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June 2012 Moms
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My grandma isn't coming to the Shower

PregNerdPregNerd
in June 2012 Moms

The shower is today, in the same city where she lives. This is my mother's mother for clarification. She told us last night when we were all at my aunt's for Easter dinner - apparently her leg isn't doing so well - which is total BS.

I get that she didn't come to the wedding a few years ago because it was 5hrs away, but this is in the city she lives in! And the shower is at my mother's house - where she goes all the time. 

I was so hurt when she told me that she wasn't coming - I had to leave the dinner table and go collect myself because I didn't want her to see me cry. I don't understand - she was well enough (and mobile enough) to go do Easter dinner last night, but can't handle a 2hr shower today? To be clear - she has all her mental faculities and still lives on her own - she may be old but is in no way infirmed or incapable.

I'm very hurt that she is choosing not to come - the only barrier to her being here is herself.  My family is really good about doing things like picking her up, dropping her off, making sure she has a dedicated chair and is very comfortable while she is anywhere.

I'm trying to look on the bright side, to focus on the people that care enough to show up and the work my mom has put into today. I just feel rejected...

 

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Re: My grandma isn't coming to the Shower

  • rmwest87rmwest87 member
    I feel you. Neither one of my grandmothers are coming to mine and also by choice, not limitations. Sorry! hope you have a good shower
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  • Gismo123Gismo123 member
    I know how you feel....almost.my whole family isn't coming to my shower because it's "too far" ya...it's only 30min. from them and 4 hours from me. They pulled the same crap with my bridal shower. I'm sorry she got you so upset but try not to let her lazyness ruin your happy day!
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  • jamiah18jamiah18 member

    Aww, that stinks! Im so sorry that you are upset on your big day.  Like you said, try to enjoy the people that are coming.  

    Hope you have a great shower!!:) 

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  • rissa_nrissa_n

    I'm sorry, that has to hurt :(

    If it makes you feel any better, I will probably have fewer than 10 people at my shower/sprinkle party next weekend because my procrastinator sister didn't mail  the invites till last monday so no one knew about it in time.   I'm kind of sad (not because of presents, that part makes me kind of uncomfortable, but because I was really hoping to have a fun coed party and spend time w/ friends/family I haven't seen in awhile).

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  • octbride3octbride3
    Ugh!  Don't these people remember what it was like to be pregnant and emotional?  So sorry:(
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  • MrsL8487MrsL8487 member
    I'm right there with you. My grandma, aunt, best friend of 14 years, and almost all of my dh's family aren't coming by choice. I just cried my eyes out to my husband because my "best friend" isn't coming to the shower because she doesn't like to drive on the highway...SERIOUSLY?? Grrrr
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  • JessieCupcakeJessieCupcake member
    I'm sorry. :( I would be hurt too. I hope you still had a fun time at your shower today.
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  • thebokitheboki member
    My sister is the only one in my family coming.  And she's flying in from Portland.  Nobody else will be there except friends. 
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  • jen812jen812 member

    I'm sorry. 

    Is it possible your grandma doesn't like crowds or feels it might be too stuffy in your mom's house? Is there anyone coming she doesn't like? Just trying to think of possible reasons... 

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  • CYBURRCHICCYBURRCHIC member
    Curious what your Mom thinks of it.
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    8/2011 IUI#2 w/225 Follistim/Ovidrel trigger BFN
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  • PregNerdPregNerd

    My mom is super pissed about this - she sees my grandma at least once a week. If there is something that my grandma wants - or something where grandma will be the center of attention - she is all over it and nothing will stop her from being there. But - since it would be hard for her to make my shower about her - she doesn't want to be there. Or at least that is how my mom sees it.

    Thus, she has asked my aunt (her sister) to not tell grandma anything about the shower - if she didn't want to be there she doesn't need to know how awesome it was or about the firefighters that put in a guest appearance.   

    It ended up being a tonn of fun - and I did focus on how loved and special those who did choose to attend made me feel.

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  • jen812jen812 member
    Firefighters? Um, what kind of shower was this? Baby shower/bachelorette?
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  • JessieCupcakeJessieCupcake member
    imagePregNerd:

    My mom is super pissed about this - she sees my grandma at least once a week. If there is something that my grandma wants - or something where grandma will be the center of attention - she is all over it and nothing will stop her from being there. But - since it would be hard for her to make my shower about her - she doesn't want to be there. Or at least that is how my mom sees it.

    Thus, she has asked my aunt (her sister) to not tell grandma anything about the shower - if she didn't want to be there she doesn't need to know how awesome it was or about the firefighters that put in a guest appearance.   

    It ended up being a tonn of fun - and I did focus on how loved and special those who did choose to attend made me feel.

    I am glad you still had a good time! 

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