"Why can't you just give him formula?"

retallica · April 2012

LO is 3 weeks old today and is EBF. He has been doing great so far is gaining weight like crazy. The past 2 days or so he has been fussier than usual and wanting to nurse all the time, especially in the evenings.

I was assuming this was possibly just a growth spurt or fussy stage, but everyone in my family that comes to visit (none of them breastfed or have any experience breastfeeding) insist that he isn't getting enough to eat and that his crying/evening fussy spells these past days are because he is starving. We just went to his 2 week check up last week and he had already passed up his birth weight by almost a pound and a half, and has plenty of wet/poop diapers every day.

Today my mom came over and I was feeding him & trying to soothe him and she just looked at me and said, "Why can't you just give him formula?" I am just getting so frustrated because I feel like I have no support IRL besides my husband of course, and the people criticizing me know nothing about breastfeeding or how it works.

I just want some reassurance that I am doing the right thing here, and that I am not totally wrong in thinking it may be a growth spurt?

sweetky_06 · April 2012

3 weeks old is a notorious growth spurt (the next one is 6 weeks) - keep doing what you are doing - keep him on your breast! You are doing a great job!

Here's great info on Kellymom about growth spurts - maybe you could print it out and give it to your mom?

https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurts/

mabst196 · April 2012

Sounds like a growth spurt. Don't listen to the naysayers.

AmyRI · April 2012

I agree, it's the 3 week growth spurt. You're doing everything right.

And most babies get fussy at night, regardless of how they are fed. If he was also screaming all day long, then maybe he was really hungry - but hunger doesn't magically disappear in the day light.

Keep it up, mama! You're doing great. Try to reach out and find other breastfeeding moms - local hospitals' LC's often host breastfeeding support groups, and you could look into La Leche League. I found that half of a generic "new moms group" locally also breastfed, so I met some supportive friends that way, too.

willflu · April 2012

You are doing the right thing and it most likely is a growth spurt, if I remember correctly they usually do go through a growth spurt around 4 weeks. I do feel your frustration, I had a similar situation with my first DD, nobody in my family EBF and nobody understood. I would get comments about why can't I just give her formula and I would just say because I don't want to. I made a committment to do this and unless I have to I'm not going to. I see nothing wrong with people that do give their kids formula but it isn't what I chose. I think the most important thing is that your husband is supportive. I couldn't have made it through without MH.

shotzie · April 2012

You are doing great. I agree, it sounds like a growth spurt. And it's common for newborns to be fussy in the evenings, it's called the "witching hour." You know LO is getting enough to eat if they're gaining well and making enough diapers - sounds like you're fine there. In addition to the kellymom link the pp gave, kellymom also has info on dealing with unsupportive family/friends, you might want to check it out. Hang in there, your LO is doing fine and you're doing what's best for him!

mlee116 · April 2012

I agree with the PP's that its a growth spurt. The 3 week was rough...my LO wanted to eat constantly and was so fussy for 2-3 days. Then it was gone and he was back to normal. It's totally normal (and good) for them to do this. We're going through the 6 week one now!

When I get discouraged about BF, I just focus on the facts: my baby is having plenty of wet/dirty diapers, he's gaining plenty of weight, he's healthy at his doctor's appts, etc. Based on those facts, my baby doesn't need formula..he's doing great on my breastmilk! I also focus on the positive feedback I get from LO's doctor's instead of the naysayers who usually don't even know what they're talking about.

You're doing a great job and you are doing a wonderful thing for your baby. Keep nursing through the growth spurt and your hard work will show when all of a sudden he doesn't fit in those same clothes anymore .

Ashley&Scott · April 2012

You are totally doing the right thing, keep it up! Sounds like a growth spurt, as someone mentioned the witching hour is also very common, it has nothing to do with bfing.

I agree with pp, you need to respond to the formula comments. I would be livid at formula suggestions.

KatieMarie27 · April 2012

I EP and DD still is fussy even though I KNOW she is getting enough to eat. Sometimes babies are just fussy.

Keep going with the EBF - those other people can piss off. You should start citing the health benefits of BM & how much it helps lower healthcare costs, etc...
Also remind them about that baby that died not too long ago which was linked to formula.

retallica · April 2012

Thank you ladies! That was definitely what I needed to hear. I will keep doing what I am doing! Smile

I agree about needing to be more confident and learning to keep the naysayers in check. It is just so overwhelming sometimes being a FTM and feeling like you really are doing the right thing!

Thanks again ladies!

pumpkinwife07 · April 2012

"Also remind them about that baby that died not too long ago which was linked to formula."

That's a little over the top, don't you think KatieMarie? There are lots of women on here who suppliment or will need to switch over to formula for one reason or another. Two wrongs don't make a right.

pinkzebraprint · April 2012

I would straight up educate them on the subject! Just tell her that a growth spurt is expected at 3 weeks and that the baby is EXPECTED to want to stay on the breast more often and longer! Completely, 100% normal. Remind her that your baby has gained plenty of weight and that you feel that bf this is the right decision for you and your baby!

iluvmylab · April 2012

pumpkinwife07:
"Also remind them about that baby that died not too long ago which was linked to formula."

That's a little over the top, don't you think KatieMarie? There are lots of women on here who suppliment or will need to switch over to formula for one reason or another. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Wow. I'm pretty sure it was the water, not the formula.

As others have said, keep doing what you are doing. Growth spurt, cluster feeding, etc, it's all normal and baby is fine if you are counting diapers. Haters gonna hate!

MuseumMaven · April 2012

As the PPs have all said, three weeks is a big growth spurt. You are doing a great job - keep it up!

I had my mom with me for the three week growth spurt and she BFed, so she was super-suppportive. Then my in-laws arrived in time for the six week and drove me nuts. My FIL was SO critical. But I actually found it gave me confidence to stick up for DH's and my parenting decision.

Also, telling him that BFing twins for 1 year would save us around $3,000 shut him up.

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