a theme (frozen dinners to stock the mom's freezer, clothes if the new baby is a different gender). There usually isn't a registry or anything since they already have all the big stuff.

Leah112 · April 2012

I personally say one and done unless you had a baby 10 years ago and all the previous baby stuff you had is now gone and/or outdated. 4 baby showers is excessive to me but that is JMO. If you are set on doing a shower I would do a diaper and wipes shower since that is a huge cost to any new mom. Then since she will be saving on that stuff she can go out and buy and other baby items she wants on her own!

Kissimi21 · April 2012

A fourth shower would be tacky. In my circle, there's a shower for the first child, possibly one for a second child if it is of a different sex, and if there is a third, it's only because there has been a significant number of years between the new baby and the last (6 or 7+ years).

Beabs · April 2012

So if someone wanted to through you all a shower for kid number 2+, you'd turn it down? I mean, I'm sure you'd rather make sure you weren't being tacky than have your new baby be celebrated by your friends and family. For realz.

chickaboo1974 · April 2012

I am sorry- I am a firm believer that you only get a shower for your first child- doesn't matter to me if your first was a girl and your second was a boy- or that there was more than 3, 5 or 10 years between them. To me it is gift grabby and I do not attend.

chickaboo1974 · April 2012

GhostMonkey:

chickaboo1974:
I am sorry- I am a firm believer that you only get a shower for your first child- doesn't matter to me if your first was a girl and your second was a boy- or that there was more than 3, 5 or 10 years between them. To me it is gift grabby and I do not attend.

I hope you didn't have any mention of twins at yours. After all, your first born is the only one that should have received gifts.

Since they were my FIRST BORN yes there was mention of twins when we told everyone I was pregnant after 5 years and IF treatments.

Oh and I see it as not your first born receiving gifts- it is the parents receiving gifts for the use of raising your first, second,etc child....

JCWhitey · April 2012

Yeah, I disagree with most of the PPs. I don't understand this idea that only the first child can be celebrated. We have a baby shower for every kid in my family, including my Quiverfull cousins (5 kids in 7 years). To me, they never get old! We don't buy traditional gifts or anything. Sometime they are just BBQs and sometimes they are diaper parties or whatever. But, either way, we find it important to celebrate each and every child in our family and I love every one of them. Even if my family is extremely fertile and we seem to have a baby every 6-7 months.

bugandbibs · April 2012

Around here, we tend to have showers or some sort of party for every baby. I believe that every child deserves to be celebrated no matter what their birth order. My friends even threw us an adoption party shower when we got custody of DD1 when she was two years old.

Most people register for every baby although they don't really announce it. People who want to buy off of it can find it, and it's useful. I would rather spend my money on something they actually want/need. Something to keep in mind, not everything can be passed down. Things expire or wear out, get broken, or passed on to another family.

It's more like a birthday party IMO. People don't think it's being gift grabby to have a party every year, and those are for the same kid! Gasp! Who would want to buy a gift for the SAME person more than once?!

placentasinpajamas · April 2012

GhostMonkey:

I want these awesome houses everyone has that they are able to keep every last bit of baby gear between children.

You are under no obligation to throw one, or even attend if one is thrown. In some circles (like mine) it is extremely common to have one for every child. But no one buys big ticket items for showers ever. Most gifts are what people deem "acceptable" for sprinkles and meet the baby parties.

I hate the idea of a meet the baby party. Last thing I wanted a few weeks post baby was a bunch of germy people coming in my house to hold a newborn and I have to cook and entertain them. Fabulous plan.

Does your circle of friends also play games like "Decorate the Singlet" or "Who Can Raw Lift/Squat Snatch The Baby?"

I am sure no one is looking to use you as their benchmark for all things socially appropriate.

Attitude40784 · April 2012

I think this is funny because my sister has a 6 a 5 a 3 and a 1 year old and one on the way and she has either been giving a shower or threw herself one for each child and expects us to throw her one for this one because this one is a boy and the last boy she had was 5 years ago. I think this is ridiculous. One shower is all you should have unless it is like 5-10 years apart.I just read that someone said they had "sprinkles" that is a good idea. I just feel that if u have a baby almost every year and you don't have the consideration to take care of what u received as a gift you don't deserve another one.

Fourth Child Baby Shower..??

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