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June 2012 Moms
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I thought I had heard it all...REALLY?!

theabbey5theabbey5
in June 2012 Moms

I'm used to the comments by now and have found ways to either ignore them or deflect them gracefully...however this morning I was taken aback!  Bless this little man's heart...he knows no better...he is like 93 years old and a resident at my community so I can't get upset with him...but he walked into my office and said..."How overweight are you now?"....um.....

So I calmed myself before responding and said "Well, I'm not overweight, I'm carrying a baby and yes I have gained weight"...then he asks me how much I weigh.  I said "It isn't polite to ask a lady how much she weighs"...he says "Well I want to know how much that baby is going to weigh." I said "well, that has nothing to do with how much I weigh.  The baby will probably be around 6-9 lbs like a normal baby"  Then he proceeded to say "well you're in a bad mood"...REALLY??!!!!

My patience is wearing thin..... 

Lionyl Osborne "Lio" is here! May 23rd 2012 at 2:54am 8lbs 4oz 21inches Born at 37weeks 6days
DD #1 born 9/3/2003 - 8 years old - 3rd grade!
DD #2 born 3/22/2007 - 5 years old - in full time preschool

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Re: I thought I had heard it all...REALLY?!

  • Davesgrl2011Davesgrl2011 member

    Older people (and I am not talking dementia or alzheimers in which case they have an excuse for not being tactful or caring about others feelings) often feel they have the right to make personal comments.  I went to a birthday dinner for a friend of mine, and his whole family was there.  His sister is overweight, but not obese (not that it makes a difference).  The grandmother (who still lives on her own, although she doesn't drive anymore) is in her late 80s' and was constantly harping on this girls weight, what she was eating, how she wasn't going to "find a man" looking like that.  The girl was in tears.  The mother told the grandmother to leave her alone, and the grandmother was like "I'm just telling her that for her own good."  I really wanted to stick up for this girl without being rude to the grandmother, so I joked about how much weight I had gained and how I felt like a moose, but couldn't stop eating because the dinner was just that good!  And the grandmother said that it didn't matter how fat I got because I was married and no one was looking at me anymore.  WTF? 

    I think old people count on the fact that no one will be rude to them because they are old.  But jeez, tact isn't just for the young!   

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  • Linds1027Linds1027 member
    Oh man! lol! You handled that better than I would have! Bless his little old man heart, but come on! 
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  • HeartceaseHeartcease member
    You handled that very well.  I agree with PP about some people just being without tact.  My grandmother has always made comments like that as well, especially to my mother, and until recently, she didn't have any excuse other than rudeness.  Always made me so mad, my Mom is great.
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  • amy5162amy5162
    I think you answered it perfectly!
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  • Sawyerplus1Sawyerplus1 member
    Oh dear :( At least you handled it like a champ! 
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  • cchill01cchill01 member
    Yeah, there's some weight bias thing with the older generation.  Yesterday, my SIL specifically asked her mother to leave my brother alone about the weight he's gained since he quit smoking.  Not an hour later, someone says that my brother and I look alike...and SIL's Mom chimes in that we have the same belly.  Then everyone is asking him when he's due.  Not cool, are we trying to drive him back to cigarettes?
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  • FutureNicholsFutureNichols
    And then Mr. Johnson had an unfortunate trip down the stairs.  Damn these hormones.  I am in "such a bad mood" LOL
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  • HeartceaseHeartcease member

    imageFutureNichols:
    And then Mr. Johnson had an unfortunate trip down the stairs.  Damn these hormones.  I am in "such a bad mood" LOL

    That's so mean, but I can't stop laughing. 

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  • lizzybeanlizzybean member

    I've never understood why old people are so rude sometimes. I think they feel like they've "earned the right" or something.

    I was a teller at a bank until one year ago. Two years ago I got married, my clients knew this, and I proceeded to get a ton of "when are you due?" questions, just because I put on the slightest bit of weight after the wedding. One old woman asked this, I said, as calmly as I could, that I was not pregnant, and then she said to me, "Oh, is it just your time of the month then? You're looking pretty bloated." My response? "Nope! Guess Im just fat!!!" She was shocked at my response. Really? What did she expect me to say?! Sigh. 

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