December 2011 Moms

Full-time working Mom's

I officially go back to work full time on Monday and for the past 10 days I've broke down and cried. I was able to work the system and get 18 weeks maternity leave, so I'm know I've extremely lucky to have had all that extra time, but now my that it's officially up I couldn't be more sad Crying

I guess I'm hoping to get words of encouragement from those of you out there who are full-time working Mom's and have gone back already. Hopefully this can become a little easier on me hearing how it's gone for you! Just the idea of having to leave the little guy at a day care breaks my heart, and as silly and ridiculous as it sounds- I feel like I'm abandoning him. I'm going to blame these dang Mommy hormones for that one!

 

 

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Re: Full-time working Mom's

  • things have been going decently well for me.  I've been back at work for about 6 weeks now. 

    To be honest, I miss my LOs a lot.... but I also enjoy being out of the house and interacting with my colleagues more than I thought I would.  I know be a SAHM is work, a LOT of work, but I feel better about myself now that I'm bring in a paycheck again. 

    That said it is a struggle to be 100% at everything.  I can't be the best wife, mom, and employee.  That was hard to wrap my head around.  I just have to do my best.  The girls liked DC a lot and would come home wiped out.  They liked "interacting" with the other kids.  Now they are back at MIL's (they were in DC while MIL was on vacay).

    big ((HUGS)) to you as you make the transition.

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  • Thanks, it's really nice to hear someone else in a similar position and it's good to hear your girls liked DC! And by the way, you're amazing for accomplishing working with twins!!

    I know it'll be good for me and him in the long run, and I've always known I've wanted to work and be a Mom, I guess it's just working full time and with people I don't really like that kills me. I wish I could afford to be part-time at a place where I get along with my colleagues!

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  • I started back this week, so this is really fresh for me.  I will agree with PP that I'm enjoying my interaction back with my coworkers and didn't realize how much I actually missed that sense of purpose (not that being with my daughter wouldn't be a "purpose" but I always thought of it differently since I knew I wouldn't be able to do it).

    I had the hardest time on Monday, especially because we had a trial run last week and she wouldn't eat for them. She started out the same way on Monday, but finally broke down and took the bottle around mid-day- if they are hungry enough, they will eat or they will make up for it at home. I think she really enjoys watching the other kids (most are older and mobile, so I think she like watching them move around) and she comes home exhausted every day.

    Just take this as an opportunity to be sure that you are treasuring all the time that do have with them and know that they will be just fine and so will you!

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

  • i went back at 8 weeks. i was honestly counting down the hours until i could go back to work. i have no desire to SAH and the 8 weeks i was home i was the most unproductive, frumpy, crabby person around. personally, i NEED to work. the busier i am, the better off i am. i get more done and treasure the time i get with DS more.

    i went back to my PT job at 6 weeks. i dropped him off at the childcare at the facility (we get 2.5 hours of free care while we work) and didn't look back. it was good for him to be exposed to other adults and kids, and i looked at it as my "me" time, even though i was working.  

    i really enjoy both jobs, at least most aspects of both of them. DS starts daycare in 2 weeks; DH has been home with him since i went back to work. honestly, i think it's going to be harder on DH to have less time with him than it is me because he's really enjoyed being home with DS these past 6 weeks.  

    Baby Charchie born 12/22/2011
  • I've been back since 6 weeks. It was awful going back that early but now I am fully adjusted and it's not bad at all! I wish I could work like 30 hours instead of 40 but oh well. The biggest thing is settling into a routine and managing your free time you do have. I make way less homemade dinners now because I want to spend time with her vs cook. I also really really cherish my weekends much more now! You will be fine (: the adult interaction has been great, I'm not the type that is cut out to be a Sahm though. 
  • I went back to work FT after 12 weeks and I too cried daily feeling like I was abandoning him. I still want to SAH but I know that I can provide for him better with my paycheck. We have a PT sitter and DH is at home with him two days a week so not having to drop him off anywhere has helped with the transition.  A big hug to you as you go back and know that it does get a little easier in time.
  • Thank you all SO much for your encouragement and words of wisdom. It honestly, really helped me a lot and put things into perspective. I just needed to hear how others were coping, and that's exactly what you did!

