Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
bitsybubbles7
member
Re: If you know you're having a c/s...
Most doctors prefer to schedule a RCS or planned CS in advance to be sure operating rooms are available, doctors are free, and the appropriate support staff (anesthesiologists, etc) can plan as well. For some types of medically necessary CSs, it's also best to avoid labor entirely. It just makes everyone's life easier.
There's no guarantee, however, that the date of your scheduled CS is when you'll have baby. DD decided she was ready and my water broke 6 days before the scheduled date. It's also not unheard of to reschedule a CS if the operating rooms are occupied with emergency CSs.
I can't tell from your post if you'd be interested in a vbac or not, but if you would be, I wouldn't let the dr dictate that you must have a c-section because your previous labour didn't progress (unless, of course, there is a medical reason your shouldn't go into labour or other factors you didn't mention, which I know could very well be the case). Every labour is different and many women don't progress with one labour and go on to have a healthy delivery the next time. My friend had a c-section with her first after not progressing, and had four-hour-long labour from start to finish with her vbac (with an 11 pound baby). I don't mean for this to sound like I'm pressuring you if you're happy with another c-section, but just to let you know you probably have options if you're not.
In any event, you can have another c-section after going into labour, but it might take some time to find a care provider who will readily agree to this (although, really, what is your current OB going to do if you refuse to schedule a c-section? Drive to your house and drag you to the hospital?). I saw a midwife for my most recent pregnancy, and at first I was contemplating a repeat c-section. Like you, I didn't like the idea of scheduling a c-section- I generally believe that babies know when to come and wasn't liking the idea of surgically removing him by picking a date on the calendar. Where I live midwives are fully certified as primary care providers and are able to order c-sections (although are not able to perform them, obviously) and when I was considering it, the midwife agreed that I could request a c-section if I wanted after I went into labour naturally and she would sign off on that and the on-duty OB at the hospital would do it. I was told that having a section during labour has more risks for you, but that those risks aren't huge and in the end, it's your body and your choice (in the end I chose a vbac).
Good luck!
I was told my pelvis is too small to deliver naturally (that even if I had progressed, my 6lb baby wouldn't have fit). My mother had the same issue with us kids - although when I mentioned it to my doctor when I found out I was pg, I was told it wouldn't be an issue; apparently it was. I was told I could try a vbac, but it would probably end in a c/s again.
What state do you live in? I like the idea of requesting a c/s after I go into labor and am curious about that option.
If a VBAC is something you are interested in could you schedule the RCS it for 41 weeks instead of your EDD just to give yourself a little more time?
My Ovulation Chart
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
It probably depends on your doctor and hospital. The plan for me right now is to schedule an RCS around 40-41 weeks. If I go into labor naturally before that, then they'll let me have a TOL/VBAC attempt, during which, at any point, I can say, I'm done, let's do a c/s. The only issue with that is that I would get whoever is on-call to do my RCS, whereas the planned one would be with the OB that I really like.
My docs office will schedule it on their own one week prior to your due date. The hospital policy won't let them do it any sooner than that, so if your due date is on a weekend, it will be the Monday or Tuesday after.
If you go into labor sooner than that date, then they just have you report to the hospital and it would be an emergency or unplanned c/s.
This is me too which is so crazy to me as I am a size 12 pre-preg. But they say my pelvis is too small as well. I never progressed with my first even with pit. and had a c-section, the rcs with #2 and am scheduled for one with this baby. I had an maternal aunt on my mother's side and my G-Great grandmother also had the same problem.
if you want to vbac you have to wait a certain amount of time usually after baby 1...usually 18 months.
If you a repeat section they will plan your section for 39 weeks..(depending of course on other things) but that is usually the time frame.
If you go before...you go before, but they won't usually let you go into labor on your own after that.
I hear ya, crazy!!!
Piper Jo: October 14'
My ob will let me go into labor naturally and is not scheduling my c/s. She said if anything changes healthwise with me or the baby, then we will have to schedule it. I just don't want to schedule and she is totally fine with that.
The unfortunate thing is, I am a great candidate for a vbac, according to my dr, but the hospitals around here aren't vbac supportive, so my compromise is to go into labor on my own (I hope) and then show up at the hospital and have my c/s then.