Anxiety

Mandiemn · April 2012

I go back to work tomorrow for the first time since. I'm not emotionally ready to deal with any questions...of course, I don't think I'll ever be.

Any advice or words of wisdom?

danaunclaw · April 2012

I had a colleague send a mass email to everyone possible that said pretty much don't talk to Dana about it unless she opens the topic. It has worked WONDERS. I'm 2 months out and people I see regularly don't really say anything. It's nice to not have to tell the whole story every 5 minutes...unless I want to, and then they WILL listen, dammit.

. Also, if someone brings it up, says something out of line or oversteps, speak up. Immediately set boundaries. I hope your day goes smoothly.

paisleybaby33 · April 2012

You will be in my prayers tomorrow for sure. I remember going back to work after everything and how horribly I was dreading it. The best advice I can give you is, go easy on yourself. Let yourself be miserable and sad if you need to be. Answer any questions as vaguely or detailed as you want and don't feel guilty about how you may or may not affect others. If you need to leave, then leave. If you need to run to the ladies room for a cry, do it. I am sending huge hugs your way. I remember MH told me this when I had to go back and while it annoyed me at first, I realized he was right. He told me that I was going to have to go back eventually, so the sooner I did it, the sooner the first day back would be over. Its like ripping off a band-aid. It hurts and sucks, but at least the initial dread of what it will be like will be over. Good luck, sweets.

shellyco · April 2012

No words of wisdom, just huge HUGS and good vibes sent your way. And if you need to cry at work, in front of all your coworkers, do it. Don't hold it in for the sake of their feelings, and be good to yourself!

HopingforChange · April 2012

danaunclaw:
I had a colleague send a mass email to everyone possible that said pretty much don't talk to Dana about it unless she opens the topic. It has worked WONDERS. I'm 2 months out and people I see regularly don't really say anything. It's nice to not have to tell the whole story every 5 minutes...unless I want to, and then they WILL listen, dammit. . Also, if someone brings it up, says something out of line or oversteps, speak up. Immediately set boundaries. I hope your day goes smoothly.

This is sort of what I did for my BFF (who worked with me) when her mom died. People knew she was sick but not that she had passed away. I told them all so they wouldn't ask my friend. No one mentioned it to her, really, so I guess it worked. Is there someone who could do this for you?

I am SO sorry you are dealing with this, and I hope tomorrow goes better than you anticipate.

GatorBaby2012 · April 2012

No advice, just ((hugs)).

jinxycat24 · April 2012

I don't have any advice other than don't be too hard on yourself. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow and sending T&P's.

kal42672 · April 2012

I know its hard that first day back to work but each day will get easier. When I went back to work no one said anything unless I brought it up which was good. Just try to be strong and when you are working your mind is occupied. I think the hardest part is before work and after the first day back. I hope everything goes ok for you and that it goes by fast. Hugs!!

pkaren · April 2012

I was lucky to have a co-worker who has also experienced loss volunteer to tell everyone what happened and to NOT talk to be about my loss. I knew that people knew and they were very respectful to not mention anything unless I did. I even had a few co- workers who I wasnt close with reach out and let me know they they had "been there" and if I needed to talk, vent, hit things, etc, they were there for me. If you have anyone you can deligate this task to, it might help? GL I'll be thinking about you tomorrow! (hugs)

Missuskeekers · April 2012

I am still off since my last loss but for my first one I had my rehabilitation manager (basically the guy that tries to get you to go back to work) tell my manager to tell everyone to leave me alone. It worked well for me.

EKGibs · April 2012

maddielynn321:

I'll be praying for you all day! I like PP's comment about the coworker sending out a mass email.

this. hope you have a good day! (((hugs))))

JennOH85 · April 2012

GL to you today, dear! No advice, just sending ((hugs)) and good vibes your way. On my first day back, I made it through the day, but completely broke down on the drive home. It's exhausting, so don't put any unnecessary pressure on yourself. I just avoided as many people as possible (kept my office door shut all day and pretty much only left for classes and to run to the bathroom), although I'm not sure I'd recommend that because I've pretty much been avoiding people since. I hope the day goes by quickly for you!

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · April 2012

I have no specific advice, as I didn't avoid talking about it, but I do like the pp advice about an email going out before you return. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

funny bunny · April 2012

*Hugs*

I hope today no one tries to talk to you about this.

I have no words to offer you wisdom, but I will be thinking of you today.

kristina_1016 · April 2012

Just wanted to say I was thinking of you today and hoping that your day is going as well as could be expected.

AngnShaun · April 2012

danaunclaw:
I had a colleague send a mass email to everyone possible that said pretty much don't talk to Dana about it unless she opens the topic. It has worked WONDERS. I'm 2 months out and people I see regularly don't really say anything. It's nice to not have to tell the whole story every 5 minutes...unless I want to, and then they WILL listen, dammit. . Also, if someone brings it up, says something out of line or oversteps, speak up. Immediately set boundaries. I hope your day goes smoothly.

This is a great idea if you do not want to talk about it. I had my mom do the same thing with my family. Unfortunately they all found out really early with my ectopic and they were all calling to congratulate me. I knew at least some would call to send condolences. I told my mom to email everyone and tell them i dont want phone calls. and a bunch of people emailed her back and she told me when i was ready she would forward me the emails.

foxxy1 · April 2012

I'm late responding; I hope your day is going smooth.

My advice: take your time and ease back into it. If there's a quiet place you can go and cry, do that. I was fortunate enough where I had several people offer me their offices to hide and I took advantage of that more times than I can count.

Be prepared to have people say some really stupid things. They're not trying to be insensitive; they just don't know how to act. Also be prepared to see people look at your stomach to see if you're really not pregnant anymore (yes, that's happened to me a few times).

I wish you peace and strength.

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