Not quite there

starsinger17 · April 2012

I still don't feel pregnant. I keep having to reminding myself that I'm pregnant. It doesn't feel real and I don't feel super attached to my baby. It makes me feel like a bad mommy-to-be. I care about it obviously and can't wait to meet the baby and am super excited don't get me wrong but I also feel bad that I don't feel like some mom-to-be's who are totally in love with their LO's as soon as they have a BFP. My mom says its normal and it'll feel different when I see the baby and when I feel it kick. Any one else not quite there yet?

MrsJRD23 · April 2012

I feel the same in terms of not being super attached. However, I dont think it is wrong or abnormal. I'm still coming to terms with a new reality of being pregnant and working through excitement, nervousness, joy, and fear all at once! Everyone is different and you will bond with your baby to be in your own time.

LLK122207 · April 2012

I have a DS so I know what I have (in a way) coming ahead. It's normal to not feel super attached already! Don't take that as being a horrible person by any means! It is so early in the pregnancy... just try to enjoy every step of the journey because it goes by so fast! And your mom is right it becomes so much more real when you see that baby on the monitor.. hear it's heartbeat.. feel it kick! GL to you! It's not a race so just enjoy it!

curlylocks3 · April 2012

I'm not super attached either. I don't feel pregnant either and I keep having to stop and think about good food choices. I'm hoping I'll feel a little more attached after we see the baby on ultrasound but I'm not going to stress about it if it takes a little longer- I know I'll love this baby more than anything when he or she is here.

IndiaInk · April 2012

I feel the same way. It's hard to wrap my mind around the idea that it's actually real because I don't feel pregnant. I think once I start showing and can feel the baby move, it will seem more real. I am excited, but I don't feel "in love" yet.

cassoppea · April 2012

I know exacty how you feel and it definitely doesn't make you a bad mommy to be. It's hard to fathom something that you haven't seen and can't feel yet. Also, I know for me, I don't want to get too attached to the idea until I know everything is ok. I think the feelings you are having are quite normal. Don't beat yourself up. I promise that once you see that little bean on the u/s screen and feel him/her kick, you will feel much differently!

KikiCohen · April 2012

I certainly don't feel pregnant, and sometimes I honestly forget lol. I don't really have any negative symptoms (I'm just starving all the time), so I think that's part of the reason. But honestly I don't want any of the negatives, so that's fine with me! I think it will be more real when we get to hear the heartbeat in two weeks.

jquirke9881 · April 2012

I don't feel pregnant and MH and I are both cautious until our u/s on 04/26. Then it will feel "real" to us. We don't want to get too excited just in case.

BLuvsE · April 2012

I don't know if you're looking for ways to help you feel attached...but here I go. Hope this helps.

Let me start by saying, DH and I were a little cautious for a few days after the BFP to let ourselves fall in love, because so many people experience loss. But we kind of decided to go ahead and jump into the whole "Mommy and Daddy" thing head first and let ourselves fall head over heels, because 1 - this baby deserves it, and 2 - that's what love is - giving your heart away with no guarantee it won't get broken. It's scary because anything could happen, but I wouldn't have it any other way. (To each her own, though - that's just me and I certainly would never judge a Mama for being cautious.)

That said, here are a few things I do that really help me fall more in love with my Baby.

I keep a journal to the baby, letting him/her know how excited we are, what we are feeling, things people say when they find out, pregnancy symptoms, thoughts I have, etc. I don't know that I'll ever actually give this to my child, but it really helps me to write out what I'm feeling.
My husband and I are always saying things to each other like "You're such a beautiful Mama" and "You're the best Dad ever. Our kid sure is blessed." I know that's cheesey, but the point is, we already consider ourselves this baby's parents so we speak that way.
We went ahead and told some family, and will tell the rest this weekend at Easter. This is not 'right' for everyone because if something goes wrong, you don't want to have to 'un-tell' them, but we told our families because we will want their support in the event of a loss. Telling them and seeing them get all excited really helped it sink in that this was real. Especially when we told the women who were mothers because it was kind of a "Welcome to a long line of awesome Mama's in our family" feel.
We bought just a few baby items (we're using them for our announcement this weekend). I don't know why, but having clothes in my house that my baby will wear makes it seem really super real to me.

I hope that helps IF you were looking for ways to feel more attached - but if not, just ignore it. That's fine too! Every Mama is different and it is my honest belief that as long as we are trying our best and doing what we think is right for our kiddos, we're perfect Mamas and our babies are blessed.

MeganS313 · April 2012

We are also here. I was told I was having a miscarriage with this baby after a negative office test. (It was lunchtime so not FMU and I had drank a crapton of water AND it was still very early). After another positive test and bloodwork they confirmed I am pregnant.
However, since we had gone through part of the grieving process for our "loss" we are having trouble getting excited too. I think once we have our u/s on the 19th things will feel more real and we will get more excited.

Luthy · April 2012

I'm actively trying not to get too attached just in case something should happen. It's really hard. I don't think it makes you a bad mom-to-be at all! I have no doubt that you will love your LO more than anything once he/she is here, and that's what's important.

taliweaver · April 2012

Man, I know what ya'll mean! I just went in for an ultrasound and found out I'm 5 1/2 weeks. I went in early due to bleeding around March 21-25. At the first u/s nothing was seen and yesterday an egg and a yolk sac were visible. They wanted me to go back in another week to listen for the heart beat, but honestly, it's harder going in and seeing nothing on the monitor than it is for me to just wait. My next apt is on 4/24, so by then I'll be 8 weeks and something definitely or definitely not should be going on. With all of that, it is hard to know whether I should let myself get all involved with this little one and potentially feel the loss. But I decided that I would rather feel what I'm feeling than deny myself. I also think it is perfectly normal for you not to feel much yet. My friend wasn't expecting to be pregnant and it took her a long time to get excited about it. I think it's much better if you can be nice to yourself by accepting whatever state you?re in, than it is to feel guilty. We'll have plenty of time to feel the guilt of parenthood later! Wink Allow yourself your peace

qnikki1285 · April 2012

I think it's totally normal. I remember the first u/s with DD being quite a moment, but I think it was our second u/s where you could really see that beautiful face that I really fell hopelessly in love!!

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