Anyone's DH do cervical checks?

TrendyTina · April 2012

My doula is a huge advocate for empowering and including husbands/ partners in the labor and birth process. She said DH will be helping her encapsulate my placenta after the birth as well (he doesn't know this yet..lol)

Anyway, my doula said she could teach my DH how to do cervical checks while we are laboring at home if I get nervous about my progress or whether it's time to head over to the hospital. Not sure if we'll actually do this, but it sounded like a neat way to get DH involved. She said it's really easy to do the check and would only take a second to teach him. She said in her experience it really empowers the husbands and they feel proud when they arrive at the hospital and his dilation estimate is confirmed by the nurse.

Before she mentioned this to me, I have never heard of ANYONE doing this. Anyone on here involve DH in this way?

AnaKat405 · April 2012

I found out I was pregnant from doing cervical checks throughout my cycle. I included my DH in this as well. It was harder for him to tell the subtle differences throughout my cycle, but BFP was obvious to both of us. I tested positive a few days later. I don't think determining dilation will be much different.

My concerns about doing self checks during labor is the risk of infection. But it's certainly something I've been considering educating myself on in the event that I find it necessary. I'm having a homebirth with a MW, but would like to do it unassisted as much as possible. That is, I want my MW there in the event that guidance or intervention becomes necessary.

I think it's great that your doula offers this as an option for your DH to be involved if that is something you are each comfortable with!

iris427 · April 2012

No. I loathe cervical checks and did not want anymore than the bare minimum. I did not have a single one in my second pregnancy. Also I have seen enough physicians and nurses have trouble reaching the cervix and assessing dilation, effacement and station to trust someone who is totally inexperienced to make an accurate assessment.

brennarobbie · April 2012

iris427:
No. I loathe cervical checks and did not want anymore than the bare minimum. I did not have a single one in my second pregnancy. Also I have seen enough physicians and nurses have trouble reaching the cervix and assessing dilation, effacement and station to trust someone who is totally inexperienced to make an accurate assessment.

Your babies are beautiful!! Love the bright, beautiful eyes! ) Good job, mama!

I'm with iris...I don't want any more checks than deemed necessary and I want them done by the midwife that I trust and knows exactly what she's doing. I trust hubby, but he doesn't have experience in cervical ANYThING )

Dana&Pete · April 2012

My doula also mentioned that self-checking is something we can do ourselves if we're comfortable. I'm not sure if my husband will be on board. I've tried to find my cervix a few times and it's not easy to do... but I am still early and it's very posterior. I also worry that I am going to "mess something up", so I'm not sure if I'll keep doing it.

Definitely interested to hear how this has or hasn't worked for others!

ateal2490 · April 2012

Dana&Pete:
My doula also mentioned that self-checking is something we can do ourselves if we're comfortable. I'm not sure if my husband will be on board. I've tried to find my cervix a few times and it's not easy to do... but I am still early and it's very posterior. I also worry that I am going to "mess something up", so I'm not sure if I'll keep doing it.
Definitely interested to hear how this has or hasn't worked for others!

I had a crazed moment and tried to check my own cervix but I couldn't reach it for the life of me. I don't think H would have been down to do it for me, mainly because he knows he has no idea wtf he'd be doing down there. Cervical checks suck anyhow, so I'm not sure I would have opted for more of them, regardless of who was on the other end of the glove.

caralck · April 2012

It's quite a learning curve to find a cervix and give an accurate measure of what you're feeling...been there and done that and if my DH were an OB, then maybe I'd let him try but since he's a computer programmer, he can keep his fingers out of my cervix and on his keyboard or on my back giving me a massage. Nothing would be more discouraging to me to think I was further along than I thought because he got it wrong...or the problem of being further along and staying at home thinking I still had tons of time. While I could deliver my own child en route to my hospital, I'd rather not.

nosoup4u · April 2012

I've always heard that measuring how dilated a woman can be really subjective. And I agree with others above, I don't like cervix checks, and wouldn't want anyone doing them, including my DH.

