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mschocokitty
member
Is the RSVP dead? NBFR
mschocokitty
member
Today was SD's birthday party. We sent invitations out to some of her school friends last Thursday (more than a week ago). None of her school friends showed up, which really disappointed her. I understand that it is the holiday weekend and the kids were on Spring Break this week, but not a single parent called to RSVP. I don't have the contact information of the other parents. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but even a polite "we can't make it" would be fine. The only other time we ever had a party that required an RSVP was our wedding- people seemed to respond to that just fine. For those of you more experienced at the kids' party thing- Is the RSVP dead? Should I not get my hopes up about an accurate head count for next few years or is this situation unusual?
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Re: Is the RSVP dead? NBFR
I want to preface that I believe that people have gotten lazy and rude when it comes to RSVPs. When a host(ess) invites you to an event with free food, games, entertainment, etc the least you can do is give them heads up if you are going to attend.
But with the advent the wedding and birthing industries, the push to have every single person you know attend the event has pushed the data collecting on the host. If you don't hear from someone by the RSVP cut off...you now CALL to check up on them.
Before, if there wasn't a yes...it was a no. And the invitee did not get the dinner or in the case of kids parties, the goodie bag and/or entrance fee.
Now we have extras JUST IN CASE.
I will not lie, I am a hard ass that goes one more step. I send paper invites and ONE evite, but after that if I do not a response, I take it as a no. And I do not provide a back up plan.
Yep, last year I did not pay for two teens entrance to SS's pool, with one having to borrow money from one of the other kids becuase he didn't bring any Euro and
THIS year, a little friend of Monkey did not get a goodie bag becuase his mother didn't have the decency to RSVP (the actualality is, she was using DDs party as her back up plan if the weather was bad - which it normally is in our part of Germany).
I Pinterested some great imaginative goodies, like homemade play dough. I used the head count of those that RSVPd yes. He was sad. The mom was a bit orally pissy. My one friend put her in her place in front of the other moms becuase I had not heard the comments.
She may never learn, but her son may remember this....
I had what could have been an embarrassing situation once, a school friend of DS' did not RSVP, so I thought...it turned out it was on our voicemail that we NEVER use b/c we have an answering machine but somehow the phone went to voicemail. I am so glad I never made a comment to the parent. Not that I think this is usually the case but embarrassing none the less, I had an extra bag and wrote the name in Sharpie instead of fabric paint.
But, honestly I think that inviting people with less than 2 weeks notice to go to a party on Easter weekend is rude, I am not suprised that you did not get a lot of RSVPs because that is a last minute invite and I would assume that I was invited b/c you needed more people to attend.
I threw a b-day party for SD weekend before this past. We invited 10 kids. I got 4 RSVPs, had to call all the other parents, and STILL had 2 kids whose parents I couldn't get ahold of (1 who showed up to the party). I had to scramble for a party favor/craft supplies and it was majorly annoying.
I make every effort to RSVP, whether yes or no. But it does seem to be a dying courtesy.
We invited 13 or 14 kids to DS's birthday party, and we heard back from all but one family. All but maybe 3 kids came. One mom respond to let us know her kids couldn't make it.
The kids attend pretty much anything they are invited to, unless someone is ill or we're out of town. But, I freely admit to being a last minute (ie, 24 hours or so before deadline) RSVPer. I don't want to commit to something and then renege, so I try and wait to make sure DH's work schedule is clear, everyone is healthy, homework is getting done, etc.
So the RSVP is alive in well in TN!
I usually only ask for RSVP about 24-48 hours before the party for this reason.
not sure why the majority of people we know don't RSVP --- it was this way for our baby shower (only 4 people out of 26 replied to the host, 3 rsvp'd to me), 2 replied out of the 12 to SD's birthday party (and only 5 showed up.... so that BM had to pay full price instead of the party fee for the roller rink), and less than half the people i've invited to DD's dedication on sunday have replied. not sure what excuse people are using... i think we as a society overs schedule, and i believe that manners really are swept under the rug in most cases. something i'm trying so hard to get better at...
but liked the balls of one PP, not paying for kids at an event and then not handing out a gift bag, but i think i'm too much of a people pleaser.
Me too! The standard around here is invitations out ~15-20 days before the party, with an RSVP maybe 1-2 days prior to the event. And I so appreciate invites that come saying "siblings welcome" since it makes the planning process a lot easier.