Is this age appropriate?

twinkl5379 · April 2012

Last time we picked up the kids, SS9 pulls out a pocket knife and says he just got it. BM took him to get it. He already had a band-aid on because he cut himself.

DH agrees with me that it's inappropriate, but doesn't think he has a say. Wow, I'm floored that a parent would let a CHILD carry a knife.

Am I in the minority, or would you let your 9 yo carry a knife?

Karma1969 · April 2012

Not appropriate at all. I'm not sure what state you are in but in MI if a student brings any sort of knife including a pocket one they will be expelled from the school for 1 year. No other school districts will take them.

Holly_1007 · April 2012

ehhh I guess it would depend on the maturity of the child. Since he already cut himself once, thats a sign to me that he cannot handle it properly. Also, make sure it is legal to have. In our state the blade has to be smaller than 4 inches (I beleive) or it needs to be registerted as a weapon.

He needs to understand that he most likely cannot carry that to school.

Hopefully he's just excited that its new and will soon lose its appeal and end up in the back of a drawer somewhere.

you have every right to make a rule that you don't want it in your house and he can keep it at BM's house, Have DH discuss with her that he wished she would have discuess things with him ahead of time about it, but you can't make BM take it away at this point.

karatechrissy · April 2012

Is he a boy scout? I know a lot of scouts that get the Swiss army knives at 9-10. I think it depends on maturity as well. Was there a set of rules and responsibilities given when this knife was given to him?

blush64 · April 2012

I have a 16 year old and a 13.5 year old and I would not let either one carry a knife. There is no reason for a child to have a knife.

In the schools near me they would be suspended for having a weapon at school. In fact, they aren't allowed to bring fake weapons to school either.

EDIT If a child is camping with a parent I can see maybe letting them use a knife but I just don't see a reason a 10 year old would need a knife.

Krisx2 · April 2012

We were going to get SD9 a pocket knife so DH can teach her to use it during our camping trips this summer. She seems mature enough to handle it. BUT I would never let my child keep it in their own possession. It's for a specific purpose regardless of age and doesn't need to be carried around...

SWmama · April 2012

We only recently (within the past year or so) started letting SS use a dinner knife at the table. No way in hell we'd let him have a pocket knife.

karleegirl · April 2012

blush64:
I have a 16 year old and a 13.5 year old and I would not let either one carry a knife. There is no reason for a child to have a knife.

In the schools near me they would be suspended for having a weapon at school. In fact, they aren't allowed to bring fake weapons to school either.

EDIT If a child is camping with a parent I can see maybe letting them use a knife but I just don't see a reason a 10 year old would need a knife.

my 16 year old son collects knives. He hunts and fishes so he uses them for that, but he also just enjoys collecting. He doesn't take them to school and had never cut himself. He was taught safety. But twinkle to answer you I don't think your ss is mature enough, being he's already cut himself. It really depends on the kid. Ds was about 10 when he got his first pocket knife. But his dad who is an avid hunter taught him knife safety. We (parents at both houses)gave him a zero tolerance rule. If he didnt use proper safety and not taking it to innapropriate places we would take it from him. *** your dh most definitely should take it while in yall's custody. If he cuts his finger off it will come back on your dh.

blush64 · April 2012

karleegirl:
blush64:

I have a 16 year old and a 13.5 year old and I would not let either one carry a knife. There is no reason for a child to have a knife.

In the schools near me they would be suspended for having a weapon at school. In fact, they aren't allowed to bring fake weapons to school either.

EDIT If a child is camping with a parent I can see maybe letting them use a knife but I just don't see a reason a 10 year old would need a knife.

my 16 year old son collects knives. He hunts and fishes so he uses them for that, but he also just enjoys collecting. He doesn't take them to school and had never cut himself. He was taught safety. But twinkle to answer you I don't think your ss is mature enough, being he's already cut himself. It really depends on the kid. Ds was about 10 when he got his first pocket knife. But his dad who is an avid hunter taught him knife safety. We (parents at both houses)gave him a zero tolerance rule. If he didnt use proper safety and not taking it to innapropriate places we would take it from him. *** your dh most definitely should take it while in yall's custody. If he cuts his finger off it will come back on your dh.

