Playing outdoors...?

Spin313 · April 2012

At what age do you think it's appropriate for children to play outside alone (both supervised from the window/porch, and completely unsupervised)?

In the winter, we moved into a house that backs onto a private park (there's a creek and some trees behind the park, so no neighbors behind us). The street also dead ends to a very rarely used dirt road...the street is very quiet with very little traffic. There are a bunch of kids on our street and, now that the weather is nice, they are frequently outside by themselves. The kids are all 3-7 years old, although most are 4-5. I kind of feel bad not sending DS outside to play with them, but I feel like 4 years old is too young to be running around unsupervised. Am I a meanie...?

howleyshell · April 2012

Mine have been playing outside in a fenced back yard while I'm at the kitchen window and can see them since 2-ish.

Out front in the neighborhood? Not yet. They're 4 and 5.

I even have a hard time coming inside when a neighbor who has kids out tells me to go work on dinner because she's got an eye on all the kids. AND... we live on a cul-de-sac with almost no car traffic.

No clue when I'll be ready.

Probably not until I have a full summer season of trusting them 100% to cross the street on their own (car awareness) and lord knows we're not there yet.

I will say though that there have been plenty of days where I've abandoned my game plan for dinner so I can stay out with them and keep them company while playing with neighborhood friends. I want that experience for them SO much that I often bail on dinner in order to stretch that time out as long as possible.

When I can't my approach is to invite everyone either inside our house or into our back yard where I can keep an eye on all of them instead of making mine be the ones to have to leave the fun.

macchiatto · April 2012

I wouldn't be comfortable with that yet, especially with the creek there.

Pesky · April 2012

Our house also backs to open space with a creek. Our backyard is completely fenced in though. I let the kids play out back by themselves with our large dog in tow (we do have coyotes who don't bug people but rather not take chances). In the front -- no, not without DH or me. Our neighbors have said "oh, you're too paranoid" but I'd rather be that and keep the kids safe. Especially as DD's judgement can often leave much to be desired at this time, like forgetting she has to talk to me before going anywhere. She's 4 and acts totally on impulse and without thought. Heck, she was almost 4 when she thought putting coins in her mouth was a great idea (leading to having to get a quarter fished out by a gastro). So my kids are reined in accordingly.

shopgirl78 · April 2012

Fenced back yard~ I let my 2 year old play out there with his brother and sister with me checking regularly (unless the kiddie pool is out--then I am out there).

Front yard~ I do allow the older kids to play in the garage with friends. They have strict rules about staying within a set parameter. I check on them regularly, they do not go outside that parameter (which of course includes the street). If they did, they come inside and lose that priviledge. They have about 5-6 neighborhood friends ranging from 4-11. The dads in the neighborhood are usually keeping an eye out while washing cars, mowing, etc...I check with them to see if they will be out and I check regularly, never had any issues. They 11 year old will be my babysitter next year and she is great about playing with them (she's an only child) and keeping in line when I give instructions. My 6 year old is allowed to walk to a friends house (on the same side of the road) 5 houses down (but around a corner). She has also walked to the school with 3 friends, 3 houses down with friend dad watching from the fence (we had to take DS to the hospital). DD is a rule follower for the most part.

Much more frequently, the neighborhood kids are in my backyard. We have a lot of fun stuff and I don't mind them there, though giving them drinks and snacks does sometimes get expensive but I'd rather know where they are. And they have broke our kiddie pool (still usable). I think we are THAT house where all the kids go.

Erin&Rod · April 2012

We live in a rural area. Our neighbors aren't very close by. We also have a pool (with a pool fence around it). We don't let our 4y.o. out unsupervised. If we had a fenced in yard I would let him play by himself. I would not be comfortable letting them play in the neighborhood by themselves until they are older (maybe around 8). Too much could happen. You are not a meanie at all.

rsd12 · April 2012

We live in a neighborhood, but our road is a bit busy. I have allwoed my older two boys to play out side alone with me checking on them since the middle one was almost three years old. We do not have a fence and they are not allowed to leave the yard and they seem to grasp this concept. Obviously I canmt leave the 2 and a half yr old outside yet ; ) as long as I have sight them I would be okay with it, especially with older kids there too. I think back to the freedom of when we were kids and how important it is to be outside! My kids can't play in the steet where we are how, but (we are moving) a house we were looking at is at the end of the culdesac and I would be fine with them playing in the street there ; )

ss+el · April 2012

Not a meanie at all. We have a creek at the back of our property as well, and the neighbor kids (7 of them ages 4-8) are allowed to play in it and are never supervised, so DS is not allowed to just run around with them. I will probably not let him for about 2 more years.

If there are kids out, he plays in the front yard while I read a book on the porch. Usually, one of the younger kids will come over and chalk with him or chase him around the tree. I do trust them enough to leave them alone if I have to go to the bathroom or run inside and grab something, but that's it.

Soter1 · April 2012

No, you aren't a meanie. The ONLY way my DS would be playing outside alone is if we had a big tall fence. Right now I do let him stay in his sandbox while I make lunch, I can see it from kitchen and LR. But I check on him every 2 seconds and he knows not to leave that box. We also are in a very rural area and personally there are just as many danngers here with creeks, retention ponds etc.

segerama · April 2012

We live on a busy street but have a huge backyard that backs up to a quiet neighborhood. I let my daughter play on our deck while I make lunch/dinner or clean the kitchen area. She is visible through our french doors and two windows. If she leaves the deck area, she needs to come in until I can play outside with her.

ToBeMrsT · April 2012

I have no idea when I would be comfortable with that.

DS is 4 and he plays in our backyard alone, but I check on him constantly and I leave the backdoor open so I can hear everything.

We have a rock wall that surrounds our backyard.

byrne15 · April 2012

I don't think I'd ever let ds play outside without me. Is that crazy? I mean maybe when he is like 13...

ETA: we live at a busy intersection

septemberdreams · April 2012

We started at 4.5 letting DS play in the back, keeping an eye out occassionally. We don't have a fence. With some things DS is very responsible and this is one area. So he's been playing outside by himself for a few months and we haven't had any issues. I remember being allowed outside at that age by myself. I think it depends a lot on the child.

WestCoastMommy · April 2012

DS plays out back all the time by himself. I open the kitchen window so I can hear him and I sit at the kitchen table and pay bills or I do dishes. I can usually see him though. We have a completely fenced in yard and I make the dog go out with him.

If there was any sort of large amount of water i.e pool, creek, pound that he had access to it would be a no go.

Mrs Manners · April 2012

Ds plays in our fenced in back yard which is about 1.5 acres alone. I can't see him from the kitchen/living area since he's a floor below on the walk-out basement level. I step on the deck to check on him every so often. He turned 4 in January and I started letting him do this when it got spring time (so two months ago here almost). I would not let him play in an unfenced area unsupervised at this age.

jellyjellybean · April 2012

DS just got a swingset and can now play in our backyard alone while I'm in the kitchen. I put the dogs inside so they don't knock him over but he's happy as a clam.

He knows he's not allowed out front without an adult. Not sure when I'll be ready for that one.

GingerSB · April 2012

I allow my 4&6 yo girls outside all the time.

mavs_girl07 · April 2012

I let both of my kids play in our fenced-in backyard by themselves. Now that it's really nice out, I usually have the window open or the door open so I can hear what they're doing. But out front is a different story. They're not allowed out front unless one of us is with them. No idea at what age that will change.

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