some kind of update to missing babysitter

rosesandpeonies · April 2012

We went by her house. Noone was home. everything looked perfectly fine from the outside. I called her again today...no answer. I emailed her too just in case she has a phone issue. Police won't do anything since I am not a relative and it is a free country she is allowed to not show up at work. So I guess I just sit and wait.I am going to call her references tomorrow just to see what they say.

I guess in the end it is possible she just quit...but I have no clue why. nothing happened on Friday and she was talking about how excited she was to bring my girls to the movies the next day. I am devastated pretty much because I don't know what to do. I know it sounds strange because she is a babysitter but I have some serious anxiety about this.

I know some people might flake out but usually they call and say something and then just never call again...this just doesn't make sense.

So my next plan is to just call the references tomorrow.

ETA: I did call one of them today but there was no answer. It is Easter so I get why that may be. I am going to go ride over there again after I put my girls in bed and see if there is anyone home. My husband can watch the girls.

If not. Tomorrow I am going to try to call the references again, police again, and the family members numbers that we found online again. I don't want to stalk but I have to make sure she is alright.

ASmallWonder · April 2012

Honestly, I'd leave her a voicemail saying that you're going to call her references as a way to check on her well being. Let her know that if she's ok, she should reach out to you and let you know because you're worried (I know you already left her a message to that effect but in this one, point out that you're taking the next step). Then I'd start calling her references TONIGHT. TBH, if you truly are worried for her safety, I wonder why you're so hesitant to make those phone calls. You don't have to be crazy alarmist with them. Just state the facts, tell them how worried you are and acknowledge that she could have quit but you just don't get the feeling that's what this is and could they please check on her if they have a way.

Ecomom17 · April 2012

elmoali:
Honestly, I'd leave her a voicemail saying that you're going to call her references as a way to check on her well being. Let her know that if she's ok, she should reach out to you and let you know because you're worried (I know you already left her a message to that effect but in this one, point out that you're taking the next step). Then I'd start calling her references TONIGHT. TBH, if you truly are worried for her safety, I wonder why you're so hesitant to make those phone calls. You don't have to be crazy alarmist with them. Just state the facts, tell them how worried you are and acknowledge that she could have quit but you just don't get the feeling that's what this is and could they please check on her if they have a way.

Ditto this. I don't get the hesitation, either.

It sounds like she had some sort of personal crisis (death in the family, relationship crisis, who knows), which would be a legitimate reason for not responding to phone calls. Or maybe she's a giant flake who suddenly drops out of commitments. Wouldn't you rather know for sure that she's at least okay?

ETA: have you tried to get in touch with her on Facebook? Seems like the easiest way these days to know if anything's going on.

rosesandpeonies · April 2012

There is no hesitation...I called one of the references and noone answered I mentioned that in one of the posts below. It is Easter. I will try again in the morning and try to call the rest of them. Im doing the best that I can. My husband called all the numbers he found for her family. Noone answered.

Ecomom17 · April 2012

rosesandpeonies:
There is no hesitation...I called one of the references and noone answered I mentioned that in one of the posts below. It is Easter. I will try again in the morning and try to call the rest of them. Im doing the best that I can. My husband called all the numbers he found for her family. Noone answered.

Sorry, I guess some of us misread your tone. And missed that you called one of her refs. Embarrassed I think if none of her family members answered, it's kind of sounding more like something family-related happened. Not that I know, just guessing. Well, I know I'd be just as worried if I were in your shoes--hope everything is OK with her.

rosesandpeonies · April 2012

Ecomom17:
rosesandpeonies:
There is no hesitation...I called one of the references and noone answered I mentioned that in one of the posts below. It is Easter. I will try again in the morning and try to call the rest of them. Im doing the best that I can. My husband called all the numbers he found for her family. Noone answered.

Sorry, I guess some of us misread your tone. And missed that you called one of her refs. I think if none of her family members answered, it's kind of sounding more like something family-related happened. Not that I know, just guessing. Well, I know I'd be just as worried if I were in your shoes--hope everything is OK with her.

No its ok. Im slightly a mess and I should have explained all of that again

rosesandpeonies · April 2012

so I drove by the house and noone is home still. We just tried to call again...we haven't even called her that much. only a handful of times and now we are getting a automated message, both my husband and I that says

The person that you are trying to reach is not accepting phone calls at this time

anyone know if this means that she didn't pay a bill or if she blocked us or another reason??

rosesandpeonies · April 2012

mbenit4:
rosesandpeonies:
anyone know if this means that she didn't pay a bill or if she blocked us or another reason??
Depending on her carrier it could mean the phone is off/dead from battery not being charged.
Maybe I missed something but what were you hoping to find out by calling her references?

Well she still sometimes babysits for them...so I was hoping they may know something more.