I commented according to our circumstances and if a child isn't actually hunting or fishing at the time, there just doesn't seem to be a reason to carry a knife.

Maybe it's a regional thing, I don't know anyone into hunting so I haven't even known anyone to carry one around as an adult.

I agree with being taught safety around knives and my kids were.

mom2one · April 2012

is he in cub scouts?

fellesferie · April 2012

"Having" a knife and "carrying" a knife are two different things IMO. At 9, if DS was in scouts or participated in some similar club/activity, he might be allowed to have a knife. But he would certainly not carry the knife, and if I caught him doing it, he would no longer have the knife.

I would also be incredibly pissed if someone gave my child a knife and did not tell me.

If BM gave him a knife and allowed him to take it to your house, she should have put it in YH's hands and explained the entire thing.

karleegirl · April 2012

I do think it's a regional/cultural thing. We live in a rural area and most older boys have and carry knives. I had a hard time when ds was13 and bd asked me if he could buy him a gun.

FutureMrsWittig · April 2012

twinkl5379:

Last time we picked up the kids, SS9 pulls out a pocket knife and says he just got it. BM took him to get it. He already had a band-aid on because he cut himself.

DH agrees with me that it's inappropriate, but doesn't think he has a say. Wow, I'm floored that a parent would let a CHILD carry a knife.

Am I in the minority, or would you let your 9 yo carry a knife?

We just started letting our 9 y/o use a knife at the dinner table.

Knives scare the h3ll outta me, so no, I don't think it's appropriate. But I understand why you can't say anything either... Rock... hard place...

Ilumine · April 2012

Does his mother know that he actually had it ON his person? Did his mother actually give it to him for always keeps or were there rules to be had, which SS broke?

Given his age, I would suspect that his version of this tale and what his mother actually said/did are two totally different things. I would normally suggest a quick email or phone call...

J&A2008 · April 2012

It really depends on the child and the environment.

Our kids are in cub scouts, and they get badges for woodworking. Some of the prizes they are awarded, as young as 7, are pocket knives, but these kids all have adult instruction and supervision when they are using them, and they are used purposefully, not as toys.

Our boys have used hatchets and pocketkinves, but only at specific times for a specific reason. They don't carry them in their pockets or use them to amuse themselves.

TheBuddha · April 2012

holly71087:

ehhh I guess it would depend on the maturity of the child. Since he already cut himself once, thats a sign to me that he cannot handle it properly. Also, make sure it is legal to have. In our state the blade has to be smaller than 4 inches (I beleive) or it needs to be registerted as a weapon.

He needs to understand that he most likely cannot carry that to school.

Hopefully he's just excited that its new and will soon lose its appeal and end up in the back of a drawer somewhere.

you have every right to make a rule that you don't want it in your house and he can keep it at BM's house, Have DH discuss with her that he wished she would have discuess things with him ahead of time about it, but you can't make BM take it away at this point.

You can't make the rules at BM's house but you sure as heck can make them at your house. If it makes you uncomfortable tell him to hand it over and you will return it at the end of the visit.

DH's dad had a tiny little pocketknife he gave SS when he was 8. It was probably an inch long. SS handled it very well but I found it in a pocket of his jeans that were on the way to the washing machine. I told DH that I didn't think he was ready for it simply because he didn't take care of it. I would have washed it and either ruined the knife or hurt my washing machine.

Regardless, you are allowed to make the rules at your house and I encourage you to do so. SS will respect you more for it.

+j+k+ · April 2012

Wait a minute. Your husband doesn't have problems with guns but he's not okay with knives? That's odd. And confusing.

