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Attachment Parenting
Is your SO also AP?
If your parenting styles differ, how do you reconcile?
I consider myself semi-AP. I EBF my first just past 1 and weaned him at that time to TTC, my first was almost completely BLW, I babywear some, I sometimes cosleep, I tried cloth diapers for a few months, I prefer gentle discipline, etc. I have become even more AP with my second child. My husband doesn't have any sort of convictions about parenting persay, but fits more into the "norm" of parenting style. I generally only make important parenting decisions after doing research. He usually agrees to whatever I want to do, but only after giving me a hard time about it if he doesn't view it as "normal."
The reason I ask, is that he makes me feel as though sometimes I am neurotic for my style of parenting. Today, he took DS1 to a monster truck show with my sisters' husbands and their kids. BIL picked them up in his car, and as I stood in the driveway, my DH said "can't I just install his seat forward facing so I can get into the car easier?" I feel like when he does this at the last second he is putting convenience over my son's safety and that bothers me. My son is quite small for just over 2 and though I would consider letting him face forward in certain circumstances, I know that doing it in a rush would probably lead to the seat being installed incorrectly and I am not ok with that. Both BILs were in the car and giving me the side-eye over this. We ending up with the seat rear-facing but I think DH was unhappy that I didn't let him make the parenting decision.
The second example is that DS2 is just shy of 3 months, and DH has been begging me to go out to dinner and a movie with him. I've been telling him I would consider it if we found a sitter I completely trusted (we have only had a non-family sitter twice in DS1's 2 years, both were great but I felt anxious almost the whole time). Well, DH has a sitter for tonight, she was great with DS1 the last time, but I am feeling anxious anyway. Heck, DH has only been alone with the two of them maybe 3 times ever and he was anxious each time, so I am not sure why he thinks a sitter can handle them.
I go back to work in 2 weeks (I do 12 hour weekend shifts PT so I can be a SAHM during the week and we don't have to do daycare) and my husband will have them all day long. It's not that I don't trust him, he is a really great father. I am just having trouble relinquishing control over not having things done my way- I have done the research and I know what is safe, etc. I know, that does sound a tad neurotic, but I put my kids' safety an well-being over absolutely everything else in my life. If that makes me neurotic maybe I am ok with it. 
Sorry for any typos- nursing at keyboard.
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Re: Is your SO also AP?
I think you need to pick your battles, and yes, you need to let him find his own way to some extent. But I think you need to talk him around for the things that are important to you.
Safety isn't an AP issue, I know several AP moms IRL who are not all that conscious about extended rear facing and I know several "main stream"/non-AP moms who are car seat freaks. But yeah, this is a battle I would choose to fight. I agree with you that safety is not optional.
If your sitter is comfortable with 2 kids, especially if then I'm sure she'll do fine. I have 2 kids, and have babysat 2 additional kids at times. When I had 1 kid, the idea of doing that would have given me a heart attack, but at this point it's just not a big deal. Yes, I'm sure you'll be a bit anxious and I think that's perfectly normal. I think you should go out.
And I think it's really awesome that your DH is the one who set up the sitter. That would blow me away if my DH did that.
AP is more about listening to your child and responding to their emotional needs. So ERF and other safety issues really have little, if anything to do with the philosophy.
I'd almost say the same is true wrt going on a date. I mean, most AP moms EBF and as a result, it makes it logistically difficult to be out (need to pump, bottle feed, etc) but I'd also argue that AP is also about fulfilling your emotional needs as a parent in order to make you a better parent (hope that makes sense). This goes for both mom and dad.
I think it's natural for any parent to have reservations about leaving two with a sitter. It makes no difference if you AP or not... Worrying about our children's well-being is a function of loving them, period.
All this to say that if you don't feel comfortable leaving them just yet, don't. But also keep in mind that you're still a couple as well
This is not a case of AP vs non-AP.
You need to let him parent. Period. Do you trust him? Then when he's alone with the kids, he gets to make the decisions.
This is not a case of AP vs non-AP.
You need to let him parent. Period. Do you trust him? Then when he's alone with the kids, he gets to make the decisions.
I would say I am probably more AP than DH is, but we also compromise. When DH said he wanted to end cosleeping at a year we had to come to an agreement. He is also the parent and we need to make decisions together. I would have loved to continue to cosleep, but cannot make all the decisions on my own.
There are things that I do differently than DH, but I think it is good for children to have 2 different parenting styles and parents with two different personalities (obviously within reason, not 2 totally different ends of the spectrum). DS learns a lot from me and a lot from DH, because we are different.
I just finished reading Positive Discipline for Working Parents and there is a great section on marriage. Maybe you can check out just that chapter if you interested.
Yeah, you have to let go and give him some space.
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
hmmm....I think this is more a DH issue than an AP issue. I give DH space, but not at the expense of my son's safety. I know all to well the 'man to man' challenges that we can encounter when ' the guys' are around.
I am lucky that they tend to focus more on us versus than on DS, but I can still sympathize. In terms of going out I can totally see that your DH is looking for time and attention (as I suspect are most) try to make a date,even if its way in the future, when a family member will be available that you trust. You just won't enjoy yourself unless yo are both comfortable, so whats the point of going?
By the way super kudos for working all weekend to have them all week. I know that means you never get a break!