FullHeartMama · April 2012

mbenit4:
rosesandpeonies:
anyone know if this means that she didn't pay a bill or if she blocked us or another reason??
Depending on her carrier it could mean the phone is off/dead from battery not being charged.
Maybe I missed something but what were you hoping to find out by calling her references?

This. Makes me slightly more worried about the situation. Did you say that she lived with family or does she live alone?

rosesandpeonies · April 2012

FullHeartMama:
mbenit4:
rosesandpeonies:
anyone know if this means that she didn't pay a bill or if she blocked us or another reason??
Depending on her carrier it could mean the phone is off/dead from battery not being charged.
Maybe I missed something but what were you hoping to find out by calling her references?
This. Makes me slightly more worried about the situation. Did you say that she lived with family or does she live alone?

She lives with her parents I believe, but they do travel. I know she speaks to them often because she has asked if it was alright to take their phone calls.

FullHeartMama · April 2012

rosesandpeonies:
FullHeartMama:
mbenit4:
rosesandpeonies:
anyone know if this means that she didn't pay a bill or if she blocked us or another reason??
Depending on her carrier it could mean the phone is off/dead from battery not being charged.
Maybe I missed something but what were you hoping to find out by calling her references?
This. Makes me slightly more worried about the situation. Did you say that she lived with family or does she live alone?
She lives with her parents I believe, but they do travel. I know she speaks to them often because she has asked if it was alright to take their phone calls.

I'm sorry you're going through this situation. I really hope you get some (good) news soon. Please keep us posted! We're all concerned as well!

Chelz · April 2012

I would be really worried, too. Just be aware of your safety as well, since you don't know what happened. I would want to go to her house too, as you did, and I know your hubby was watching the kids, but just as a precaution, do you have a friend or someone to go with you if you go to her house again?

I personally had 3 friends drop off the face of the earth with no explanation.

It all happened after I got married. It was so bizzarre. Five years later: one I've never heard from and she blocked me on FB, one I just reconnected on FB with (and I still don't know her story), and the 3rd I'm pretty sure had issues with drugs and I think has been in and out of rehab, but I haven't confirmed.

MrsSR · April 2012

Did you leave a note for her on her door?

rosesandpeonies · April 2012

Chelz:
I would be really worried, too. Just be aware of your safety as well, since you don't know what happened. I would want to go to her house too, as you did, and I know your hubby was watching the kids, but just as a precaution, do you have a friend or someone to go with you if you go to her house again?

I personally had 3 friends drop off the face of the earth with no explanation.

It all happened after I got married. It was so bizzarre. Five years later: one I've never heard from and she blocked me on FB, one I just reconnected on FB with (and I still don't know her story), and the 3rd I'm pretty sure had issues with drugs and I think has been in and out of rehab, but I haven't confirmed.

I just drove by. I didn't stop or anything. I wouldn't have anyway by myself. I actually know the neighborhood, etc. and its okay there. Noone was home anyway. I agree people can be strange. In the end I just hope that she is fine regardless of what the end result is. I have terrible anxiety anyway and this kind of made it ten fold. Thank you for the stories it kind of made me feel better that it can happen and maybe nothing is terribly wrong. ugh! I just couldn't imagine why she would make all of these plans to go see Peppa Pig with us and then not show up when she has always called when she was 2 minutes late. I am hoping her phone issues get resolved tomorrow and she calls with some explanation and she is ok.

vlagrl29 · April 2012

This kind of thing freaks me out! my stbx several years ago dropped off the earth like that, we were not really talking at the time obviously cause we were separated. His friends started calling me to see if i had heard from him. He liked to "party" so i didn't really thing anything of him not calling his friends back but after a couple days I just knew i had to act on my gut feeling. Turns out he had an accidental overdose and was in the house for 5 days before i had called the cops to do a wellness check that they said they couldn't do because i didn't have keys so his friend ended up breaking in and found him......didn't mean to freak you out but I'm sure this is not the case, she may just be out of town.

ASmallWonder · April 2012

Ecomom17:
rosesandpeonies:

There is no hesitation...I called one of the references and noone answered I mentioned that in one of the posts below. It is Easter. I will try again in the morning and try to call the rest of them. Im doing the best that I can. My husband called all the numbers he found for her family. Noone answered.

Sorry, I guess some of us misread your tone. And missed that you called one of her refs. I think if none of her family members answered, it's kind of sounding more like something family-related happened. Not that I know, just guessing. Well, I know I'd be just as worried if I were in your shoes--hope everything is OK with her.

Ditto OP. Sorry - that was my bad. I hope you're able to find out what's going on, just so that you don't have to worry.

KJmashup · April 2012

This is very worrisome, indeed. I'm sorry. I really hope everything is okay with her. Please continue to keep us updated.

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