Personally, I think it depends on the maturity of the child. My brothers had a knife at that age and it was not a problem. Granted, it was an itty bitty thing.

Farming communities are a little different in my opinion, and it's common place, but you also have to consider if the boy has exhibited clear maturity to know that he can't take it to school ever, and can be responsible with it.

Ilumine · April 2012

+j+k+:
Wait a minute. Your husband doesn't have problems with guns but he's not okay with knives? That's odd. And confusing.

Personally, I think it depends on the maturity of the child. My brothers had a knife at that age and it was not a problem. Granted, it was an itty bitty thing.

Farming communities are a little different in my opinion, and it's common place, but you also have to consider if the boy has exhibited clear maturity to know that he can't take it to school ever, and can be responsible with it.

Im still on the point that she is taking the 9yos version of this as 100% truthful fact. Another example of the "vague" parenting skills. The very first thing my DH or I would have done is call the BM to get clarification, not post a general question on a message board.

Now, if Twink did this and just did not post about BMs responcse, I apologize to you.

Melzig76 · April 2012

karleegirl:
blush64:
I have a 16 year old and a 13.5 year old and I would not let either one carry a knife. There is no reason for a child to have a knife.

In the schools near me they would be suspended for having a weapon at school. In fact, they aren't allowed to bring fake weapons to school either.

EDIT If a child is camping with a parent I can see maybe letting them use a knife but I just don't see a reason a 10 year old would need a knife.
my 16 year old son collects knives. He hunts and fishes so he uses them for that, but he also just enjoys collecting. He doesn't take them to school and had never cut himself. He was taught safety. But twinkle to answer you I don't think your ss is mature enough, being he's already cut himself. It really depends on the kid. Ds was about 10 when he got his first pocket knife. But his dad who is an avid hunter taught him knife safety. We (parents at both houses)gave him a zero tolerance rule. If he didnt use proper safety and not taking it to innapropriate places we would take it from him. *** your dh most definitely should take it while in yall's custody. If he cuts his finger off it will come back on your dh.

Looking back at when my brother and were children, we both had knives & we both had hunting riffles at that age too. I think the difference is we were taught to respect them and knew when it was appropriate to use them and when it wasn't. I think that would be the key is if your child is mature enough to respect the knife. And as far as the cutting him self...I almost cut myself several times a week when cooking, I'm not sure that is something to judge it off of, maybe ask how. So interest and teach him, or have your DH since you're not close with the kid.

twinkl5379 · April 2012

mom2one:
is he in cub scouts?

No, he is not in cub scouts. I asked him what it was for, and he didn't have an answer.

I understand that this may be more common in rural areas, and if there is confusion b/c we sometimes visit my husband's family's farm, but we do NOT live in a rural area and neither does SS. We live in a major metro area, so I doubt that many children are carrying knives (at least in the nicer areas).

twinkl5379 · April 2012

+j+k+:

Wait a minute. Your husband doesn't have problems with guns but he's not okay with knives? That's odd. And confusing.

Personally, I think it depends on the maturity of the child. My brothers had a knife at that age and it was not a problem. Granted, it was an itty bitty thing.

Farming communities are a little different in my opinion, and it's common place, but you also have to consider if the boy has exhibited clear maturity to know that he can't take it to school ever, and can be responsible with it.

Yes, my H bought a gun for him, but it is in my H's possession at all times. SS does not even take it to him mom's house; it stays with us. And SS doesn't even know where it is hidden at. He only has access to it IF we go to the farm and H assists him.

He said BM took him to buy the knife, and I assume she knew he was carrying it. He did not state what the rules were for it.

I can also understand having it but keeping it put away, out of reach, as a collectible. But this was not the case.

Personally, I don't even think the gun for a child of that age is appropriate, but it's not my kid so I didn't have a say. H bought it for him without even telling me.

Now when he told me he also wanted to get the autistic 7 year old a gun (that of course would stay in our possesion, not the child's), I put my foot down, and he listened that time.

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