This is a good list of the emotional signposts of labor - it's probably a bit more helpful for your DH to familiarize himself with them, instead.

https://www.angelfire.com/nb/doulaamanda/Labor.html

Texas77again · April 2012

when i was working in a rural setting we would teach some DH's to do cervical checks if they were interested. it helped them to know when to come to the BC.

my question is that if you have a doula and she can do them then why teach your DH? also why does your doula do cervical checks? most that i know of don't do that, unless they are a monitrice or sometimes they are mw's working as doulas in illegal states.

Sawyerplus1 · April 2012

brennarobbie:
iris427:
No. I loathe cervical checks and did not want anymore than the bare minimum. I did not have a single one in my second pregnancy. Also I have seen enough physicians and nurses have trouble reaching the cervix and assessing dilation, effacement and station to trust someone who is totally inexperienced to make an accurate assessment.
Your babies are beautiful!! Love the bright, beautiful eyes! ) Good job, mama!
I'm with iris...I don't want any more checks than deemed necessary and I want them done by the midwife that I trust and knows exactly what she's doing. I trust hubby, but he doesn't have experience in cervical ANYThING )

Agreed. I trust DH in many many things, but getting an accurate measurement of my dilation isn't one of them, and what's the point if he has little to no idea what he's feeling for (I kinda doubt a 2 minute lesson would be sufficient for most men/people).

Also, as an aside, it's weird to me that she insist DH help encapsulate the placenta. Why would he care about that? Sure, learning about the placenta is neat and educational, but once LO is here I can think of more important and helpful ways for him to be involved with me and LO.

TrendyTina · April 2012

Sawyerplus1:
brennarobbie:
iris427:
No. I loathe cervical checks and did not want anymore than the bare minimum. I did not have a single one in my second pregnancy. Also I have seen enough physicians and nurses have trouble reaching the cervix and assessing dilation, effacement and station to trust someone who is totally inexperienced to make an accurate assessment.
Your babies are beautiful!! Love the bright, beautiful eyes! ) Good job, mama!
I'm with iris...I don't want any more checks than deemed necessary and I want them done by the midwife that I trust and knows exactly what she's doing. I trust hubby, but he doesn't have experience in cervical ANYThING )
Agreed. I trust DH in many many things, but getting an accurate measurement of my dilation isn't one of them, and what's the point if he has little to no idea what he's feeling for (I kinda doubt a 2 minute lesson would be sufficient for most men/people).
Also, as an aside, it's weird to me that she insist DH help encapsulate the placenta. Why would he care about that? Sure, learning about the placenta is neat and educational, but once LO is here I can think of more important and helpful ways for him to be involved with me and LO.

She's not really forcing him. She just encourages husbands to be as involved as possible and DH is completely on board. We are hoping for a water birth in which it will just be the two of us in the water and he will be the one to take the baby out and place him on my chest. He's excited about all of this (including the placenta and dilation). I guess he isn't the norm, but it makes me really happy that he wants to be so involved.

iris427 · April 2012

brennarobbie:
iris427:
No. I loathe cervical checks and did not want anymore than the bare minimum. I did not have a single one in my second pregnancy. Also I have seen enough physicians and nurses have trouble reaching the cervix and assessing dilation, effacement and station to trust someone who is totally inexperienced to make an accurate assessment.
Your babies are beautiful!! Love the bright, beautiful eyes! ) Good job, mama!
I'm with iris...I don't want any more checks than deemed necessary and I want them done by the midwife that I trust and knows exactly what she's doing. I trust hubby, but he doesn't have experience in cervical ANYThING )

Thank you

cyprissa · April 2012

I had 1 check while in labor (when I got to the birth center) and it was excruciating to let my gentle, small handed midwife perform. I cannot imagine DH doing it!!!

pixieprincss · April 2012

Both uur doula and Bradley teacher for DS's birth mentioned this. I am all for an empowered, equal-partner DH, but I feel very strongly about minimizing cervical checks (if doing any). So, it wasn't something we did.

Tash13 · April 2012

Texas77again:
when i was working in a rural setting we would teach some DH's to do cervical checks if they were interested. it helped them to know when to come to the BC.

my question is that if you have a doula and she can do them then why teach your DH? also why does your doula do cervical checks? most that i know of don't do that, unless they are a monitrice or sometimes they are mw's working as doulas in illegal states.

