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Advice Needed: BF asking for copy of dc's passport

SigirSigir member
in Blended Families

Hi ladies,

I need your advice.  I am the primary custodial parent and hold dc's passport.  Exh demanded for a copy of it sent to him this evening.  I am suspicious of everything Exh does, especially since I got a message just this morning complaining about custody issues. On the other hand, I think I can be paranoid. 

I want to reply, 'Where and when will you be traveling' before i send him anything, but I also don't want to be seen as standing in the way of some fantastic vacation he is planning... and I know if I email that statement, I will get a tirade response that I am the worst thing ever.  I don't think that is an unreasonable thing to ask, really... he is just such a difficult person to deal with.

The CO does state that he has to tell me where he is taking dc, 30 days prior to going.  It does not say anything though about what info he has to give me, prior to me handing over passport information. I predict that he will argue that I have to give it to him, and that he will tell me in his sweet time why he needs it. 

I am just so paranoid though, that I feel uncomfortable sending him the information without at least asking why he needs it.  I don't put anything past him.

What do you all think- what would you do?

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Re: Advice Needed: BF asking for copy of dc's passport

  • SigirSigir member

    I guess now that I think about it a little more, just a scan of the passport, which is what he is requesting, can't get him anywhere really... so maybe I should just let this one go.  it's not like I am giving him the physical passport, and I don't want to be unreasonable.

    I just wish that I did not have to second guess everything with him.  

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  • karleegirlkarleegirl member
    I wouldn't give him the passport but a copy should be fine. I'm curious why he'd want that though.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    Maybe scan and email him a copy of the Passport, along with a copy of the CO where it states he's supposed to give you 30 days notice of any trips?  He doesn't need the Passport to book a flight/trip, right?  He'll only really need it when it's time to depart.

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  • Holly_1007Holly_1007 member
    he can't physically go anywhere with just a photocopy of the passport, I would let that slide.  The only reason he might need it is for proof of DS' birthday or age or something along those lines, I would let this one slide. If he asks for the physical passport then I would interrogate about a trip
                           
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imagedbliesmer:

    Also, we had to travel with my SD and we had to get a signed note from her BM in case they asked for it during the trip.  It was basically a consent to travel and that BM was aware of the travel.  It was a pain because it had to be notarized.  We never had to provide it, but I think in some cases they may.  If he asks you for this, maybe at that time you could ask.  Or like PP, when he asks for the actual copy.

    Some airlines are incredibly strict.  I know when my kiddos fly with their father on Southwest, he's had to provide copies of Birth Certificates and a copy of the CO. When my husband and I took K to TX for Christmas one year, Delta didn't ask for any info at all.  Wouldn't it be nice if they all followed the same rules?!

     

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  • Karma1969Karma1969 member
    I wouldn't do it. I would be scared of a parental kidnapping. I watch Lifetime tv though.
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  • honeybee #1honeybee #1
    imageholly71087:
    he can't physically go anywhere with just a photocopy of the passport, I would let that slide.  The only reason he might need it is for proof of DS' birthday or age or something along those lines, I would let this one slide. If he asks for the physical passport then I would interrogate about a trip
    This. He can't go anywhere that way.
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  • karleegirlkarleegirl member
    imageKarma1969:
    I wouldn't do it. I would be scared of a parental kidnapping. I watch Lifetime tv though.
    Lol.. Back of the lifetime. I watch the first 48 hours on a&e. I joke if I ever get interrogated by the police I know what to do. Ask for my lawyer.
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  • FriskyPandaFriskyPanda
    He can't go anywhere with it, but could he use the copy to claim the original is lost and get a new one?  This is what would worry me.  
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  • hopankahopanka member
    Just ask him what he needs it for. Dont give it until he tells you, period. If he gets nasty, dont respond. He is the one who needs something from you, not the other way around.
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  • FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member
    I agree, ask him why he needs it.  If he won't tell you or gets nasty, just say no.  He can claim it's none of your business, but the fact is you have the passport, he doesn't.  If he doesn't have any imminent travel plans, he shouldn't need it.
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    I would absolutely ask why he wants it, and I would not give it to him until a reasonable explanation is provided.
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