2u2 and not coping..

olga&shaun · April 2012

It literally feels like I'm drowning. Having a newborn (who's actually a very easy baby except for winding/burping issues) and a very busy and demanding little toddler is waaaaay harder than I expected! I never feel like I'm getting it right or finding a balance. Either one of the kids are being neglected most of the time. As soon as I've put DS down for a nap and start focusing on DD, he wakes up again..or we have to go somewhere.. or somebody wants to visit.. and it takes me forever to just get dressed and ready for the day.

sorry for the vent, i just don't know when i'm eventually going to feel like i'm in control of my household again! maybe it's a little bit of the baby blues.. anyone else feeling like you're not coping with two kids??

Fergie+1 · April 2012

It's frustrating. It's very rare that both kids are content at the same time... most days DS1 is awesome and will play by himself for a while so I can tend to DS2, eat/do a chore.... but this last week has been horrible. (DS1 has been sick, feverish, not eating, cranky, 2 molars and an eyetooth coming in...) H and I can't WAIT until DS2 gets big enough to play with his brother so they can entertain one another.

It sucks because I've been told "If both of them need to eat or attention at the same time, tend to the older child. The baby won't remember it." >:{ But who wants to hear their newborn scream in hunger? Not this gal.

I'm dreading going back to work with H being a SAHD. He can handle one kid at a time decently, but both... he has freakouts and overstresses. When DS1 had colic, the man called me EVERY DAY asking me to come home because he couldn't take it. It's a good thing DS2 isn't colicky, but still... the next few months, until DS2 is on a schedule and more active, are going to suck.

shanad · April 2012

Yes! I'm feeling the same way. DS2 eats every 3 hrs exactly. So at noon, he gets a bottle. This is the same time when DS1 needs lunch. After lunch is nap time. I put DS1 down for a nap but he likes to cuddle and read a book first, usually about 10 minutes in, DS2 starts to cry for some reason. Same thing at 3 pm, DS2 needs a bottle but it always happens to be the same time DS1 wakes up from his nap calling for me. I look forward to Monday and Tuesday bc that is when DH has off. He takes care of DS1 and I can sleep in, nap, and focus on DS2. I pray it gets easier but DS1 is hitting the terrible 2s and throws tantrums all day. I had no idea it would br this hard either. You are not alone!

Mrs_MBed · April 2012

I went through this when I had DD2. It was incredibly hard for me at first, especially since DD2 was a preemie and spent her first month in the NICU, only to be released at the beginning of the cold & flu season. So I couldn't even resume DD1's activities/playdates with my friends & their kids b/c I was terrified that DD2 would get sick and end up back in the hospital.

It does get easier and you will find a balance. Just hang in there and do the best you can with what you've got.

I'm having a hard time finding a balance and regaining control now as well. I know it will eventually get better, but since I don't know when it will, it just feels like I'll be stuck in this overwhelming chaos forever

kmhunt11 · April 2012

My older child is 4 and it's hard enough! I can't imagine if she werent so self sufficient. I feel for you ladies!

nickert2000 · April 2012

My 2 older kids are now 5 and 7. It is hard but it will get easier once the baby has a schedule [get them napping at the same time!] You will get into a groove and as they get older it does get easier and easier.

I also recommend showering before you husband leaves in the morning even if you go back to bed after the shower, it is far more enjoyable than taking up nap time and it helps you relax at the start of the day. You can get dressed before you leave the house just wear a bathrobe over the clothes so they do not get covered in stuff before you even step foot outside the house. I also put on makeup step by step after I go to the bathroom in the morning [so I put lipstick on, then after my next bathroom trip I put on blush ect it works!].

Just know you are doing everything you can and make sure you take a little time for yourself!

Irisheyes1247 · April 2012

I definitely have days where I am struggling. This past week has been significantly better than others, in terms of sleep, coping with two kids and managing to get things done around the house. But it is still tough. DD1 is good a playing on her own, but I am relying on tv way more than I would like, because I am having a hard time getting us all organized/dressed/fed/content at the same time at a decent hour to go out before someone needs to eat again and so on. Sometimes I am staring at the clock, counting minutes to nap time. I am really looking forward to developing more of a predictable routine, and for us to be able to get out more because I definitely think that will help.

olga&shaun · April 2012

Thanks ladies, it helps to know I'm not the only one in the entire universe feeling this way.. oh and did i mention the mommy guilt because of all the chaos?

i'm sure it will get better, it's just sad that we don't get to relax and enjoy this special time. good luck to you all! x

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