I was wondering the same thing (can't bold text but referring to second paragraph). I didn't think doulas were generally involved in cervical checks or the medical aspect of the birthing process (at least not in a hands on aspect). If my husband wanted to find out how to check, which is totally something my husband would be interested in, then I would want my MW to show him. Even if he did want to find out, I don't think I'd use this during labor since the level of expertise is obviously extremely low and thinking somebody is further along than they are is a very easy mistake to make. My H was VERY involved in our labor (it was extremely physically and emotionally exhausting for him, he fell asleep in a chair about 20 minutes after birth and didn't wake up for an hour even when I tried to get him up), so I don't think the lack of medical knowledge will make him feel left out.

tokenhoser · April 2012

I didn't have any cervical checks at all until we checked in at the hospital and I was 10 cm.

I can't imagine any scenario where I want my DH to do that. Emotional signposts were really accurate for me and didn't involve being jabbed in the cervix by giant man hands.

polling · April 2012

no.

no and no.

but if others are comfortable with it, more power to ya.

pinksweetpea2 · April 2012

tokenhoser:
I can't imagine any scenario where I want my DH to do that. Emotional signposts were really accurate for me and didn't involve being jabbed in the cervix by giant man hands.

LOL

For as open as I am to pretty much anything related to birth, this concept just makes me shudder. No thank you.

TrendyTina · April 2012

theresat858:
Can your DH get his hands on sterile gloves? (ie the kind that come in individual packages with only one pair in the package)...if not, no way would I allow his hands up there during labor (and def. not if your water has broken). I plan to minimize cervical checks myself - one when I get to the hospital (not worth the fight to avoid), and one when I feel ready to push (and maybe one or two more if I'm wrong about being ready at that point).

Yes, this would not be a problem. I have a feeling we won't end up doing this at all, but I thought it was a cool idea. We'll just see how it goes on the actual day!

LindseyJW · April 2012

i think there are many awesome ways for a father to be involved in the birth of his baby without performing unnecessary quasi-medical procedures. i had numerous CEs during my first labor and none during my second. I cannot begin to tell you how much more comfortable that was. i am certain that had my husband been doing them, it would have been better than the MW whom i did not really like, but it was still really nice to just not do them at all.

here are some other ideas for dad to be involved:

record mom's behavior every 15 minutes and look for a change in mood, facial expression, vocalization - this is especically helpful in providing a "report" to your birth professionals (doula, MW, OB, etc)

counter pressure

light touch massage

wipe sweat from her brow

make sure she eats and drinks regularly

make sure she gets up to use the bathroom regularly

recite positive birth affirmations

recount how he fell in love with her, how he knew she was "the one", etc

talk to the baby

take pictures/video periodically

perform perineal massage (both during pregnancy and during labor)

receive the baby

cut the cord

have skin to skin bonding time after mom's time

remain with baby if mom or baby need special attention

clynn58 · April 2012

polling:

no.

no and no.

but if others are comfortable with it, more power to ya.

I didn't want any cervical checks anyway but I would not want DH to be one giving them.

dmhrn13 · April 2012

I'm a Certified Nurse Midwife. It takes us a year or so of practice doing cervical checks before we are accurate. I say, leave it alone- it probably won't be accurate & less is more as far as exams are concerned. Good luck!

annabelle.27 · April 2012

LindseyJW:

i think there are many awesome ways for a father to be involved in the birth of his baby without performing unnecessary quasi-medical procedures.

I agree with this. What's wrong with dad just supporting the labouring woman?

Texas77again · April 2012

theresat858:
Can your DH get his hands on sterile gloves? (ie the kind that come in individual packages with only one pair in the package)...if not, no way would I allow his hands up there during labor (and def. not if your water has broken). I plan to minimize cervical checks myself - one when I get to the hospital (not worth the fight to avoid), and one when I feel ready to push (and maybe one or two more if I'm wrong about being ready at that point).

i never used sterile gloves unless her water was broken.

TrendyTina · April 2012

I had my first real cervical exam this morning (only 1cm) and WOW it hurt. Now I don't think I will even entertain the idea of DH feeling around in there if he's not sure about what he's doing. My thought process was to get 1 check done right before we left the house for the hospital just to verify we weren't going too early. I guess we'll just see how it goes on the actual day. My doula is studying to become a CNMW, so I trust what she says to do.

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