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Two Under 2
ILs: Not respecting wishes while DS is sick (vent)
About 2 months ago DH and I moved in with my inlaws - DH was transferred and we are doing a short sale (we moved from FL back to MA). My MIL/FIL live here along with my BIL/SIL, niece (age 2), and nephew (4 months). The house is huge and we have our own wing so it's not as crowded as it sounds.
Earlier this week our nephew got sent home from daycare with pink eye (he also has a double ear infection). My DS and niece go to the same daycare BTW. A few days later he was sent home again with Hand/Foot/Mouth Disease. My niece now also has HFM plus some sort of skin infection all over her mouth.
DS ended up catching pink eye and also has an ear infection. He has asthma and allergies so of course his asthma flared up and he's now on a regime of meds several times a day.
I've asked my MIL on SEVERAL occasions every which way I can possibly muster to keep our niece and nephew away from DS as much as possible. Everyone else in the house has done their best to comply but she just has a "well, when one of them gets sick the others will also" attitude.
Last night I blew up at her and physically took my son off her lap (my niece was sitting on her lap as well) and asked her for the last time to keep them away from each other. Now she will barely speak to me, which is annoying because I feel like I asked nicely on more than one occasion.
I really don't know how else to go about it. I spoke to DH about it this AM and he agrees with me but wishes I went about it another way. I feel like they think I'm over reacting but when DS gets sick his asthma flares up and I end up having to give him meds around the clock.
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Re: ILs: Not respecting wishes while DS is sick (vent)
Have you tried sitting her down privately and tell her your feelings and explain why? Sometimes if you only talk about it "in the situation" people feel as if they are being attacked.
Maybe you and DH can sit down and talk about it with her? Might help if he is there for support so MIL sees that you aren't just being petty.
I'm a tad confused. Does she watch the kids alone or something? Because I am having a hard time understanding how she could possibly be going against your wishes unless you are leaving your child with her. And if she is caring for all three kids, it is understandable that she can't keep them apart. And if you are right there in the room, I don't see why it is her fault if the kids are close to one another?
If you are super concerned I would encourage you to just stay in your wing while this illness plays out. HFM is VERY contageous. My son got it and regardless of all the Cloroxing and separating I tried to do, my daughter got it 4 days later. The rash on your niece's face is likely the HFM. My son got HORRIBLE blisters on his hands and mouth. Thankfully, HFM doesn't seem to impact my kids respitory systems - no runny nose or cough. Just fever, malaise, then rash/blisters on/in mouth, and on hands, feet, knees...
I am somewhat on your MIL's side when it comes to illness within a household. I TRY to avoid both of my kids getting sick, but honestly when you are under the same roof (sharing toys, being in the same vicinity, etc) it is very hard to prevent the spread. When one of my kids gets sick and the other doesn't I consider it a mini miracle. I guess what I am trying to say is that you shouldn't blame your MIL if your child gets HFM. My kids don't go to daycare and they still caught it from somewhere. These things are hard to avoid.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I agree with sweetpea. Esp if they go to the same DC, and live in the same house...of course they will all get sick. My daughter has asthma, and as much as it would suck to get those sicknesses, it sounds unavoidable living there...or even the fact that he is a daycare. My son and daughter SAH with me and have playdates and gymboree once a week and still get nasty bugs that spread btwn them both. DD was hospitalized with RSV...it sucks but it happens.
It sounds like you have issues with your MIL and this is just one more thing added to that. I can relate, I have many issues with my MIL and when she does something that Ive asked her not to, I react a lot more strongly than if it was someone else...
I also have to say that I felt bad for your niece when you said you took your DS off your MILs lap and asked again to keep him away from her...I dont know how old she is but that would make even my 1.5 year old upset.