     I know I'm definitely not the type that could be a full time stay at home Mom very easily...I'm a busy body by nature and crave being productive in a different way that Mommy chores unfortunately can't fulfill, but I don't want to work full time either. Part-time is the happy medium I crave but can't afford! I'm hoping after a few weeks everything will settle in and this full-time deal won't be so bad. :-)

     Thanks again..

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  • Honestly, I didn't think I would cry when I left LO at daycare the first day because was SO ready to be back at work, but I did. But then I quickly got over it. 

    It helps that: a) I LOVE my job and missed it terribly on maternity leave and b) LO loves daycare and they love her. They practically snatch her out of my arms in the morning to cuddle her. I know she's well cared for. And I've watched her on the video sometimes and she loves the other kids. 

    Good luck adjusting - just remember that daycare is not the devil and it can be a good thing for all involved! 

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  • For me it's literally day-by-day. Today I bawled the whole way home from picking him up. The daycare gals were saying how much fun they have with Little A and how much he smiles and laughs for him. While that makes me feel good that he's having fun at daycare, I was crying because I felt like it's not fair that I'm not getting those smiles and laughs throughout the day. Days like today I try to think if it would be at all possible work PT or stay home and usually come to the same conclusion that it's just not financially possible. Then, there are other days where I feel like this really is best for our family for me to work FT. I think it's one of those where you never know for 100% that what you're doing is best.

    My best piece of advice is to have DH or someone else drop off at daycare if you can. The days I drop off I'm a mess. He's happy when I leave him, but something about leaving him is just terrible for me. And picking him up is the highlight of my day! 

     

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  • The anticipation was way worse than actually going back. The first day was a little sad when I left, but I agree w what pp said, I didn't realize how much I missed the adult interaction and getting out of the house. Also, I found that I enjoy my time with lo so much more now.
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  • I want to hug and kiss this thread!!! Thank you for asking. Thank you to the moms for sharing.
  • I've been back to work for a month now. I won't lie, the first couple weeks were hard. It's difficult to find balance and time to do everything.

    I will say that it DOES get easier. I'm finding my "groove" now and everyday gets a little better.

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  • I had 12 weeks of maternity leave and I have been back at work for 4 weeks now. The first day back I cried the whole way to work but once I got there I was alright. I felt like no one could take are of him as well as I could. My husband watches him 2 days a week and I realize now how great it is that he gets to bond with the baby and really get to know him the way i did the first three months. My husband used to hand the baby to me whenever he cried, now he knows how to calm him and can handle it on his own (for the most part :)

    My MIL and Mother watch him the rest of the week. I am happy he will get to know his grandmothers well. I miss him a lot everyday but I know that I need to work for financial reasons. When you don't have a choice you really just have to make the best of it or you will drive yourself crazy. 

  • For me, the idea of going back was much harder thn actually doing it.  The day before my first day back, I was a mess.  But the day itself wasn't so bad.  And that was 4 weeks ago.  And now its awesome.  I love getting her ready, getting dressed while she watches, handing her to DH to take her to daycare and then picking her up at the end of the day.  She loves daycare and I get to go be an adult for 8 hours.  Win, win.

    To deal with it in the week or so before I headed back, I just thought about the fact that I've worked so hard to establish a career and I was actually going back to work for her.  If I had decided to be a SAHM, my profession would have been really hard to get back into after a few years away.  And I want my daughter to know me as a career-woman and mom.  Both of those things are really important to me.  I want them to be important to her too.  I want her to go to college, find what she wants and take over the world.  I want to be a role model.  Not that I wouldn't or couldn't do that if I stayed at home.  But its just not the role model that I (or DH) want to be for her. 

  • For me the lead up to going back to work was 100 times worse than actually doing it. I know that's not very helpful but once you get into the swing of it and are in a routine it is much easier. Good luck!
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  • imagemichelle142:

    I've been back to work for a month now. I won't lie, the first couple weeks were hard. It's difficult to find balance and time to do everything.

    I will say that it DOES get easier. I'm finding my "groove" now and everyday gets a little better.

    This exactly. I've been back a month and we are settling into a routine. DS seems to have fun at DC and the ladies love him. It was very hard to leave him those first few days, but it does get better. I'm a teacher and I missed my students and job. 

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