4 year old boy hates to write and color :(

angelrue522 · April 2012

My son will be 4 next week. He hates to write, practice letters or even color. I try to work with him on his letters but he will do maybe one, notice it doesnt look right and throw the crayon. He is a very strong willed child and many things are a struggle. He gets extremely frustrated and discouraged very easily He has been in a home daycare since he was born and we are finally putting him in a more structured, preschool based daycare. I am worried he may already be behind and would love to work with him more at home.Does anyone have any tips on how I can get my son more involved in this without being discouraged? Or is this type of behavior normal for a 4 year old boy?

QtGinaJ · April 2012

I think that's normal for a boy whose been at a home daycare. If he's just turning 4 he'll have at least 1.5yrs of preschool to learn all that - I wouldn't worry.

luvmagoldn · April 2012

Sounds like one of my boys when he was four. He does not enjoy art or crafts and was getting pretty frustrated with writing at the beginning of this preschool year. He turned 5 in January and still doesn't like arts & crafts but will do enough to get it done. But he has totally turned the corner on writing his name, practicing writing numbers, etc.

For now, I would let your son be. You don't want to set up a power struggle over this and have it back fire when he really is expected to work on these skills.

It will come.

roxy_jj · April 2012

I wouldn't worry at all. He still has a lot of time before he needs to know how to write letters. When DD was first learning to write letters she was easily frustrated too. When she was ready, she learned to write letters easily and it wasn't so frustrating.

livinitup · April 2012

Try stamps for letter and let him free-form shapes and use trace books for shapes without the pressure of getting letters "right". He can absolutely practice without having to write an actual letter (circles, lines, semi-circles, etc). I would really follow his lead at what he wants to do and feels comfortable doing.

If he can't refuse homework at age 4, when can he? Don't zap the fun out of learning, it won't lead anywhere good.

And it's all normal. Very. You sound very plugged-in and engaged. That's more than enough to make sure he succeeds in K.

Sawyerplus1 · April 2012

luvmagoldn:

For now, I would let your son be. You don't want to set up a power struggle over this and have it back fire when he really is expected to work on these skills.

It will come.

Definitely agree. There's really no rush for these skills right now, and certainly no need to worry. My DS turned 4 last week and only recently started showing interest in a little bit of coloring, and has little to no interest in drawing pictures or writing letters, numbers, etc. He's been in pre-school since September and it's not an issue.

angelrue522 · April 2012

Thanks so much for the advise. I feel better now!

howleyshell · April 2012

Ditto everyone else - no need to push formal writing at this age!

You could try some fun games that just so happen to help develop the fine motor skills necessary for pencil grasp and writing control, though.

Check out Fun Fusion. Both my boys will do this for hours and it has really helped improve their fine motor skills.

Another fun game is to get droppers (the kind with a long tube and a bulb at the top that you squeeze - kinda like a medicine dropper) from some place like the container store, put in colored water and set out a cookie sheet with some of those tub mat things with suction cups on the bottom turned upside down. They are oddly entertained with dropping colored water into those little suction cup "targets" and the pinching, focused attention on exact placement, etc all help with pre-writing skills.

Another fun one is to get jacks and rubber balls and have him use either kid chop sticks, tongs or tweezers (a bit more advanced) to pick those things up and put them into the spaces on a painting palate. Again a cookie sheet is good for containment.

Google fine motor exercises or games and you'll find all kinds of fun stuff that he might really enjoy doing that will have him moving in the right direction even if it's not actually writing.

The key at this point is to keep it FUN!!!

shopgirl78 · April 2012

My DD wrote all the letters in her name @ 3.75 years and had her name down in order by age 4.

My DS1 is 4.5 years and writes the letters in his name but not necessarily all of them and in the correct order. He practices @ school and has been in a center daycare since he was an infant. He is in PreK3 (birthday is just after the cutoff) this year and has made great strides in letter formation. He likes to "sign" his name to birthday cards. Prior, to now DS1 was just too busy being a boy to learn to write. I completely think that boys learn different...however DS1 was quick to figure out other things (that DD was slow on...)

I bet your son just needs a more time to mature. The preschool program will do wonders.

Soter1 · April 2012

sounds just like my boy. He hates crafts, he IS getting into his leappad though and some of the letter games, which is amazing to me because he is just like your son! He also likes to play break the ice. I think if we can get him to sit and do anything for more than a few minutes it can be the gateway drug to actual learning of writing

good luck. I'm not worried over here about my guy.

Mrs Manners · April 2012

Ds turned 4 in January and is the same way. His school does a "Writing Without Tears" program and he still ends up crying. I don't stress about it yet. He knows all his letters, knows some sight words, is interested in what letter things start with ad how you spell things. He's just more into reading than writing. I've tried to introduce writing as part of play...like when we play "restaurant" I make sure he has paper and pen to take my order. Or when we play grocery store, I have him "write" a grocery list. He just scribbles, but at least it gets him in the habit of holding the pen. When I take him to the real grocery store, I have him help find each item on our list and then have him cross them off. We also work on writing with sidewalk chalk, with his finger on the steamy shower door and in sand in the sandbox.

macchiatto · April 2012

I think the preschool might help. One of my 3 y/o's was never interested in coloring, drawing, etc., but within a few weeks of starting preschool in January, he started getting into coloring. I think seeing all the other kids doing it and having that structure helped him realize it could be fun after all.

byrne15 · April 2012

Have you tried using a dry erase board? chalk outside? something that makes it a little different?

you can even try just using his finger in shaving cream or pudding.

DS sees an OT and has since become more interested in writing/cutting, etc. He really enjoys painting things...not on paper, but like little wooden things we get from the craft store (they are usually a dollar or less). Maybe you could try just some of these things first and then work back into the actual letters?

jsugrin · April 2012

A child does not need to be able to write at age 4. Stop setting unreachable expectations for him and you will all be much happier. Setting expectations he's incapable of reaching are a such way to destroy his self esteem and set up a life long hatred and therefore failure of schooling.

Want a personalized experience?

4 year old boy hates to write and color :(

Re: 4 year old boy hates to write and color :(

Choose Another Board

Search Boards