Success after IF

Feeling down... (long)

It feels really weird to write this, probably bc for sooo many years it was an unspoken "family secret" of sorts, but both of my parents are alcoholics. My dad was an unpleasant person, to say the least, so I have never had a relationship with him. 

I tried to maintain a relationship with my mom, but  the relationship deteriorated significantly over the years, because of her inability to stay clean, after being in and out of rehab.

When I was prego w DD, my sister and I had an "intervention" of sorts and after some convincing she agreed to do an outpatient program. My boundary with her was that if she started drinking again, I would no longer have a relationship with her, nor would she be allowed to have any sort of relationship w DD. Well, as is typical for my mom, she started drinking again, and I was finally able to prove it Christmas eve when she showed up smelling like she had drank an entire bottle of booze on the way to our house. 

Recently she asked my sister if she could have our new address to send my DD a bday gift, and I had to step in (bc I refuse to let my sis run interference bt us), to say no. It feels so crummy, i stand by my decision and believe it is the right thing for our family, but it just sucks.  

I feel like I just wish I had a healthy mom, that could be a part of our lives in a positive way.  Especially with DD2 on the way, i feel like i wish she could be a part of things. I don't know if she will ever see or know DD2, I don't know if she even knows its a girl or what her name will be. I feel so sad about the way things are. Anyway, thanks for letting me share...sorry for the downer! 

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Re: Feeling down... (long)

  • HUGS.  You are doing the right thing for your family.  If your mom is that toxic you dont need that. 
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  • I am sorry you are going through this. Have you gone to any al-anon meetings? Maybe some support from others in similar situations will help you get the support you need.

    (((hugs)))

    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
    After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
    <a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
  • imageJustaKidAtHeart:
    HUGS.  You are doing the right thing for your family.  If your mom is that toxic you dont need that. 

    I agree 100%.  big ((HUGS)) to you.  I'm sorry you are feeling down about the situation.

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  • It really sucks to be continually disappointed by the person who is supposed to always be there for you.  Alcoholism is awful for the whole family.  It divides families for sure.

    Even if you don't want to go to al-anon, it might be helpful to get a book or do some reading to help you through this. 

    How brave of you to have an intervention.  I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

  • I'm so very, very sorry.  That such a hard spot to be in.  I admire your strength and I hope your mom will come round and clean up.   Meantime i think -as hard as it is- youre doing the right thing by holding your ground.   And its wonderful of you to not push it off to your sister, and tacke it head on.   Addiction is an ugly beast.   

    Big hugs 

    Our IVF Miracle Arrived 2.26.11! <a href="http://s790.photobucket.com/albums/yy188/KikiGee/?action=view
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